Love Actually Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Various characters attempt to find love around Christmas time and the zany antics that ensue.

Review: I guess this could technically be classified as a Christmas movie, but the holiday is nearly irrelevant to the plot outside of a few tangents. Anyway, I had heard this was supposed to be a good chick flick, however, I think this might be one of the worst romance movies I've ever watched. In fact, I'd lump this alongside shit like "Titanic" in the overrated category. With that said, I found the comedic elements to be great, nearly redeeming the film as a whole. I mean, it's not that the film is bad, but the story committed one of the oldest sins of 'em all: telling rather than showing. Film is a visual medium--show us the characters falling for each other! You can't just introduce them and then they're instantly in love the next we see of them. That's not compelling or emotional...where is the passion and drama you'd want from a great love story? Even fucking "Twilight" understood this! Oh shit, maybe that's taking things too far...

It's not all bad though. On the bright side, the interlocking aspect to the characters and stories was a novel idea. Of course, this could have been done in a way to add real meaning to the story, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless. As I already stated, the comedic elements are surprisingly well done. I found myself thoroughly enjoying the Billy Mack character, in particular, and his whole comeback plot line. Likewise, the segment with the Portuguese girl and the writer was amusing with a huge crowd tagging along, not knowing what is even happening. Seriously, the comedy in this movie is handled significantly better than the romance; it's a shame really. Speaking of that writer and Portuguese girl...I'll admit a few tales did have potential for a deep romance. Unfortunately, the film only scratches the surface of their own material. As a consequence, the only decent stories are Billy Mack, the writer/Portuguese girl combo, Liam Neeson and his son, and the guy who goes to America to get laid. And, again, the comedic aspects are what make these stories good rather than the romance themes. Finally, the acting is admittedly good too...as it should be given the massive, star-studded cast.

As to the film's problems...it simply fails as a romance outright. Every single tale is rushed and spends more time telling you how characters feel rather than showing the audience. I get it, there are a ton of characters, however, the running time is quite long. Drop plot lines if need be to create a more cohesive and meaningful journey for the remaining characters. Here, I'll even break shit down: Billy Mack didn't need to explain his friendship with his manager; just have him show up at Christmas with drinks in hand and that tells us everything. Everything with Laura Linney was horrible altogether so I don't even give a fuck. Snape and his mistress were pathetic and handled poorly and predictably; though they at least, somewhat, understood facial expressions can do more than words. The Liam Neeson one was cute but would have been better if Liam Neeson had no clue what his son was up to until the very last minute; this would have served as an excellent buildup and payoff as the film went on but nope. The Hugh Grant segment was laughably stupid with a childish interpretation of politics. I have no clue what the fuck was going on with Bilbo's romance since the two chitchat a bit and then are getting married--whaaat? Rick Grimes and Keira Knightley was moronic and ultimately pointless. This could have really gone somewhere deep but failed. On a side note...goddamn Keira Knightley really did have one of the beautiful faces ever and with a sexy voice to boot; however, bitch, eat some pizza with me and get some meat on them bones! Then my favorite, with the writer and Portuguese girl, could have easily been enhanced by slowing down their romantic escalation from meeting to already saying they love each other right away. Hell, I would have made their story into a full-length feature and given it the attention it deserved. Lastly, the guy wanting to get laid was perfect as is--hilarious and Elisha Cuthbert is so dreamy and sexy.

I don't know, it just seemed like each tale was either a hit or miss in terms of entertainment value and all tales failing at the primary goal of presenting a heartfelt romance. The other bizarre aspect was the ordering of the tales and their allotted times being unequal. Why do some characters disappear for half the movie and with little resolution? The tone is also uneven and chaotic. Eh, chick flicks...that's all I can say. I did think it was pretty funny, but it's not consistent in this regard either. There is much to appreciate scattered about yet the anthology-esque presentation boggles down the overall potential rather than helping. They couldn't even incorporate Christmas into the various plots in a significant way which is one of the more unforgivable missteps. Nevertheless, this is a decent movie with all things considered...good but not great. Of course, I am far from the target demographic, however, I think I'm being fair in my rating.

Notable Moment: When Billy Mack tells kids how to get drugs for free. That was a funny scene, and Billy is easily the best character in the movie.

Final Rating: 6/10