Child's Play 3 Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After magically resurrecting himself, Chucky once again seeks out Andy who now resides at a military boarding school.

Review: I know a lot of fans regard this as the worst Chucky movie, but I humbly disagree. Sure, it's the worst "Child's Play" movie, I'll give you that, but I loathe Chucky 4 and fucking hate Chucky 5. Now I am not saying this movie is good, because it's not, but it's not as bad as it would appear at a glance; I rank it more as below average with its lame attempt to keep the story moving. They clearly had no idea what they were doing with this entry, but decided to try and milk the franchise for all it was worth. Unfortunately, this film suffers from being made in the early '90s, when horror movies were at their worst (financially and often story-wise), and that's honestly the biggest reason for its failure. And, as most know, the main reason this era is notorious for bad horror movies is because audiences were burned out on the icons, ridiculous sequels, and the fans had "grown up" (at least that's what those sellouts told themselves).

The movie actually opens eight years after part two and with the original ending to "Child's Play's" script with the Good Guy's blood pouring into the plastic at the Play Pals factory. Although, I don't know how that translates into Chucky magically resurrecting himself...but sure! This doesn't even make sense, how were Chucky's remains once again not collected as evidence?! Someone did die at the factory. This movie implies they just abandoned the factory and left it as is. That doesn't even follow common business practice of liquidating your assets. Killing me here. Plus, Play Pals is shown to not be out of business...so why was the factory even abandoned to begin with? Wouldn't it be converted to keep producing whatever other stupid toys they sell? And the cobwebs too--wasn't that a bit much? Okay, I need to stop thinking about this film rationally. All we need to know is Chucky is back...yay! And first order of business: kill that asshole, Mr. Sullivan, who surprisingly survived part two. This part tried to be scary but ended up making no sense, but at least we got to see some corporate douchebag die and that's all the audience really wants, right? Besides, Mr. Sullivan conveniently had the records pertaining to Andy's whereabouts, in a pre-internet era, even though Andy hadn't arrived there yet. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I mean, who cares about how Mr. Sullivan would know this, how that computer would access such information, or how the fuck Chucky even knows how to operate a computer! Okay, to be fair, I like this opening and kind of wish they spent more time with Chucky at Play Pals; that scenario actually opened up some options to do things interestingly with the plot.

For those that have been hating on Alex Vincent, he's obviously been replaced as Andy since this is supposed to be a futuristic setting; though, the new guy, Justin Whalin, admittedly looks like Andy all grown up. Putting Andy in military school is...uhh, unique, to say the least. I don't see him ending up at a place like that, but when you have to keep writing Andy's mom out of the script, I suppose this was the best they could come up with. I'd like to say the military school allowed for some cool ideas to be presented, but I'd be lying. It's pretty much the same bullshit as usual with Chucky trying to get Andy until he realizes he can possess someone else. Hmm, you mean, like possibly possessing the CEO of Play Pals and having a lot of power and influence to get away with your alleged strangulation fetish?! And you know what, no one thought it was suspicious, yet again, that now their CEO is murdered right after discussing how a killer doll took down the company to begin with? And they decide to release the toy anyway? And the police didn't notice that the last thing active in Mr. Sullivan's computer was Andy's current whereabouts? AND how the fuck did Chucky mail himself to the military school?! Ahhh!

Anyway, all that happens at the military school is we meet douchebag characters we know will die and Andy's little love interest. Pretty much Andy is being a little bitch trying to stop Chucky while Chucky is going about getting a new body in the most roundabout way imaginable. Eventually the school plays some annual war-game in which Chucky has replaced the paint-pellets in their rifles with real bullets. Besides not having enough time to accomplish this task, didn't Chucky think it could be, I don't know, just a tad dangerous for himself and could possibly get his new body killed along with the kid he's trying to possess?! After some zany antics, the main characters all end up at this carnival coincidentally nearby. As with Chucky at Play Pals, I wish this carnival setting would have played a more significant role in the story since it opened up a lot of possibilities that end up being shoehorned in at the last 10 minutes. Chucky continues to get fucked up before technically succeeding at possessing the dumb kid he's after. But since we can't have that, we change Chucky's little voodoo chant to be like 2 minutes longer than usual so Andy can save the kid and knock Chucky into a large, industrial fan, chopping him to pieces. The film ends with Andy acting like everything will be fine even though more than likely he will be blamed for multiple murders with him being the only likely suspect after all. I love happy endings.

