The Witch (2015) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: The lives of a devout family are plagued by an apparent witch lurking within the nearby forest.

Review: Here we go with another polarizing film; critics love it but the casual audience doesn't see the greatness. I think the movie's merits actually lie somewhere in the middle. In one respect, the production is strong with a great attention to historic detail. On the other hand, there is an air of pretentiousness to everything as the events of the film are made deliberately vague for the sake of saying "what does this mean?" Due to this ambiguity, you can interpret the events in numerous ways. Of course, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the ending. This will either come off as a shocking payoff or a "what the fuck was the point" conclusion. Honestly, when you make a movie like this, you must anticipate a huge portion of the audience will be annoyed right out the gate.

What was working for me was the presentation of the period, being the, I guess, 1600s? This isn't exactly my field of expertise, but everything looked authentic and the dialogue struck me as the likely way people would speak and approach their thinking. The landscape looked beautiful yet harsh which establishes a fitting tone. A big part of the atmosphere is this sense that the characters are in way over their heads. Speaking of such, the atmosphere is well done despite the odd usage of music cues for no particular reason. I mean, a zooming shot of a little bunny hardly seems worthy of a crescendo, but what do I know? And yes, I get that that was supposed to be the witch's familiar, but, really, c'mon son. The other huge factor that both helps and hurts the story is the unapologetic suffering of the characters as they all meet their demise. More so, you could easily claim the story was a bit mean-spirited especially considering the ending. The last thing I'll mention is my thorough approval of making the witch's youthful form be played by a Victoria's Secret model (Sarah Stephens). Although...she killed a baby, covered herself in the blood, and seemingly broom-fucked herself to attain this youth. DA FUCK...

I await the porn parody. Scratch that, can we get a horror/porn hybrid?

As I've already addressed, the vague nature of the plot leaves too much up to the imagination. If you wanted to really amp up your pretentious level, this film certainly provides you with that avenue. You can still take the events at face value, but clearly the director wanted audiences to see beyond the surface. For example, I get the distinct feeling much of the events were metaphorical for the lead, Thomasin's, maturity and crisis of faith; any scene of the actual witch could be attributed to Thomasin's wild imagination. For me, I just don't believe the story is strong enough or compelling enough to bother thinking deeply. It's decent, no doubt, but the characters are nothing to write home about. Thomasin and the dad are the only characters that have anything going on, and they too aren't that complex. This is why the ending feels extra lackluster or outright stupid. Thomasin gives in, sells her soul for fucking butter (and other things), and decides to become a witch even after everything she's experienced? And the devil looks like a gunslinger-pirate?! The horror elements just aren't there. A black goat, bug-eyed rabbit, a sexy, red-riding witch, and a cackling, naked grandma ain't cuttin' it in my book. Besides, how in the hell are you going to cast Lysa but NOT Sweet Robin?!

All stupid jokes aside, this movie is commendable, and easily worth your time. Just keep in mind much of the draw for this film is in the production and that it's an accurately depicted period piece. I want to say there is a degree of originality as well, but I need a little more meat to the plot before making that claim. If you don't mind the vague plot threads or can come up with a sound interpretation of your personal liking, you should have a great time with this one. This isn't a film for everyone and lacks the level of scares you might hope for. At the same time, the bad guys win, so to speak, and that kind of defeatist tale can leave an extremely rotten taste in your mouth especially when this might be your one date movie for the week.

Notable Moment: Love it or hate it, the ending is the standout scene you will remember the most. Whether that payoff was worth it is up to the individual viewer.

Final Rating: 6/10