Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: Titans clash as the Dark Knight battles the Man of Steel because...well...I'll get back to you on that one.
Review: Wow, what an absolute fucking mess. I am not surprised at all though--in fact, I knew this was going to happen! But, before we get ahead of ourselves, let's just knock out the positives in one fell swoop. I strive to be as fair as possible which is why the lowest I could go was a 6/10. The production quality is top-notch, the visuals are good, and the polish to the picture is too clean. I appreciate all the work that went into making this film, and it definitely deserves acknowledgement. If I rated solely based on the content of the story this movie would be hovering around a 4/10. Just keep this in mind since a lot of my rating is based on technical aspects just as it was with that bastardization called "The Force Awakens."
Where to even begin...I guess let's touch on Batman first. I am dying of laughter when I read critics and fans praising Batfleck. Dude, I think Adam West might have been a better Batman. Batfleck is such a mindless brute in this movie. Alfred is the one doing all the groundwork while Batfleck is just running around being pissy and flirting with Wonder Woman. The Michael Keaton version, sitting in the dark thinking, carried more nuance than Batfleck could have ever dreamed. Where is the cunning detective that Batman is supposed to be? The thing that killed the character though was how stupid he was acting with his hatred for Superman. He's pissed over collateral damage from "Man of Steel" yet never offers any way that Superman could have feasibly resolved the issue without it. I don't know, the fight should have felt more personal and, surprise, Batfleck does a 180 almost immediately after the fight. And why the shift? Because he and Superman's mom have the same name?! This is so cartoonishly dumb...it's like a horrible fanfic come to life.
As for Superman...he's okay I guess. They don't spend a lot of time with the character, and we really should have had a proper "Man of Steel 2" before this. He and Lois still do not have good chemistry together, and they foolishly made that the main form of development for Superman this time around. The primary problem I had was how weakened they made Superman. The filmmakers decided to go with the whole, instantly dying to kryptonite angle, which makes sense if they want Batman to stand any chance. It's just annoying how the degree to which Superman is vulnerable to kryptonite is decided by story contrivances instead of consistency. The real kicker though is that they actually made Batman win the fight! My fooking goodness! Anything for the fanboys I suppose, right? Look, I LOVE Batman, but Superman could kill Batman in a hundred different ways before Batman could even blink. If this loss weren't bad enough, the film adds insult to injury by killing off Superman in the fight against Doomsday! HAH! Oh fuck. This is moronic in the long term since we won't feel any kind of stakes with the "Justice League" films down the road; why worry when they've already played the death of Superman plot device?
The rest of the cast is about as shitacular as you'd imagine. Lex is downright embarrassing--the casting of Jesse Eisenberg is one of the dumbest decisions I've ever seen. He has no motivation for any of his actions nor a connection to Superman. The movie wants you to believe he's menacing, but, come on, he's more humorous than intimidating. Connected to Lex was the utter waste of Mercy. She never even had a chance to fight anyone and dies for no conceivable reason. Wonder Woman is a joke with Gal Gadot serving as a terrible cosplayer. She is a twig and did not bulk up for shit as they claimed. Adding her to the plot felt forced when she should have been relegated to a cameo only. Likewise, Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman did not need appearances. The story is overloaded with all these extra characters. Making matters worse was hinting at Darkseid, a future Flash or alternate Earth, evil Superman, and already trying to construct the Justice League. No one stopped and said, hey, maybe this is too much?
Other stupid things worth mentioning: Superman put on trial? Superman is seemingly blamed for the deaths of random terrorists shot? Whaaaat? Yeah, because Superman loves to use guns. What was with killing off Jimmy Olsen? Why would Superman let Kryptonian technology readily fall into the hands of the government? How exactly was Lex planning on controlling Doomsday? If that idiot somehow knew Darkseid was coming, why wouldn't he save Doomsday for that moment? This is where having no motivation to hate Superman cripples this pathetic story. Hell, the worst episode of the "Justice League" cartoon was better than this movie!
The hate this film is receiving is rightfully deserved. The entire story felt rushed, overly compacted, and lamely structured to rival Marvel rather than trying to tell a competent story fans want and have been waiting decades for. The characters are done a huge disservice with this weak portrayal of DC's finest. I suppose some of the complaints could be alleviated from the full, R-rated version that is coming, but I won't be holding my breath. "Man of Steel" was torn to shreds by fans, and it was significantly better than this trash. For me, this was some "Transformers" level of shit whereby it's cool to look at, but there is zero substance. Other than the production value, there is almost nothing I can say positive. It's so disappointing...
Notable Moment: That stupid Jolly Rancher scene. Pitiful. Did they think that made Lex look tough or crazy or what? He looks like a fucking idiot! I think this scene essentially embodies everything wrong with this film.
Final Rating: 6/10
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