Alright, so maybe the movie is bad. But hey, there are one liners, Chucky has on lipstick while trying to be scary at one point, Chucky screams like a little girl when almost being killed in a trash compactor, and we learn what a "gun" really is--so there's that. Eh, I don't know, I want to say the whole movie just sucks, but I have to factor in that this is Chucky and you can't exactly expect much. Everything simply feels so bland and predictable with major emphasis on mediocrity. Chucky himself is still amusing, while not being too over the top, and watching him lose limbs and get half his face ripped off comes with the territory. I'd place this entry right in the middle as far as quality--it sucks but not as much as part 4 and 5.

Notable Moment: When Chucky kills that little bitch, Mr. Sullivan. Well, it took three movies, but it's about time this asshole lives up to the title Lakeshore strangler.

Final Rating: 4.5/10

Child's Play 2 Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After being pointlessly reconstructed, Chucky once again tries to gain control of Andy's body who is now staying with a foster family.

Review: I want to say that this is the second best of the Chucky films, but I think part six may be slightly better. I used to really like this entry, and it is great when compared to the likes of part 4 and 5, but it is heavily loaded with contrivances. Certain aspects do surpass the original, but, for the most part, they took the franchise in the wrong direction--away from the horror. Surprisingly a large portion of this movie employs unused elements from the original script except, once again, making room for Chucky to establish himself as a horror icon. In fact, they stretched out material from the original script across parts 1-4; that's either saving a lot of money or they are lazy as hell. I guess in the late '80s and early '90s this just seemed like the way you create a franchise: with a likable villain and fans won't care what you do with them.

I've already gone over how great part one was, and how it's a genuinely scary movie if you don't think about Chucky's current image, but this film decided to be more action-oriented. You will notice fairly early on that the pacing is even faster than part one and somehow it works successfully. The music is the best in this entry and that faster tempo translates into the pacing of the film--allowing the viewer to be more engaged in the events. Chucky is more aggressive in this entry, killing pretty much anyone who gets in his way as he pursues Andy; the stealth and intrigue go out the window although there is a tiny attempt to showcase these plot elements. For those that didn't like Alex Vincent's portrayal of Andy in part one, he does a better job this time around (although I thought he was fine before). The incorporation of the fictional Play Pals company, the makers of the Good Guy dolls, was interesting and feels somewhat believable. Having the climax at the Good Guy factory was also fun and opened up a lot of cool scenarios for mayhem. They continue the theme of Chucky taking all manner of abuse before finally dying...which is always amusing. Lastly, there is a certain flow in the continuity of events that makes this entry and part one feel complementary to each other.

