Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A romantic comedy about an average, quirky, 30 something, strong, independent, single mom being proposed to by two men vying for her affection...but which will she choose?! Oh wait, no, it's about a cursed tape that kills your candy ass seven days after watching it.
Review: Now we come to my favorite, and the best, entry in this whole franchise. I know, to a lot of Asian horror fans, that preferring this remake to the original is tantamount to heresy but fuck 'em; they're probably the same idiots voting "Jaws in Japan" an 8/10! Other than personal preference toward the story, there is no reasonable argument to make against this remake surpassing the original in literally all technical aspects. Then, when we compare the stories, this entry has been streamlined yet still manages to focus and expand upon the best plot points of the original. This remake does not cheapen the original nor try to merely cash-in as pieces of shit like the "Shutter" remake did. I don't understand how any Asian horror fan can make that kind of association. In fact, I don't hear these purists whining about how the "original" is actually a remake too. Plus, why no crying about the Korean remake? Now, did this film open the floodgate for too many shitty remakes? Yes, but that was never the intention. Finally, preferring this entry does not take away from "Ring's" importance or greatness. Everyone knows it's the biggest J-horror legend and Sadako does exemplify the quintessential ghost girl to people who never even saw the movie. I would say "Ring's" impact and legacy are well intact so relax.
BAM!
So before I delve in, I like to tell my story regarding my first experience watching this film. I was sleeping over my best friend's house, who had many siblings, when his sister came home from seeing "The Ring." She was noticeably shaken and kept saying how scary the movie was and how it got into her head. We thought she was dicking around, but, when she declared it was the scariest movie she'd ever seen, we HAD to see it for ourselves! My best friend and I gathered up his brothers, and we headed straight to the movie theater for a little midnight showing. At this point, I had only heard of "The Ring" in passing from a commercial. I didn't know anything about it except I thought it starred Jewel, the singer (come the fuck on, Ryan!); I obviously mistook Naomi Watts for Jewel. Anyway, the moment the movie began, I was instantly intrigued by the notion of a killer VHS tape, but when I first saw Katie's dead body, I knew this movie was going to be creepy. Oh god, I still remember my friend's brothers getting that look on their faces like they were in waaaaay over their heads. Sure enough, they were closing and covering their eyes and looking down during scary parts (light weights). I'll admit, I jumped, I think, three times which is impressive; those times being: when you see Katie's body, Samara grabbing Rachel in the well, and when Samara teleports toward Noah. I remember there was some guy trying to act tough toward the end of the movie, yelling at the screen, and when they did that fast montage of the cursed tape, that little bitch ran out of the theater. Speaking of which, A LOT of people (mostly teens on date night or whatever) ran, screaming, out of the theater at various points of the film. I'll never forget it--my mom had always mentioned people running out during "The Exorcist," and I couldn't imagine it until I saw it for myself. When the film was over, I was definitely freaked out, but my friend's brothers looked as though they were about to piss themselves! When we got home, the brothers were on edge and, humorously, wanted to all sleep near me and my best friend. There was also a point when someone had put on the TV without anyone realizing it, and the brothers almost lost their shit right there. The next day I immediately told my sister about the experience and then we went to see it again. She was so scared that we had to take our parents to see it...so I ended up watching the film 3 times in a row. Even though "Shutter" is the scariest movie I've ever seen, nothing compares to this unforgettable experience watching "The Ring." I absolutely love it!
Gotcha, bitch!
Okay, on with this review for realzies. At this point, I've explained this plot line endlessly, so I'll address the changes first. Besides being localized to the USA, which includes all new character names and settings, the cursed tape is longer with more disturbing imagery--something akin to a snuff film. The Sadako equivalent, Samara, has been made a little girl permanently which disregards all the shenanigans with her being an actress, hermaphrodite, and the desire to reproduce. Samara is also more blatantly evil with ambiguous origins despite what stupid "The Ring Two" claims. Along with this, the mom is no longer a failed psychic and Samara appears to be significantly more powerful than her other incarnations; she performs more feats than the others as well as the ability to affect many people simultaneously. There is no crazy doctor character and the mom is the one that kills Samara instead of a half-brother (who is also removed). Other than that, the remaining changes are more nuanced and connect toward the ways the story has been enhanced and focused. I know this can appear as a huge departure to some, but shouldn't the goal of a remake be to do something different while not alienating the original audience?
As for our dear girl, I prefer Samara to Sadako. A hermaphroditic, psychic actress killed by her horny half-brother which creates a sci-fi virus when combined with small pox feels beyond ridiculous. I mean, really, reread that sentence! While Samara is more simplistic than Sadako, mostly being nothing more than an evil little girl, they left room to explore with her; they kept her motivations and thoughts deliberately vague. Maybe she could have been good, maybe not, but she was betrayed by her own mother who left her for dead at the bottom of a well. Her bitterness feels almost sympathetic if it weren't for her desire for vengeance and to make others experience her suffering. Daveigh Chase does a great job with the performance and nails that creepy as fuck vibe perfectly. It also helped that her makeup effects were genuinely frightening especially when comparing each incarnation of Sadako. Finally, Samara is more central to the plot and active than Sadako ever was. It's hard to explain, but "The Ring" makes Samara's spirit feel more restless than Sadako by stressing the "she never sleeps" angle.
The rest of the cast turn in solid performances especially Ms. Watts who looks as though she was in the running for milf of the year. I will admit, the Aidan character being creepy and somehow having psychic-like powers himself was weak, but he's not that important to the plot; all I can ever think of when I see that kid is "let me in, grandma!" anyway. The secondary characters help add a bit of realism as they have unusual quirks that only the Korean version wisely included. Beyond that, the drama and relationships feel more relevant and substantial compared to the Reiko and Ryuji versions who didn't seem to give a fuck. Oddly enough, the only other caring parent was the original Asakawa who has been cut from all versions but "Ring: Kanzenban."
The last thing I'll go over are the random improvements that just add up to a better and well-rounded experience. One huge aspect most entries did not touch on was the dual nature of what the ring actually represents. Sure, it's a cycle similar to a chain letter that keeps spreading, but this is the only entry that beats in the idea that the well is another kind of ring. And, come on, don't even tell me you don't love that tagline: before you die, you see the ring?! Marketing brilliance right there. Obviously I thought the dead bodies of Samara's victims look way better than the other counterparts. Although the soundtrack to the cursed tape in "The Ring Virus" was a little corny, this film found a better balance by tossing in a kind of metal churning noise when the tape plays. As such, the usage of TVs, their connection to Samara, and her ability to psychically create images have more emphasis; though it would have been nice to include the blinking within the tape, I get that they were going more with the images coming from Samara's mind rather than memory. The notion of the seven days also worked a lot better here and with Samara personally calling you to deliver the bad news. Man, everything just works!
Overall, this is one of the scariest movies out there and was the best to me for years. The amount of imitators that were produced as a reaction stand as a testament to this film's impact and success. Great scares, surprising twists, and wonderful acting--this film gives you it all and so much more. The tape and Samara are iconic and stay with you long after the credits have finished rolling. There is nothing but praise I can offer toward this movie. The only real problems are the dated nature of VHS and maybe a slight annoyance with Aidan. If you haven't watched this yet, I recommend it incredibly high above most others as it's still probably my second favorite horror movie. Just don't listen to the naysayers who want to act tough like they weren't scared or the pretentious purists who would outlandishly claim the likes of "The Doll Master" as classics.
Before you die, you see this lovely, not even a mother could love, face!
Notable Moment: When Samara comes out of the TV. Aww, that little, soggy, bundle of joy!
Final Rating: 9.5/10
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