Kowai Onna (aka Unholy Women) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Three separate tales involving those unfortunate enough to cross the path of crazy bitches.

Review: Oh no, my least favorite kind of woman: the unholy persuasion! Chances are, if you're an avid Asian horror fan, you have either watched or heard of the "Rattle Rattle" segment from this film; this segment has definitely made its round of the internet while the rest of the stories have fallen by the wayside. It doesn't help, for me at least, that there was never a proper English release for some strange reason. However, given "Rattle Rattle's" notoriety, plenty of people seem to upload it online and it's fairly easy to track down through youtube and other sites. So how does the film hold up in its entirety and is "Rattle Rattle" as good and scary as people make it out to be? Let's find out!

Rattle Rattle: To kick things off we are introduced to a young woman, named Kanako, being dropped off near her apartment by her boyfriend/fiance/sugar daddy. She is then suddenly struck by something as she later awakens and runs into a little girl. Somewhat unnerved by the situation, she goes home and tries to forget about it until she hears an ominous voice and her boyfriend calls her warning that his ex-wife tried to stab him and has run off. Kanako notices a disturbing-looking woman, dressed in red, has broken into her apartment and is wielding a knife. Kanako manages to fend the woman off and flee her apartment only to discover an empty city with the exception of the woman in red roaming about--becoming more hideous and demonic with each encounter. This mysterious woman also appears to possess supernatural powers and gives off a rattling noise when she is close. Kanako sees individuals dressed in black, but they remain cold to her pleas for help. Eventually, Kanako is led by the little girl to an apartment where she throws herself out a window only to awaken at a hospital. Kanako learns a woman committed suicide and landed on her yet she, as Kanako claims, miraculously survived. Kanako believes this incident was a dream spawned by her anxiety regarding the boyfriend's ex-wife mixed with various emotions after realizing the little girl had lived close by to her and died; she also believes the woman who committed suicide may have been the mother of the little girl. When everything appears to be over, Kanako discovers that the little girl's mother was not the woman in red and she is baffled by who could the suicide jumper that hit her be. She suddenly comes across the woman in red who transforms into some kind of demon and you realize Kanako, in fact, was the one that landed on herself. Yeah, that makes total sense. I guess a paradoxical, demon time loop, that doesn't even fit the correct time of day, is a good way to close out an otherwise cool movie, right? There are quite a few fans out there that believe this is one of the scariest Asian horror movies out there, but, while I can see why they were so unsettled, I must humbly disagree. The woman in red looks cool and does become decently scary throughout the segment with commendable makeup effects, but the senselessness of the plotline hurts the overall experience. I don't mind that we never learn who or what the woman in red was, but the paradox is dumb, predictable, and, like I said, doesn't even fit the established story since Kanako was struck at night yet we clearly see it's daytime. It's a good effort, the best of the three tales, but does not live up to the hype.

Hagane: I hardly know how to explain this segment since this may be one of the weirdest stories known to film--only in Japan is all I can say! Mikio is a young guy working at an auto shop when he is asked by his boss to take his sister out on a date to which Mikio complies. When Mikio arrives at the dilapidated home of his boss, he sees the sister, Hagane, covered in a sack from the waist up and being pumped with an unidentified liquid; she later starts to sow feverishly as Mikio takes in the unusual visage. The boss implores Hagane to get ready for the date, but when she emerges from the house she is still wearing the sack over her upper torso but has on a short skirt below. Being the overly polite little bitch boy Mikio is, he is unable to properly express his concern over the bizarre nature of the situation and simply goes along with everything. Hagane does not speak, has a cricket crawl out of her skirt, and is an all around pain in the ass. After trying to make sense of the situation and amuse Hagane, they somehow find themselves close to having sex only for Mikio to be horrified by, what appears to be, entrails spilling out from under the sack as he tries to get a peek underneath. Noticing Mikio's hesitation, Hagane goes apeshit and smashes everything before running home. Later, it is revealed that Hagane is smitten with Mikio who rightfully quits the job and avoids the weirdos at all cost. We see a shot of the boss bathing Hagane who, in case you hadn't noticed, isn't exactly human. Unfortunately for Mikio, he is attacked by Hagane as she shoots darts at him in which he retaliates by beating her bitch ass. Hagane unleashes knives from within her sack that slash Mikio further pissing him off as he drops a rock on her and hits her repeatedly with a pipe. Well, at least he had sense enough to kill this monstrosity even if he's a bitch boy...no use waiting around all day for Sam and Dean to take care of her. For some reason Mikio still lingers outside all day as he sees Hagane limping along and throws her off a cliff. Hagane still isn't fucking dead and comes after Mikio who cowers in a corner as Hagane cries. Hagane then opens the sack and allows Mikio to look inside, but he is attacked by whatever and manages to pull himself free as he is now covered in scratches. Hagane then crawls at Mikio and absorbs or eats Mikio, because he's too stupid to keep fighting. The boss finds Hagane, collects her, and burns Mikio's belongings. The film ends with Hagane prancing around like a nutcase sometime later. Trust me, words cannot express the oddity that is this little film. We never get a look under the sack to see Hagane for ourselves, but since Hagane appears to mean "steel" we can assume she was some kind of robot or android; maybe she's an alien or just some kind of monstrosity from the lowest levels of hell. I'll give this segment major credit for being original, playing on the unknown, and simply running with the weirdness for all it's worth. Prepare for a big "what the fuck" by the end.

The Inheritance: With an infamously scary opening and a weirdo second act, you'd think the final story would somehow stand on its own, right? Wrong. Inheritance my ass. I don't even understand what the hell is going on here and it's really boring and not scary. They should have structured the segments with "Rattle Rattle" first, then this one, and saved "Hagane" for last. That would perfectly set the tone for this film--open scary, follow up with the weakest tale, then close out with the audience left thinking about the movie with "Hagane's" shenanigans. The plot this time is that a mother and her son are moving in with the grandma after a divorce. Don't worry about that plotline, because it becomes a red herring as to what is going on. The mom and the son start off with a good relationship until the mom finds some magically stupid scroll in a shed and is possessed or some shit. There is more unnecessary drama as the possessed mom is dating a social worker who serves no relevance to the plot even though he should. Later, the mom locks the son in the shed where he makes contact with the spirit of his uncle, who died when he was the son's age, since his grandma also was possessed by this scroll. The grandma frees the son who appears to be killed by the mom anyway. The movie ends with the audience seeing that the scroll depicts a mother holding her dead son in her arms as we realize this process was repeated twice as far as we know. Eh, nothing makes sense, everything feels pointless, and I was very unimpressed. The main reason why the rating is not higher for this bad boy is due to the huge weakness that is this segment.

In the end, there is this interesting "Twilight Zone" feel to the stories which is a good thing. Even though "The Inheritance" sucked, the other two tales still make this a worthwhile film to seek out. The acting is pretty good, the ideas are original, and they made decent use of a small budget. On the other hand, the three stories collectively make little sense and require the audience to draw all the conclusions which may or may not be a good thing. I originally watched this film out of order, starting with "Hagane," and spread out over a year or two so I don't think it's important to watch them as presented and may make for a better experience if you chose not to. Either way, this is a decent film with cool ideas well worth your time and it's free.

Notable Moment: I think I might have to declare the entire "Hagane" segment under this category, because the level of weird is off the fucking charts.

Final Rating: 6/10