Prometheus Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A team of scientists explore an alien planet they believe holds the key to the origin of humanity.

Review: Forget the fanboys voting this bad boy up, this movie is just bland sci-fi drivel. I had some high hopes going into this one, but once again I am completely let down. This movie is a total mess from start to finish; I can already imagine the "director's cut" version on DVD! While I do like the premise of ancient aliens, virtually nothing else works here. Forget explaining how they traverse the cosmos with shoddy technology (I never got the impression that humanity was that advanced form this film), we have bigger issues like the fact that this expedition cost trillions of dollars so we'd assume they'd send Earth's greatest scientists, right?! Wrong. We have goofballs who see an alien and treat it like it's some friendly little kitty...of course they die! I mean, seriously? This was so stupid I felt like I was watching one of those pathetic sci-fi channel movies. Then we have so many idiotic moments like a zombie appearing out of nowhere with no explanation. Again, seriously?! There is some alien "mutagen" of sorts and it creates freaks, we are to assume, to explain away most of the pure shenanigans. But, also out of nowhere, the A.I. (named David) they have onboard decides he will mess with the humans to see the results; we are never told why which adds to the out of nowhere vibe this film continually exudes. The extremely vague connection to the "Alien" franchise is that we see the creation of the first face-hugger(?)...I really don't know; it just looks like some giant squid out of nowhere, yet again. Finally there are the "space jockeys" from "Alien" and we never get a full answer as to why they made humans, but apparently David makes them go apeshit...so there's that. Finally, the film just ends abruptly with no answers given; the final scene is the only survivor saying she's going to go to the aliens' homeworld "to get some answers." Hello! Shouldn't that have been what we got with this stupid movie?! Nothing works, it's a total mess, and stupid to boot, but the visuals are nice and the hints of a good script are there somewhere. Forget whatever bull shit you hear or read about this film being great and revolutionary. This is just straightforward garbage you could pull from any of thousands of sci-fi novels. An easy pass if not for the sake of saving you the disappointment from all the hype that surrounded this film.

Notable Moment: That odd emergence of a zombie-like idiot. I mean, what were they thinking?!

Final Rating: 5/10