Star Wars: The Force Awakens Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Thirty years after the Galactic Empire was defeated, a new band of heroes must fight to save the galaxy.

Review: If you are an ADHD, everything is a 1 or 10, kind of "fan" then the short and sweet of my review is: this film is good but not great--a fun, yet, generic excursion back to that galaxy far, far away. "The Force Awakens" is heavily flawed but manages to be better than Episode I and II, slightly worse than Episode III, and nowhere in hell close to the original trilogy. If you are not seeing red after these statements, then continue reading! In one respect, the, so-called, trolls are going overboard, exaggerating the worst parts or simply angry that this has been successful. On the other hand, the mindless drones singing the praises of this film are the reason why mediocrity continues to be more profitable than substance. I'm wondering, have they dropped the "Episode VII" moniker altogether? It's not on the posters, wikipedia, imdb, etc. If they have dropped calling this the seventh film, that makes me feel better as this is more of a remake than a true continuation of the saga. The one thing that does make my blood boil, however, is knowing how hard Disney intends to milk this beloved franchise. Can't wait for "Yoda: The Padawan Years" to hit theaters.

The Good: Don't get me wrong, there is more good in this film than bad, but so much of that can be attributed to the natural magic of Star Wars and not necessarily anything unique to "The Force Awakens." Don't we all love to see lightsabers, the force, weird aliens, the Millennium Falcon, etc.? That sensation when John Williams' score blasts, and you're seeing a new, opening credit scrawl for the first time is exhilarating. Just to see further adventures in this universe is a thrill unto itself. Beyond the natural fun-factor, the tone is captured reasonably well. Jar Jar Abrams' involvement certainly worried me with talk of flashbacks and ridiculous camera angles Lucas would have never used. But those concerns were alleviated as the cinematography was in a vein similar enough to Lucas; likewise, the flashback(s) was done reasonably well. The new characters are presented better than I expected with the exception of two that I will go into later. The dynamics between these characters were amusing, and their mashups with the original cast members were handled well enough. There was clearly an attempt to ignore anything prequel related, and, in a way, I think that helped keep things simple and to the point. The usage of, predominantly, practical effects was a wonderful return to form I've been missing. I don't know how else to explain the positives since the production value is high, and we all knew a SW movie was going to look and sound awesome.

The Bad: Fair warning, my thoughts may or may not be coherent from here on out. First and foremost, this is a glorified reboot without having to actually go through the trouble of remaking the series. The main plot line and events parallel the original trilogy far too closely. But this is also done in an annoying manner where it's like Jar Jar Abrams is winking at the audience--as if he's constantly saying, "Hey, remember when that happened? Or what about that? Remember how cool that was?" More so, every character in this movie is simply an equivalent from the original trilogy. I mean, come on, they even had a Yoda-esque character dishing out cryptic words of wisdom. Likewise, just because you replace R2 with a new droid doesn't change the fact that he's the same exact character with the same damn plot line from episode IV. I almost force choked someone when I found out they needed to destroy ANOTHER Death Star! Don't let the idiotic name change fool you. Is the third time the charm? Nope...it's blown up in almost the same exact fucking way! I found it insulting that they made another cantina scene except this lacked any heart, imagination, or originality that was contained in the original. As people have been screaming from the rooftops, yes, Han dies in the most lackluster manner, unfitting for such a cherished character; the setup to the scene was done decently though. How did Poe survive and get off Jakku? Speaking of which, if you want to give us Tatooine, just give us Tatooine. I love how hyped Phasma was in promotions yet she's nothing more than a shit version of Boba Fett who did even less and appeared to die. Yet another utterly pointless addition that I bet will come back to life as miraculously as Poe did. How did the Yoda-wannabe get Anakin's lightsaber that Luke lost at Cloud City? Can't wait to hear that contrivance. Why did you name the emperor-wannabe something as dumb as Snoke? Not even Darth Snoke? This guy better have one helluva backstory to explain why he's a legitimate dark side user yet remained completely absent in the original trilogy.

