What's the Matter with Helen? Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Two mothers of killers try to start a new life together as antics ensue.

Review: Once again, what the fuck did I just watch? I get the feeling I'm going to be saying that line a lot throughout this movie marathon. Besides not making any sense, this movie completely blew its payoff by putting it on the poster. How do you commit a blunder that huge when that's pretty much the only noteworthy scene in the entirety of the film?! Even though this movie was made in '71, it's set in the '30s and definitely feels as boring as films from that era. The main reason I rarely touch on films this old (and older) is because they're all talk and no show for the most part (obviously there are plenty of exceptions). After all, these are called motion pictures for a reason. Enough of the yapping and do something. Alternatively, if you're going to have a movie comprised of nothing but character banter, it needs to have chemistry like Abbot and Costello. What's the matter with Helen? Hell if I know. She's crazy...but wouldn't that be anyone's assumption from the onset? No surprise twist there.

In a nutshell, two women, named Adelle and Helen, decide to start new lives with new identities after their sons are convicted of murder or whatever. Honestly, we hardly learn anything regarding this entire plot device which you'd think would be important or link to a twist--ANYTHING! Adelle opens up some dance school for wannabe Shirley Temples as Helen wants to be her lesbian lover. If you think there is going to be serious shenanigans going on with those two getting together, well, there's nothing like that present although scenes were cut in this regard. When Adelle finds some rich dude to hook up with, this appears to start Helen on a spiral into insanity as she cannot cope with losing Adelle. Believe me, none of this is as straightforward as you'd imagine as you'll need to draw your own inferences. The film tries to introduce pointless red herrings as if we will ignore Helen going crazy and the damn title of the movie itself. The most idiotic of the red herrings is a stalker that wants to kill the ladies. Again, I thought this would be an important plot aspect but all that happens is Helen accidentally kills the dude without even realizing he was that specific stalker. Oh man, you finally give a kill and the alleged crazy person didn't even kill them intentionally?! Yeah, sure, makes perfect sense. Blah blah blah Adelle plans to marry the rich dude which sets Helen off permanently as she kills Adelle and props her up, as you see on the poster, for the final shot. And really, that's all there is to it.

There are like fifty more subplots I'm ignoring, but they surprisingly contribute absolutely nothing to the main story arc. I've honestly never seen anything quite like this. The structure of the narrative is similar to a mystery yet we already know the conclusion up front. All the background bullshit serves no purpose except to steer the audience down a path where they expect a much larger payoff. You could argue the strongest point of the film was to demonstrate how Helen was a repressed lesbian, probably driven crazy due to her overly religious nature, but meh. There are just sooooo many unanswered questions that I would say are pretty damn necessary to fully grasping the film. Why did the ladies' sons become murderers? They imply a connection to Helen murdering her husband but okay. Speaking of which, why did Helen murder her husband out of the blue in front of her son? Did something set her off? Why does Helen have flashbacks to her son's murdering of a girl? Did she participate? So the stalker was just a guy that wanted revenge...then why was he going about it in the most roundabout way possible? Seriously, what the hell was the point of that acting coach guy? Did he die? His disappears from the film altogether at the last second. Why was there a little person out of the blue? My god there were too many weird details for no apparent reason. It's like the twist of the film should have been Helen wakes up stoned out of her mind in an opium den. And don't get me started on all the contrivances.

This film could have been so much more. I understand that scenes were deleted and such, but this is not how you show us a character descending into madness. There was nothing visceral or surreal about the transition. Helen simply flies off the handle quickly, with little buildup, and virtually no true motive. We get more time spent on Adelle's love life and those creepy Shirley Temple rejects than anything. There were a few moments I thought we'd get something deep like when Helen is staring into a fan and feels compelled to stick her hand into it all the while seeing visions of the girl her son murdered. Why weren't there other scenes like this? Eh, I'm sure others can appreciate this film more than I since I have little patience for this kind of drama. Hell, I think I would have even liked the film more if they didn't ruin the ending so blatantly.

Notable Moment: When Adelle mentions Helen "bitched" something up. That's a good one...I'm going to have to use that from now on out.

Final Rating: 5.5/10