Ramblings of Ryan Volume 7

Typically I have a lot to discuss with these rambles, but there is just one topic this time around--something so ridiculous it needs to be discussed all by its lonesome. It would appear Japan has decided the time has come to create "Sadako vs. Kayako" the movie!!! Oh man...that's a good one! Is this going to be serious? Will they follow the "Freddy vs. Jason" formula and have it be half parody? Japan, are you really going there? How the hell will this even make sense? Sadako and Kayako are both ghosts already...they can't die. Scratch that, Kayako was reborn in "Ju-on: The Grudge 2" so what the hell?! This leads me to the problem of which continuity do they use. Do they use the original "Ring" franchise or this "Sadako 3D" bullshit? Do they follow "Ju-on: The Grudge," "Ju-on: the Curse" or the dumbass reboot series? I still need to get around to watching "Ju-on: The Final" by the way.

I've already said before I prefer Kayako to Sadako, because she looks scarier and the "Grudge" franchise has consistently better movies. However, I highly doubt we will see the triumphant return of Takako Fuji reprising her role as Kayako. Sadako can be played by any chickadee in a wig at this point, but maybe they will handle the character with more grace compared to the lackluster "Sadako 3D" movies. Japan has more reverence for Sadako so I suspect she will gain the upper hand. Likewise, Sadako had powers in life and simply grew stronger in death. Kayako is essentially just a regular woman--albeit, a pissed off, evil spirit that can seemingly time travel--but a normal woman nonetheless. This may be interesting after all depending on how creative they get.

I think I can picture the plot already: a new family moves into the Saeki house. A schoolgirl character is mandatory so the family has a daughter who winds up watching Sadako's tape as a prank with her new schoolmates. I'm not sure how to work it in, but there needs to be some nurses involved one way or another. MUST HAVE nurses and schoolgirls! After being haunted by Kayako for a time, Sadako comes to collect her victims after 7 days but Kayako isn't having it. The two then get into a DBZ level fight that takes them to the top of Tokyo Tower since all epic showdowns must end up there. Okay, seriously, how the fuck is this supposed to work? They just do a catfight? Pulling one another's overly long hair no doubt. Realistically, is there a feasible way to kill either of these two for good? Maybe the schoolgirl and a helpful nurse friend manage to trap Kayako in the well and have Sadako forced to change Toshio's diapers forever. The end. Oh wait, fuck...gotta have a final zinger. I got it! The final scene can have the schoolgirl's cellphone ringing with the "One Missed Call" ringtone. Then "Sadako vs. Kayako vs. Mimiko" flashes up on the screen. Bam! Done. Give me my writing credit. The only thing left to say is...how do we get Natre involved in this action...

Here's the trailer by the way...it doesn't show much though. Not sure if this is from the actual production company or not, but this looks to be official.