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Saturday, June 7, 2014

ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2 Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: The masked killer, ChromeSkull, is magically alive as he and his flunkies kill more imbeciles.

Review: I know after the unbelievable levels of incompetence with the first one you may expect this movie to be worse, but it's a little better. Now, I'm not saying this was good by any means just that it is better than the first movie by a decent measure. They did manage to give the story more focus, but there are still shenanigans out the ass and plenty of stupidity to go around. I'm really trying to wrap my mind around these two stupid movies and how on earth they were made. The best thing I can compare them to is the outlandish stories my friend's little brother used to write when he was like 12. Surely I've mentioned this kid before, right?

First off, the gore is still good...maybe even a little better. They also added my dear Danielle Harris in a cameo but she does almost nothing, and that is pretty much the only things going for this film so let's move on. If you actually decided to put your brain in a blender and watch the first film, you would have witnessed ChromeSkull clearly die. Well, he's brought back to life through nothing short of movie magic. Apparently he has a whole team of flunkies working for him that come to his rescue. At first I thought this might be cool with the implication ChromeSkull was just one of many killers or he was working for an organization but nope. They never tell you where he gets all this money or how he finds people willing to assist him in killing considering most of them seem normal enough. I think I'm going to have to call pure bullshit on the entire setup. ChromeSkull's main flunky finally does what needed to be done in the first place which is killing the dumb bitch from the first movie who has been replaced with a new actress; this was especially puzzling since the original actress was the director's wife. What, he couldn't convince her to come back? That should tell you something!

We skip ahead 3 months to establish ChromeSkull's recovery, but the movie appears to forget this fact often. If you actually liked ChromeSkull as a character, for whatever reason, he doesn't do much here and he's even more idiotic than in part one; his main flunky is seriously smarter than him. There is also lameness with the main flunky wanting to be ChromeSkull, but I think they wanted this to be an epic showdown that failed miserably. For some reason, they make a big deal out of some chick who's going blind which really begs the question of how ChromeSkull selects his victims as there appears to be no discernible motivation. Also, that blindness does not come into play for shit, but was that meant to be a form of character development?! And again, ChromeSkull won't just fucking kill the girl! The police eventually figure out what's going on, but they are probably more retarded than you would imagine in how they handle the situation. Besides deliberately putting themselves in situations to get killed, the ending scene is laughable when "reinforcements" show up and it's like 5 or 6 cops. Are you fucking kidding me? A known serial killer...with accomplices...known to have already killed detectives...and you only send in a handful of guys?! The whole goddamn state and swat would be there! I'm not even going to acknowledge how they didn't secure the outside or anything like that, because clearly the writer/director has no fucking clue to begin with. The FBI shows up too (again with like 5 guys) once you think ChromeSkull is dead, and the main agent is played by the brother in law from the last movie pointlessly. Big shock, Chromeskull is still alive but thankfully it is Halloween, or something all of a sudden, and he can blend in with someone conveniently wearing his mask in gold right there! Pft, come the fuck on for realzies! Then there's a scene at the end of the credits with ChromeSkull's pregnant wife who doesn't know who he is, and she kills herself when she finds out. Umm...okay?

Ugh. I love horror movies, but this genre seriously contains some of the dumbest movies in existence. I can't believe a few of the bigger horror websites gave this shit a 9/10 while still claiming part one was better. So wait, that would make the first movie 9.5 or 10/10 material?! Ahhhhhhhh!!! Well, let's be real, they're probably paid to push these shitty movies. Overall, this is basically more of the same from part one except slightly less stupid and aided by the minor appearance of my darling Ms. Harris. If you liked part one chances are you will like this one more due to the improvements.

Notable Moment: When the one cop is killed by the spring-loaded blade. What the hell that weapon was so badass, and the movie suddenly forget it exists after wasting a scene to establish it?!

Final Rating: 4.5/10

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