Friday, October 25, 2019
Haunt (2019) Review
Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A group of friends visit an "extreme" haunted house on Halloween as mayhem ensues.
Review: "Haunt" starts off well enough but falters fairly quickly. Over the years, I've covered other movies that use "haunts" as a plot device, and it typically doesn't work out. You already know the drill with the attraction being real which sort of feels like a derivative of funhouse-themed movies of the past. In this instance, the buildup was what made things interesting. The design of the haunt--with "Saw" inspired traps and puzzles--kept you guessing where things might go. Perhaps a big payoff was coming? Not really. However, what truly dragged down the movie for me, along with my rating, is the continual usage of characters doing painfully stupid things no sane person would do. Hello, did you just deliberately bring a bat to a gunfight?! People might say horror is notorious for characters not acting naturally, but there's a difference between running up the stairs instead of out the door versus putting your hand out to stop a shotgun! You ain't Neo, sweetheart.
Starting with the good, I'll definitely acknowledge the tension as the group enters the haunt. You know things are going to go badly, but the killers present a kind of enticing scenario that appears real enough. As mentioned, the structure of the haunt is cool. It starts off innocent enough with cheap props to lull the victims into a false sense of security that way they don't know when the killings have begun. The pacing is on track with a steady series of kills to keep you interested. The girl in the nurse costume (something about those nurses, I tell ya) was a fun character and an original kind of quirky; she keeps mentioning factoids that she's learned from her 46 cousins! Other than that, the general look and tone are respectable.
As for the fault's, I might as well start with the killers themselves. These aren't just your typical psychos--they have mutilated their faces to look scary yet how could they function on a normal day to day basis? I get that this is implied to be extreme body modification, yet, we get no backstory or motive for why these goofballs kill. There is something about wanting to get people's "masks" off but whatever, dude. But that's not the main issue at hand. The core characters are boring and cliched. When the best friend disappeared I forgot she even existed, because she had contributed so little up to that point. Other than the aforementioned nurse chickadee, no one else is entertaining in the least, and they kill her off way, way too early. The main chick's backstory was weak, and her boyfriend drama was soooo fucking stupid except to add another victim to the fodder. As an extension, the asinine actions of the characters were annoying; the one guy deliberately going out of his way to beat the one killer with the bat was probably the worst. Finally, the ending was intended to be satisfying but felt forced and nonsensical with the main chick magically going all Kevin McCallister.
All things considered, "Haunt" is still slightly above average. It does have its moments and can be entertaining at times especially toward the beginning. It's not going to feel original, yet, the story and setup are engaging enough to pull you in. If you're waiting for a big reveal, or something noteworthy, that's not here unless seeing the ugly faces of the killers was supposed to blow your mind. While the characters are stock, they're acceptable in these roles. I wouldn't necessarily recommend wasting your Halloween on a movie like this, but if you are planning to binge a slew of horror films then I guess this would make for decent filler viewing in between the first and last of the night.
Notable Moment: When they prematurely kill nurse girl. Not that this scene was great or anything, but how can you kill off the best character only halfway in?! And she was a nurse! Sure, she wasn't in sexy nurse attire but still!
Final Rating: 5.5/10
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