A Haunted House Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Yet another forgettable parody of "Paranormal Activity" and other recent horror films.

Review: Oh lord here we go again. I think it went without saying that this movie was going to suck ass, but I had hoped there would be at least some decent jokes. While I'll admit there were a few parts I smirked during, and even one chuckle, the majority of the time I kept thinking about how lame, pathetic, and outright idiotic most of the gags were. Obviously they touched on material people have been making fun of for years, but, besides this, they let too many stupid jokes drag on and on to the point it became torturous. And when these shitty setups play out, they bring the pacing to a grinding halt. One scene that was beyond stupid was when they were trying to communicate with the demon, or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be, and the entity spelled "ghost" wrong and the characters acted like this was the funniest thing. I realize they wanted to reach the lowest denominator of idiots that lap this shit up, but even this level of mediocrity should be insulting to anyone. The biggest flaw was the very premise itself whereby they made the focus of the film's story based around "Paranormal Activity." At this point in the game it's way too late; I mean, this year we're coming up to "Paranormal Activity 5" for god's sake! It is way past the time to move on and use some new material as the focus. There's been quite a few decent horror films since PA that could have been used as the focus such as "Insidious" and "Sinister." Was this garbage shelved for a couple years or something? One of the main reasons why the first "Scary Movie" was even halfway decent was because it had the entire horror genre to draw upon. By "Scary Movie 3" audiences realized they had exhausted the genre and were relying on only recent films while the jokes had become pathetic and the gimmick had run its course. Even though they are following PA's storyline, we don't really get a concise plot. I know it's ridiculous to ask for a plot to a stupid parody movie, but it was completely senseless because they were simply recreating the famous scenes but there wasn't really a reason for why this was even happening or any reasonable sense of transition. The acting was at least tolerable which is surprising, because I can't stand Marlon Wayans and he's the main character. Accompanying Mr. Wayans is Essence Atkins (gotta love that name) as his girlfriend; she has this whole sexy milf thing going on which did help. She does a slightly better job probably because she's given better material to work with, and I liked the little nuances to her facial gestures; she at least understands there's more to comedy than the delivery of lines, over the top screaming like a girl, and ass shots. There are a bunch of background characters mostly played by other semi-famous comedians, but all of them are misplaced and wasted. These characters each have some stupid ongoing joke about them that continues throughout the whole film so if you don't find what they're saying funny the first time, prepare yourself to see the same joke play out many more times! In the end, I don't really know what to say anymore, because this film offers absolutely nothing new whatsoever even in the niche parody-horror department; just about every film they tried to make fun of has already been touched on. The actual funny moments are spread far too thin to make the film even in the mediocre, rental category. While this isn't the worst movie this tired genre has produced, it is by no means worth anyone's time except on the off chance you're a fan of one of the actors involved.

Notable Moment: When Father Doug arrives with emphasis on the scene of him showing off the "ladies" of his congregation.

Final Rating: 4/10