Elysium (2013) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: In the future, Earth is overpopulated by the poor and desperate while the rich live in a massive space station known as Elysium.

Review: In two words: utter disappointment. I can't believe people told me this was good. Did we watch the same movie? Okay, the first half was kind of cool, but this movie becomes horrendously bad by the end. The contrivances, the ridiculous MacGuffin, the ham-fisted social commentary, and all around zany antics--the fuck?! This is like the inbred cousin of "District 9" without any of the character development, fun, or imagination. Granted, this was written and directed by the same guy...sooo...does that mean he is creating derivatives of his own work? I mean, really, try and tell me these two films aren't disturbingly similar--oh, right, they made Wikus the villain this time...big whoop. Jodie Foster's fake accent alone was enough to kill this for me!

Right out the gate the film is heavy-handed with the political agenda by showing "illegals" getting killed by cartoonishly evil bad guys on Elysium. But, what's this, the people only want medical treatment? GASP! Argh, those dastardly corporations never helping people! Come on, there are ways to present this scenario without it being cornball as fuck. This leads to one of the most outlandish MacGuffins in recent memory: the illusive, all-powerful "med-bay." Oh good lord. You're telling me the Earth is in shambles yet we developed technology so advanced that all you do is get scanned by this wannabe tanning bed for 30 seconds and any ailment or disease in existence is instantly cured?! Riiight. And Elysium won't share this technology because...well...because the plot says so! They're bad guys! Why can't people steal this technology? If they can crack Elysium's system, surgically implant computers and robotic suits, and space travel seems arbitrary, why can't they replicate the med-bays? It just feels beyond forced. Likewise, the bad guys have pathetic motives and taking over Elysium looked like a walk in the park. What was it--like 4 guys momentarily took over the whole thing?! Where the hell are all the robots in this movie? If they are mass producing them like crazy, why do we see like 4 doing anything all film long? Awfully convenient if you ask me. The ending is also incredibly stupid as Elysium is set up to allow all people to come there. Umm...what stops anyone from simply changing that right back to the way it was before? Don't even get me started on the dumb love interest and her stupid brat. Goddamn this movie is a trainwreck--it's pissing me off just thinking about it.

I'm going to give this film a decent rating simply because of the special effects (once again). There are a few interesting elements scattered about especially in the beginning. Some of the actors were decent, and I can definitely tell the direction was at fault in this situation. If this didn't feel so much like a bastardized "District 9," I might have cut it some slack. The movie wants me to feel bad for the poor people of Earth, but I don't. The film believes itself to be telling an epic story yet the scope does not even come close to matching that vision. Trying to give everyone a magical tanning bed is nonsensical when it would make more sense to create bootleg versions on Earth. Realistically, these items would be manufactured on Earth anyway which makes the movie that much more idiotic. If you took away actors like Matt Damon, and the bigger budget, this would be sci-fi channel levels of shit--probably a 4.5/10.

Notable Moment: That stupid scene with the little girl giving her bandages to Matt Damon. Awww, see, you have to help out these good people, Matty-boy!

Final Rating: 6/10