Santa Jaws Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A teen inadvertently unleashes a killer Christmas shark after receiving a magic pen that brings any drawing to life.

Review: I don't care what anyone says, this is a Christmas classic! Yes, this movie is cheesy and beyond low-budget, but it has a charm to it. More importantly, "Santa Jaws" has self-awareness and is plain fun, capturing that Christmas spirit. The tone and goofiness gives off vibes similar to "The Machine Girl" just lacking the fan service. If the filmmakers had a bigger budget, and kept the ending more whimsical, this could be essential Christmas viewing.

Okay, so the hardest part in convincing someone to give this little movie a chance is the titular character herself, Santa Jaws. This wreaks of being one of a thousand trash movies about killer sharks--I get that. But it's not! The story embraces the outlandish nature of Santa Jaws as she's merely a creation of two teens. These two want to make their own comics and hang out at the local comic shop. The main kid, Cody, receives an antique pen that can bring anything the user draws to life. So, in a way, the story has genie-esque ideas merged with the killer shark...eh, sub-genre(?). There are a lot of creative ideas incorporated into the movie that help elevate it. For example, I like that Santa Jaws goes after people celebrating Christmas yet is vulnerable to Christmas-themed weapons. Of course, the best aspect is the family-friendly nature to the antics with lame puns and homages to the likes of "Home Alone."

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm well aware of the lameness, bad acting, cheap effects, etc. that is presented here. However, as I've mentioned many times in the past, I'm a sucker for movies with charm. Between some of the character banter, little nuances, and the fun-factor, I can appreciate what the filmmakers were trying to convey. And who doesn't love sharks and Christmas?! The only aspect that I didn't like was the weird ending implying Cody might use the pen for evil or something which didn't fit the tone at all. Nevertheless, audiences should give this movie a chance. It's not going to blow anyone away, but it's like the one Christmas horror movie that's family-friendly besides "Gremlins."

Notable Moment: When Santa Jaws reaches its ultimate form with broken ornaments for teeth and a candy cane horn.

Final Rating: 5/10

Terrifier 3 Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Five years after Sienna killed Art the Clown on Halloween, he returns to torment Sienna and her family at Christmas.

Review: Upfront, "Terrifier 3" is ballsier, gorier, and funnier than part 2 which should make any fan of this franchise happy. Art goes on a huge rampage, racking up a considerable body count, all the while the film delivers the goods and then some. However, does this serve as the alluded "Empire Strikes Back" for this series? The answer is: kinda. All hope does seem lost for our dear Sienna, but I think audiences can see where the story is probably heading. Now, with that said, I do still think part 2 is the superior entry...only by a hair. Finally, this should count as a Christmas horror movie, but I'd bet money part 4 will be back to Halloween since parts 1, 2, and "All Hallows' Eve" were all Halloween-centric.

Let's be honest, what does everyone want from this film? CARNAGE CANDY! The kills are nuts, frequent, and creative--the gore-hounds will be happily fed needless to say. From the opening sequence to the final fight, you will see one set piece after another in relentless fashion that makes the longer run time worth it compared to part 2. Speaking of the final fight...this was extremely satisfying with a sword vs. chainsaw clash and Sienna kicking some major ass after the severe abuse she takes this time around. As with part 2, I hope your favorite color is red, because you will be seeing a whole lot of it by the time the credits roll.

Where I start to have mixed feelings for part 3 is with the story and how some ideas were handled. Story beats are still at breadcrumb levels, with only hints as to what is the main goal of Art and the demon. We do know the demon has switched from taking the form of one of Art's victims to possessing Victoria. We also learn the demon does want to possess Sienna, for unknown reasons, which does explain what was happening in part 2 with the water tank she imagined drowning in. Furthermore, the shorts from "All Hallows' Eve" are going to be integrated into the ongoing story judging from the ending.

What doesn't work for me is the time jump of 5 years. It would have worked if Art was regenerating from just a head with the help of the demon. Instead, Art and the demon hibernate for no discernible reason after Art easily plops his head right back on his body. Not only does this take away from the awesome defeat of part 2, it makes the birthing of the head scene nonsensical. And having Art and the demon only wake up after being disturbed makes their schemes seem stupid, because what if no one ever woke them?! I'm okay with the time skip as a concept to bring the actors closer to their real ages, but it felt gimmicky to use Christmas as a setting. As such, no one is questioning why a clown-Santa is running around? Don't get me wrong, it is humorous to see, yet it works better in the Halloween setting where Art can blend in seamlessly. There are other nitpicks I have, but the final big complaint that I hear from others--and I will explain my stance later--is the off-screen death of Jonathan. This is an unacceptable slap in the face if it's not a ruse by the writer/director, Damien Leone. Guess we'll see.