More Bad: Sometimes it felt as though they learned nothing from the prequels' mistakes. As such, you get plot lines like R2 losing the will to live like Padme or some shit. And, sure, he's not dead but he's in a depressed coma which is retarded since he's a droid! Seriously, who thought not having Luke in the movie was a smart move? He pops up for the last 30 seconds of the movie and literally has no lines! Why is he in hiding anyway? His pupils died and now he's become emo? I'm not buying it. It comes off as a lame attempt to turn Luke into a cross between Obi-Wan and Yoda as he will probably end up dying in the next movie or two after guiding Rey. Why is there a group called the Resistance to begin with if the New Republic has established control again? What are they even resisting? Technically, it's the First Order that's resisting republic control, right? I know I'm not the only one who thought there was more romance between Finn and Poe than Finn and Rey. I don't even mind that they say Finn could wield a lightsaber due to Stormtrooper training, but how are you then going to say Finn was simply a janitor on the Death Star 3?! Is he a skilled fighter or not? There was just something missing with the final battle...it was shallow somehow. It's like, oh shit, a new Death Star let's swoop in and destroy it no problem. It felt more like policing than defeating a major threat to the galaxy.

And the Ugly: Let the hate flow through you! Rey and Kylo Ren are the two worst things about this movie. Rey is too powerful for the first entry, and they are trying so hard to pander by making her this tough. I mean, she doesn't need saving while everyone else does, is a master mechanic and pilot, can master force powers the moment she learns the force is real, and, worst of all, defeats Kylo Ren in their first encounter! Hey, Jar Jar Abrams, I think you forgot to put her in heels while doing it too. Sure, it's hinted Rey was trained by Luke as a kid, but how much lightsaber training would a little kid have experienced? Apparently more than enough to take on a sith equivalent who has been steadily training. How is Kylo supposed to be a threat if he's already beaten? How is Rey supposed to grow if she's starting out at Jedi Master levels? This is shit writing at its finest. The original rumor I heard would have been infinitely better. Finn fights Kylo and seemingly dies, Rey gets a rage boost and hurts Kylo--causing him to kick her ass, then, right before dying, Luke saves them by schooling Kylo. That would have worked from a story perspective so much better in developing Rey, Finn, and even Kylo as he would realize he's no match for Luke. By the way, this would have given Luke an actual role in this movie as well as an epic intro deserved of Luke. As for Kylo himself, he's such a whiny little bitch like prequel Anakin except with, admittedly, better acting. Why, oh why, did they not keep his mask on all film long? He looks like an even bigger bitch when he's not wearing that Darth Revan-wannabe mask. Plus, you take the time to establish how strong Kylo is with the opening battle yet make him appear pathetic by film's end? The handling of Darth Maul's fate was a complete debacle, but that is how you properly present a villain as a challenge for your heroes.

This might have been my hardest review to ever write as there was a lot to digest while I don't want to go off on endless tangents. If you're wondering why my rating is kind of high for a movie I've mostly listed negatives toward, it's because the basic story principles behind Star Wars are so great that their incorporation alone is noteworthy. I'm also more harsh and critical, because I adore this franchise, its mythos, and its characters and hate to see them casually mishandled in this manner. The experience is shallow and uninspired, but the film is more than capable of providing casual entertainment and enjoyment. With all things considered, I did enjoy "The Force Awakens" mostly because it was Star Wars, however, I cannot deny the tremendous levels of disappointment. This isn't to say there aren't plenty of good ideas, because they are there, and the production value is certainly topnotch. Realistically, this movie was not made for fans similar to me. It was produced to appeal to the widest audience possible, in the most consumable format possible, while completely catering to the current whims and tropes of film making rather than trying to become timeless like its predecessors. Even the dialogue is written in a modern format that will not hold up in the long term. Love it or hate it, this movie will not stand the test of time no matter what you think. The original trilogy played upon age-old archetypes that resonate with people no matter the era or society. This is the sugarcoated, popcorn flick version of those archetypes mixed with flavor of the moment story ideas.

Notable Moment: I'm not going to lie, seeing Admiral Ackbar again was amazing. But, come on, all these stupid winks and no fan service with an "it's a trap" reference?!

Final Rating: 6.5/10