Dolly Dearest Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A family moves to Mexico to set up a toy factory when an evil presence possesses the dolls.

Review: You know the drill: the early '90s + horror = absolute shit. Okay, that may not be a universal constant, but it is true in this circumstance. This is a shameless Chucky ripoff, as you'd probably guess, that didn't really offer up anything except a gender swap. In fact, Dolly, as she's referred to as, isn't technically even a female. She's supposed to be a demonic force that can take on whatever form and split its consciousness magically. Truthfully, it's best not to think too deeply about what's going on with this movie's plot as it will just annoy you. While the film contains the cheap thrills you would expect from a blatant ripoff, it completely loses itself toward the last 10 minutes leaving you in a state of perpetual groans.

So what the hell is going on in this story? Some guy drags his family into the worst business venture I could imagine: moving to Mexico to open up a toy factory that will produce horrific looking dolls by hand. I'm not going to pretend as if I'm an expert on business practices, but, if you see this guy's factory and couple it with the reality of conglomerates, you would realize this guy is a complete idiot. No one would buy these ugly dolls nor does this guy have any means of mass production or shipping. I could spend hours explaining the incompetence of this scheme, but, suffice it to say, this is a total fail from the beginning. Moving along...the toy factory just happens to be next to an excavation site for a nonexistent tribe of indigenous satanists. Really? You're going with that? Well, okay. Apparently this tribe created a devil child abomination...because reasons...and they entombed it at this excavation. An archaeologist frees this evil spirit that somehow divides itself amongst the handful of dolls at the factory.

You may think the dolls have a plan to spread their evil throughout the world with the manufacturing of more dolls, but this evil being is another fucking moron. Instead, the game plan is to possess a little girl, kill the people at this factory, and run around, screaming, all the damn time. Okay, that is admittedly more amusing--keep up the good work little dollies. Speaking of which, there are funny moments where the film was at least, partially, self-aware; for example, when the little boy uses a shotgun to blow away the main Dolly. The way all of these shenanigans come to an end is by--get this--pulling cliche dynamite sticks out of their ass and blowing up all the dolls and factory. Whaaaaat? Isn't this thing a supernatural force that isn't even physical? Fuck it--Looney Tunes logic trumps all--roll credits! I'm not joking either...the moment the factory blows up the credits start rolling; there is absolutely no resolution. Let's hope the dad was lying when he said all their money was tied up in the factory...

Oh goodness gracious. This movie is terrible through and through. It's significantly more fun to think about all the stupid things that happened than to actually sit there watching them. If you love lame Chucky wannabes, this movie may be for you, but, other than that, I'd stay far away from this mess. The one, genuinely positive thing I can say is that there is a clear difference between rental era shit of the past and the absolute shit-show of rental trash now. "Dolly Dearest" is certainly dumb as fuck, but they were trying. Most of the rental movies now are a disgrace to film itself and get by on a cool-looking poster. Take that however you wish to interpret.

Notable Moment: When the janitor, or whatever he was, talks to one of the dolls and says something like "don't go anywhere," and the doll rolls its eyes. If only there were more entertaining moments such as this.

Final Rating: 4/10