Terror Train Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Onboard a train with a New Year's Eve costume party, a killer seeks revenge against classmates that played a prank on him three years earlier.

Review: Even though Jamie Lee Curtis is arguably the most famous scream queen, she only starred in five horror films, in quick succession, before a long hiatus that lasted until the abysmal "H2O," in 1998, that I already discussed. Of those five, "Terror Train" is easily the most overlooked and underrated of the bunch. I think the problem was that "Prom Night" was released only months before this film so it was overshadowed; also, the motive of the killer in "Prom Night" was much better and surprising (one of the few times I didn't guess it). If you want to pull a Randy from "Scream" and rent them all VHS style, the other four are, of course, "Halloween" 1 and 2, "The Fog," and the aforementioned "Prom Night." What set this film apart from the rest was its creative setting aboard a train which provided for many possibilities that, with the accompaniment of New Year's Eve, the creators definitely capitalized on these ideas. The close quarters of the compartments, the cold, snowy night outside the windows, and the sense of no escape created a nice atmosphere that slashers usually ignore. The one major drawback is that this film follows the typical '80s slasher formula with some prank gone wrong and a masked killer seeking revenge years later (I believe this movie was one of the first to adopt this formula though). On New Year's Eve three years earlier, some stereotypical fraternity was following a tradition of forcing new pledges to get lucky. The ringleaders of the fraternity coaxed this kid named Kenny into believing the main character, Alana (Ms. Curtis), was going to be his "first." While Alana was apprehensive to help, her boyfriend, Mo, convinced her with the belief they would just scare him. Instead, Kenny finds himself about to make out with a cadaver driving him into some kind of nervous breakdown. In the present, the kids are now about to all graduate and decide to throw an elaborate costume party on a train since Alana has an interest in trains and Mo is rich and can afford it. Alright, this is one of the major bullshit moments of the movie because are we to believe that, not only did all these kids stay together over the years, but they were all in actuality freshmen during the opening segment?! How can you be the leader of a frat as a freshman? You'd be one of those pledges. At first I excused it because they claim to be medical students, but then later admit that they really were freshmen during that first scene. So...what the hell? Mo's best friend is nicknamed Doc and he's like the main douchebag responsible for everything, but for some reason there is some kind of gay undertone that is never explored more thoroughly; like Doc sabotages Mo's relationship more than once while telling Mo "you'll always have me." I had hoped more characters would appear suspicious, but for the most part you can tell certain people are not the killer as is the case with these two goofballs. Something you will notice immediately, or maybe it's just me, but there are a lot of '80s hot chicks! I'm sure I mentioned this before, but that's when someone looks like they'd be hot as hell back then, but wouldn't quite cut it by today's looks without a makeover. I mean, damn, even Vanity has a small role here looking sexy as hell. But, the show is completely stolen by David Copperfield in a rare acting appearance playing a mysterious magician. Not only does he channel his stage presence into the role, but he is the quintessential red herring that will probably have you convinced he's the killer for the first hour or so. I'm not sure who was cast first because they definitely wanted you to believe Kenny could have turned into Mr. Copperfield if he cleaned himself up a bit and with three years of change; there's even a point in which they look at the yearbook and see that Kenny once performed a magic show at school. If you watch enough horror movies, you'll realize when a slasher wants you to believe someone is the killer, they typically are not. People are slowly picked off as the killer jumps from disguise to disguise with only the conductor becoming suspicious. To be honest, I originally thought the conductor might be the killer as perhaps Kenny's dad or something, but they weren't going for that kind of surprise. As I said, the hot chicks catch your eye which definitely draws your attention to the ugly assistant to the magician who looks almost artificial and stands out in stark contrast. This is important because she is a he and is, in fact, Kenny in disguise. While it is an interesting reveal, it is kind of stupid because how did the magician not realize his assistant was a guy? To be fair, if I weren't so enthralled by the babes I might not have caught on so I'd imagine casual viewers will still be surprised. After some serious shenanigans and contrivances galore, Alana believes she kills Kenny by throwing him from the train only for him to catch back up to her. Right when he's about to kill her he suddenly flashes back to the original event three years ago and goes apeshit. The conductor takes the opportunity to really throw him off the train. With some final shots to show he's dead for sure this time, the film comes to an abrupt end with no real resolution. Did the writer just get to a point where he was like "aww fuck it, he dies, the end?" I think this lackluster ending also contributed to why this movie has faded into obscurity so much more than its peers. Overall, there are some great ideas implemented, the intrigue is good, and the killer is memorable. On the other hand, details needed to be polished up, the story could have been tightened to remove unresolved subplots that come off as filler, and more characters should have been presented as suspects; there was, at best, three or four contenders. Anyway, this one is definitely worth a view if you enjoy this style of slasher as this was one of the better entries from the '80s. I can't believe how few remember this film and even fewer have watched it.

Notable Moment: When the magician performs the first part of his act. What can I say, Mr. Copperfield is the ultimate showman.

Final Rating: 6.5/10