Typically I would be more annoyed they abandoned the horror elements in favor of action and comedy, but I'm actually more angry with the overabundance of contrivances; it honestly feels as though it would be safe to say the entire film is a contrivance. First off, why is Play Pal rebuilding Chucky instead of merely examining the audio recorder as they claim is the reason for this? How convenient that they only have Chucky's head when the body of the doll would have been "human" supposedly. Actually, if they did examine the audio recorder, are they saying it was in his head?! Why aren't the remains of Chucky being kept as evidence? Oh yeah, here ya go, have evidence that you could destroy that potentially damages your company! What were they planning to do with him afterward, resell him?!  How does giving Chucky a new body resurrect him? If shooting him in the heart is the only way to kill him, then why would the head mean shit? The good eye is on the wrong side by the way. "Give us a minute, we're not used to making them manually"--shut the fuck up, bitch, you're in a room called "Prototype Lab" what else do you do in there?! The Play Pal CEO doesn't think it's suspicious that a doll claimed to be alive just happens to be involved in a freak accident killing someone the moment they rebuild it AND his crony is murdered later that night?! I should have brought this up about part one, but why is Chucky always killing people in weird ways? Isn't his M.O. supposed to be strangulation? He was nicknamed the Lakeshore strangler, right?! I can understand the cops being written out of the script, but Andy's mom too? Not even a phone call from her at any point since they claim she supports Andy's version of the events. Why is Andy's foster dad such a fucking douche about Andy being afraid of the Good Guy doll? The audience knows that he knows Andy thinks the doll came to life and fucking killed people who did really die! Why does Chucky still need to take Andy's body? So some rules are still applying but not all? You know, how did Chucky even get to the foster family's home? Are they claiming that the Play Pal crony drove them close enough? But wait, how the hell does Chucky even know where Andy is?! Oh yeah, that's right, he calls the orphanage or whatever the hell late at night and they just say, "Sure, here's the address to the foster home of a kid embroiled in a lawsuit and allegations of a murder spree." Seriously?! I know they make it seem like Andy's teacher is mad that she thinks he wrote "FUCK YOU BITCH" on his paper, but she was actually just mad he didn't write "FUCK YOU, BITCH!" And, for realzies, they're reading "Pinocchio" in class that day? The school doesn't call to say the teacher was murdered? No, Chucky sure as hell didn't clean up since it is implied he raced home like Andy to continue the facade that he's been lying in the basement all day. Speaking of which, how does Chucky get around so easily? The foster parents argue loudly with Andy ten feet away just so we can see the camera man's reflection. And why does this milfy foster mom have her house designed like a grandma? Wait, what...the Play Pal toy factory was like a couple miles from the orphanage?! And they have their factory up and running all night with only one guy watching the place?! Exit doors are locked? And how the fuck did Chucky jerry rig some dead body up on a cable? There's plenty more, but I think you get the idea.

Okay, I've been kind of harsh, but while the other sequels were simply stupid, this entry had potential and I expect more. It was clear that they sloppily pulled together a script that heavily borrowed from the original film's while adding stupid elements to play up Chucky's role more. Basically, all the best parts of this film are the original ideas while the padding is noticeable and Chucky trying to be, well, Chucky, is lame as hell. I mean, come on, he's just a fucking little dolly, he's not a damn threat when you remove the stealth. The knives he carries in half the movies are bigger than him! Overall though, I do like this movie despite its flaws. There is a certain amusement to the story and the contrivances can be great in the so bad it's good way. Andy and his foster sister (?), Kyle, are likable enough and their fight against Chucky is entertaining especially at the toy factory. While this wasn't the best sequel you'd hope for, it feels like "T2" when compared to the likes of part 5.

Notable Moment: When Kyle slams on the breaks of her car and Chucky goes flying through the windshield. I mean, seriously? No one stopped and thought that made no sense? Plus, they're right next to the orphanage already, or whatever the hell it was, so what's the point?!

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Child's Play Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Unbeknownst to a boy and his mother, the boy's new toy is possessed by the spirit of a serial killer.

Review: Now we come to my least favorite of the major horror icons: Chucky; I will also refer to the franchise and its sequels as Chucky part whatever--just as I had with Jason and Freddy. It's not that I don't like these films or the character, but, unlike the other horror icons, Chucky drifted into the realm of comedy far too quickly and most of the movies suck in general; I was half expecting him to end up in space alongside Pinhead and Jason. If it weren't for how scary this first entry was, I would probably lump the franchise, as a whole, merely one or two notches above the horrendous "Puppet Master" franchise (maybe that's a little too rough). Anyway, some people may know this, but the original idea behind "Child's Play" was that the doll was meant to be a physical manifestation of Andy's rage--Andy being the protagonist in the first three movies. The "Good Guy" doll was an obvious ripoff of "My Buddy," yet is remembered far more easily than that god awful toy. Chucky's backstory and the whole voodoo crap was tacked on later for better or worse. In fact, if you watch this film but skip right to the introduction of Andy, it makes the movie feel way more scary. Therefore, we must understand, the first movie was meant to be more psychological and scary, but the lameness that is Chucky simultaneously is what established this film as a franchise...so it's a tossup. I do feel as though they needed Chucky or else we'd essentially have what would later become "Pinocchio's Revenge," (another forgettable piece of shit) but I do wish he stayed creepy rather than trying to be funny like Freddy with stupid one-liners after each kill.

