Santa's Slay Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After a thousand years of bringing Christmas joy, Santa is free to do what he originally intended: to wreak murderous havoc.

Review: Christmas may be over, but when has a little thing like that stopped me? I had heard good things about this film, and it did start off cool, but this feels like a family movie or something. Yeah, sure, maybe there is nudity and gory deaths, but it still felt as if it was made for the Hallmark Channel! Maybe it's the cinematography, or the characters, or the ridiculous setup, but I can't help but imagine the few R-rated elements edited out and this is ready to go for the kiddies. I'm sure others will overlook this aspect, but it was killing the experience for me.

The story is that Santa is really the son of Satan and used to kill people and cause chaos at Christmas time. Then, a thousand years ago, an angel challenged Santa to a curling match in which the angel won. The conditions of this defeat meant that Santa had to spread joy to the world at Christmas time. In the present day, the conditions have worn off, and Santa is free to kill all the people that had been annoying him in recent Christmas memory. This leads to Santa coming to a town unbelievably called "Hell." In Hell, Santa wants to kill the angel who defeated him the millennium ago now that said angel has turned human. By the way, Santa is played by the wrestler, Goldberg, and the other characters are super annoying when I believe they were meant to be funny.

Hijinks ensue around town as Santa kills a bunch of people, and pursues the angel and his grandson. After seemingly killing the angel, Santa tries to kill the grandson and his girlfriend for whatever reason. There are a few moments when you think the film is about to end, but then it continues onward as if forcing that running time to the 90 minute mark (which it didn't meet). The angel manages to come back to save the grandson and claims that Santa will be vulnerable when Christmas is over. Out of the blue, a bunch of people try to shoot Santa as he flees, and the girlfriend's dad appears to use a bazooka on Santa. Yeah, they went there. Santa manages to survive, of course, and they make a big deal about him traveling back to the North Pole as if this is funny.

Eh, I guess I can understand someone thinking this movie is humorous. I felt like it overstays its welcome more than once, and the jokes were too tame given that this is a film with nudity. The kills were decent, and I can appreciate certain aspects that were over the top. The little claymation part was amusing but only added to the notion that this would have worked better as a light horror for kids. Overall, this was simply average--it didn't live up to the applause other reviews I read gave it, but it wasn't a complete waste. However, there are certainly better films to seek out this holiday that's for sure.

Notable Moment: The opening killing spree. If only this film could have maintained that level of over the top humor.

Final Rating: 5/10