The Notebook (2004) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: An old man regales a dementia patient with a love story she vaguely remembers.

Review: Ahh, yes, this movie. Another film touted as one of the greatest romances of all time and, seemingly, the quintessential chick flick for girls under 30. While I am giving it a decent rating, this movie is sooo fucking corny. I still remember the first time I watched this and how hard it was not to fall asleep. Sure, it has its moments and the visual are admirable, but the story is nothing exceptional nor is the romance really anything worth crying over. The chemistry between the actors is definitely not there either--I don't know what these critics are talking about. Well boys, if you're girlfriend, fiance, wife, mistress, escort, streetwalker, girl chained up in the basement, etc. is forcing you to put up with this shit on Valentine's Day, it's best to know what torture awaits.

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Sugarcoat it? Gotcha. As I alluded to, the cinematography is actually really good. The film looks polished with plenty of awesome scenery and shots. Using the '40s as the setting helps make the experience more tolerable since the designs, cars, fashion, etc. are novel choices. The story was striving for a timeless love vibe, and they mostly succeed in that regard due to the time period. Many of the romantic gestures also work more believably given the era since it's impossible to please anyone anymore; for example, I do enjoy the love letters and their significance to the plot. Ryan Gosling's character, Noah, is surprisingly likable since he's a manlier man than the usual bitch-boys we see in chick flicks. Noah is a man of action and only speaks when he really needs to say something--this works. While I do hate everyone named Ryan as a matter of principle, Mr. Gosling turned in a believable performance. Though, that smug bastard needs to stop fucking smirking in every scene. We get it, you're a pretty boy! Finally, I really liked the dynamics with Noah and his dad. Too bad they killed the dad early on and probably just to score a few more sad points with the audience.

Ready to yank off the band-aid? First off, Rachel McAdams, playing Allie, is not likable. She's an indecisive, cheating bitch who doesn't deserve to have either guy as an option. I love how they write off the other dude as so forgiving...yeah, right! Honestly, Noah is too good for her. Likewise, Allie and Noah aren't a believable couple, and the actors do not have chemistry with each other. It's the same tired formula of a rich girl and a poor guy and the parents won't allow it. Oh nooooes! The actors do their best, but I don't see any passion when they're together. Other films have little nuances that actors or directors add to make it feel like their characters spend time together. Here, these two just feel like actors told they love each other. I seriously do not understand the praise for this aspect. The worst parts of the movie though are the overly melodramatic moments. They're almost satirical in nature, and it makes me burst out laughing; for example, when Noah's friend dies in WWII, and his head is like sticking out of the snow. I'm okay with the old people parts, but that's an awfully whimsical approach to a horrific medical condition. And, come on, they both will themselves to death or something?! LAME! More pandering at its finest.

You know, people have given me a lot of shit for liking "A Walk to Remember," but this movie gets the pass?! It's not that it's necessarily bad, but it's a cookie cutter story with predictable elements all around. The main romance feels contrived, and that whole across time and space sensation they wanted is not captured. If Allie weren't a cheating bitch I would have actually bumped the rating up a half point too. The technical aspects are just fine as they are with most chick flicks so I can't fault them there. However, the story does not reach the levels of depth many hype it to be at. In the end, I can understand why this appeals to a lot of chickadees out there, but it's too bland for me to immerse myself in.

Notable Moment: The poster shot. That scene is right when the cheating starts, and that dirty skank is even wearing her engagement ring on the poster for the movie!

Final Rating: 6/10