The Stuff Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A parasitic and mind-altering ooze is humorously marketed as the next big dessert.

Review: Enough is never enough of the Stuff! Yeah, be prepared to hear that jingle a shit ton. Sure, it's no Silver Shamrock--where you want to blow your brains out--but it can get into your head annoyingly. So what exactly are you getting with this movie? A whole lot of cheese! In fact, this is one of the cheesiest horror movies out there. I mean, just look at that lazy title: "The Stuff?" Not even trying. You might think it's like a ripoff of "The Blob," but the creature, if you want to call it that, is ill-defined and doesn't necessarily eat people. The Stuff is some kind of organic parasite that infests a host, devouring them from the inside out, while simultaneously turning them into mindless ghouls along the way. It's kind of hard to explain honestly. Scratch that, it's inconsistent as hell. The first time I watched this movie it was fun, but, upon further viewings, the shenanigans are starting to show. I guess you need a certain taste for "The Stuff!" Huh, huh? Get it?

You should understand the kind of film you've got yourself into by the first scene. Some old geezer sees marshmallow-looking goo on the ground and his instinct says eat it? Surrrre, why not? Through mind control, I'm assuming, the Stuff gains sentience in order to add itself to the food market. Magically, the Stuff becomes an overnight success as it overtakes ice cream for top dessert. Eh, I'm more of a milk and cookies kinda guy. This is one of the most convoluted take over the world schemes yet, and I've covered a lot of far-fetched plans. I suppose you could consider the story's theme as an anti-consumerism message, but I don't think we need to read that deeply into a movie called "The Stuff," do we?

I wish I could explain how the Stuff works, but it makes little sense. One drop appears to be enough to control your mind yet you need to ingest a lot of it to be absorbed. Nevertheless, the deaths are mostly amusing. The acting is pretty bad with no one taking their roles seriously; though, this might work better to you. A rogue group of the military saving the day was ridiculous, but, hey, what can you do? The Stuff dies to pretty much whatever you have on hand so it's not like the stakes were ever that high. There is a punk kid character, however, he's not as Jar Jar-riffic as you might imagine. Of course the ending is that you can't really get rid of the Stuff as now it's gone underground like a drug.

This film is enjoyable if you can appreciate the raw, cornball nature of the premise. To be clear, this isn't a so bad it's good situation, because the film isn't bad at all--it simply doesn't take itself seriously enough as a horror movie. There are moments of sloppy editing and laughable effects, but the scenes of pure hilarity more than compensate for these shortcomings. I liked the idea of a killer dessert, but they probably should have had a few blob moments. Hell, maybe this inspired "The Blob" remake outright. Overall, this is worth checking out, but it's not quite cult classic level for me.

Notable Moment: When that punk kid is running around a supermarket destroying the Stuff. I like how, through selective editing, no one is able to stop this kid. Also, gotta love the reaction of two idiots when the kid is coming at them as if they have no way of stopping him. He's a fucking little kid--beat his candy ass!

Final Rating: 5.5/10