Overall, "Terrfier 3" is a fun, outlandishly goofy slasher that gives the audience exactly what they're asking for with memorable kills and plenty of 'oh shit' moments. David Howard Thornton is fantastically evil as Art, and you know I love the luscious Lauren LaVera as Sienna--fusing the final girl/chosen one archetypes into one. Of course, this isn't the kind of movie for everyone--not even all horror fans--but you have to give credit where credit is due in successfully establishing this generation's Jason or Freddy. That ain't no easy feat. So check this out now or wait for Christmas and truly get into the spirit!

Notable Moment: When Art overhears the Mia character talking about him. His jokey reactions to her are hilarious especially when he smells himself and gets pissed when she says she wouldn't fuck him. Priceless.

Final Rating: 6/10

Bonus: Here is my speculation at where part 4 will go: the drawing of Sienna as the battle angel holding a head from part 2 will come true. I think most of us assumed that was meant to be Art's head in a symbolic sense, but, instead, I think it will be literal. That devil-looking head is probably the true form of the demon which connects to "The Ninth Circle" segment from "All Hallows' Eve" and is a book the chick is reading at the end of part 3. Sienna will gain actual armor to become the battle angel instead of the cosplay thing she made. This armor will be made from the same magic material of the sword--being forged possibly in hell as we see that blacksmith demon on a chain held by...an angel(?). And, yes, I believe this will all take place on a different Halloween night...maybe back at the Terrifier in that amusement park.

Jonathan will be revealed to still be alive since the only proof he was dead was Victoria-demon having his glasses. Well, the last time we saw Jonathan he had his glasses off. Art and the demon probably tried to kill him and he ran away without the glasses. Gabbie will be possessed by the demon and have Sienna's sword. Sienna will be stuck trying to figure out a way to save Gabbie without killing her. We will probably finally learn what really happened with the dad, why they want to possess Sienna, and how Art connects to everything.

Let me know what you think will happen or if you think I'm on the right track.

Late Night with the Devil Review

 

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: During a Halloween special, a late show host brings on an allegedly possessed girl as a guest only for things to go predictably wrong.

Review: Part homage to late night television and part throwback to '70s horror, "Late Night with the Devil" is like a breath of fresh air. Of course, this idea of a lost episode, or discovered footage, is nothing new to the genre at this point, however, "Late Night" is able to work with its setting in an incredible, self-contained way. In particular, the acting sells the scenario with the right mannerisms and attention to detail. The only complaints I have are in regard to a lackluster ending, and unnecessary explanations which would have worked better if kept vague.

What works so remarkably well here is the presentation of the late show itself. Ignoring the fake TV network, the rest of the production feels believable to the time without coming off as an overly cliched interpretation of the '70s; they could have hammed it up big time, but things are grounded in the plausible. Furthermore, the host, Jack Delroy, has that right level of charm, humor, and physicality to feel possible. David Dastmalchian nails the manner of speaking and self-deprecating stylings of the era perfectly; Mr. Dastmalchian deserves extra credit for carrying this film on his back.

For the scares, this movie pays tribute to the popularity of religious horror at the time like "The Exorcist" and "The Omen." Obviously, the best parts are when things go wrong and everyone is dying in gruesome ways. The possessed girl, named Lilly, is fantastic since her dialogue always has these ominous hints of what is to come; her antics alone help to build a ton of tension. You'd think the fodder characters would be on the flimsy side, but, surprisingly, they're also fun and interesting especially the skeptic. The banter and character interactions help to sell this fake footage as real all the better.

Where I do think the film falters most is the ending which connects back to the opening segment giving too much away too soon. Straight up, the hallucinations, or whatever it was supposed to be that Jack experiences, come off goofier than it should. The guy in the owl suit was actually outright stupid. I get that there was supposed to be this makeshift connection to Bohemian Grove (which is a whole different rabbit hole unto itself), but the tone was off; I wanted more of a 70's-esque vision of hell or something otherworldly. The idea that the wife's ghost was helping him is left ambiguous as it's unclear whether she was trying to help Jack or it's all manifested by the demon. Rather than explaining all these things about Jack basically selling his soul or his wife dying due to some kind of curse or whatever, these plot points, and many others, could have been told in passing to keep the viewer guessing. In fact, many of these story beats end up being repeated throughout the movie anyway defeating the purpose altogether. Things should have been kept to a simple setup for the show and the host's ratings--why he would pull this stunt in the first place. It's as if the opening narration was adjusted to help audiences that couldn't pay attention or something.

With all things taken into consideration, "Late Night with the Devil" is awesome, offering something new to the Halloween horror scene. It's more than that though--the retro style is a huge plus accompanied by topnotch acting from the lead and supporting roles. The general production and attention to detail is to be applauded, and I enjoyed the way the lighthearted moments of the fake TV show contrast with the dark turn the story takes. While the ending can come off as a whiff after so many home runs, I don't think that hurts the final impression. This is definitely worth watching this, or any, October 31st.

Notable Moment: When the demon fully emerges from Lilly and goes on a murderous rampage. It's a fantastic sequence all around that serves as a satisfying reveal to all the build up.

Final Rating: 6.5/10