Plot Summary: A girl and her friends visit the girl's estranged aunt at a mysterious mansion only to encounter all manner of zany antics.
Review: This is not to be confused with that other horror movie named "House" from '86 or that show about a doctor. First off, wow! Second, this is one of those movies that is extremely difficult to explain and needs to be experienced to fully understand the hijinks involved. I've read many reviews that seem to think this film seems '80s-ish which is hard for me to fathom. Make no mistake, this is about as '70s as you can get with the colors, clothes, and the mindless oddity to the music. In fact, this is such a perfect example of the cliches and shenanigans that occurred often in '70s film making that it crosses into a self-mockery state of being. But to simply label this film as a byproduct of the '70s is not doing it enough justice as it has its own distinct style and the most unusual means of presenting said style.
While you may find yourself wondering fairly early on what the hell is going on, the story is much less complicated than it appears. Basically, a rich girl, named Angel, had plans to stay with her father for the summer while her friends planned to hang out with some teacher they like. But Angel learns that her father remarried while he was away on business and wants Angel to spend more time with the stepmother. Because Angel wants to be a baby about it, she concocts a plan to spend the summer with her aunt that she only met once. Coincidentally enough, Angel's teacher's plans fall through as well leaving the girls with nothing else to do but to join Angel in her visit to the aunt; the aunt lives in the middle of nowhere in a reclusive mansion. I should mention the seven girls refer to each other by an easy to remember nickname that semi-describes the personality of the character simultaneously. The crew consists of: Angel, Fantasy, Kung-fu, Professor, Melody, Mac, and Sweetie; Kung-Fu is my favorite but Fantasy is the best looking! When the girls arrive, they are, at first, in awe of the home and how casual the aunt appears to be until members of their crew begin to disappear. Apparently the house is "eating" them in a way and as such gradually restores the youth and strength of the aunt. With most of the girls dead, Professor figures out, through use of the aunt's diary, that she is a ghost of sorts stuck in the house waiting for her fiance to return back from WWII even though he's dead. Also, the main thing grounding her in reality is apparently some cat which Kung-Fu destroys a painting of the little kitty seemingly saving the day. But before the magic can be broken, Professor is eaten, somehow restoring the aunt's power and the kitty. Finally, with all the girls dead, the stepmother shows up looking for Angel only to stumble upon the aunt who now looks like Angel. The film ends implying that the stepmother will be eaten last.
While I may have simplified things quite a bit, few words can properly address the insanity of how these events unfold. Scenes jump all over the place with various shitty special effects or sometimes kind of innovative visuals. The means in which the girls die is by inanimate objects of the house devouring the girls mostly offscreen. For example, Melody is eaten by a piano which is especially memorable as well as Sweetie being eaten by pillows. Every opportunity to create impossibly ridiculous scenarios is exploited here as with Kung-Fu having her own mini-theme music as she fights, a guy turning into a pile of bananas, the stepmother perpetually having her hair blow in the wind, obvious and repeated painted murals for backgrounds, crazy jump cuts, and a sort of offbeat humor that you will either appreciate or it will go right over your head. Even saying all of that, I've hardly scratched the surface; whatever expectations you have going into this film will hardly prepare you for what you will see. Lastly, there is a certain degree of misplaced nudity that only further emphasizes that '70s vibe.
Ugh, what a mess...but in a kind of entertaining way. I really could not go into the detail I'd like because there's too much and each scene would require too much setup. You really need to just watch this for yourself. But at the same time, the acting is bad, nothing makes much sense, and when I say it embodies a lot of the '70s, I don't mean the good aspects! So, it's kind of hard for me to recommend this except as a one time shot just to see what all the fuss is about. I'll say this, whether you like it or not, you won't easily forget this film that's for sure!
Notable Moment: When Melody is eaten by the piano in one of the most ridiculous sequences ever put to film.
Final Rating: 5/10
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