Okay, enough talking shit on Chucky, let's discuss why this movie is actually scary and address that it contains one of the scariest moments in film history. The pacing helps ease the viewer in gradually, balancing storyline aspects evenly, but the scary shit starts fairly early on. The music is decent and does leave a haunting image especially during the end credits. The acting is good, and I don't care what people say about Alex Vincent as Andy--his acting was great at times. The doll moving around on its own and Andy talking to it feels unsettling as it is, but imagine if you were the parent and how weird it would be that people are dying and your kid is the main suspect. Either that or you must come to terms with the fact that your kid's stories about the doll being alive are true. This is an added layer of disturbance, because both outlooks are grim since you're kid is either crazy or you have to deal with supernatural forces. You have the cliches like someone running by in the background and other nuances, but they still work well enough to add to the mystery as to whether or not it's the doll or Andy. Chucky admittedly looks creepier as the normal Good Guy doll than when he is "alive," so the eyes turning to face people and those kind of details are cool early on. Obviously the best scene is when Andy's mom, Karen, played by milf Catherine Hicks, discovers Chucky never had batteries all that time. This scene alone is beyond frightening and easily one of the scariest moments of any movie ever. Sometimes you forget how scary this scene can be when you imagine all the implications it expresses, but the sequels have, unfortunately, overshadowed this fact. Another part that is severely overlooked is when they burn Chucky and he comes after Andy in the hall. That shot of the charred Chucky lurching over Andy is genuinely creepy! I mean, seriously, why does Chucky never try to scare people on this level ever again? Oh right, 'cause he's too busy saying shit like "Don't fuck with the Chuck." One final thing I rarely see others mention is the inference that somehow Chucky does possess Andy in the end. Even as a kid I thought that when Chucky "dies," and his voice goes back to the Good Guy voice, I thought that it sounded like Andy. Then you consider that awkward look on Andy's face and the freeze frame final shot making Andy look suspicious. I just felt they might have been leaving the option open for making Chucky be inside Andy. Maybe they were hearkening back to "Trilogy of Terror" with that killer doll possessing someone after being burned.

To remember the better days of when Chucky was scary:

So if this film was legitimately scary, why did the franchise spiral into idiocy? I hate to admit it, but the foundation of Chucky as the horror icon were in the making from the beginning, and so were the stupid plot elements. First off, there are moments when Chucky is dicking around and trying to be funny from the onset; there aren't a lot of these moments, but they are there nonetheless. The voodoo plotline makes no sense and is stupid to boot. If Chucky can put his spirit in a doll, wouldn't it stand to reason he could put his spirit in any inanimate object? It would make more sense if he could only put himself into living things. I'm only mentioning this, because of the whole "turning human" plotline this franchise brings up often. It makes no sense, and is inconsistent, as to why being in the doll would make the doll more human-like. Plus, why would that voodoo guy teach Chucky any of this shit and why would that imbecile keep a voodoo doll of himself lying around AND tell Chucky about it?! But to be fair, the voodoo plot elements were not in the original script which is why I judge it less harshly. Beyond that, we have the sheer realization that Chucky is not intimidating in the least. Other than the initial fear, you quickly realize he's maybe two feet tall, at best, and should be light as hell; flailing about in a cartoonish manner when he attacks doesn't help things either. Thankfully Chucky is not as blatant, in this first movie though, and works more by stealth until everyone knows he's alive.

This is one of those cases where the sequels have drastically weakened the impact of the first film, but I still love this movie. It's scary naturally, but is so much better if you haven't watched the sequels or can be objective while watching this one. The killer doll idea is nothing new, but they work with the material in a way that instills dread while providing a modest mystery with cool intrigue until the reveal about midway in. I think it goes without saying that the scares are the best in this entry, and that one particular scene is among the best ever which gives this film bonus points for having such a truly memorable scene that can stand up in light of all the detractors. All the facets of the film somehow work successfully and there is even some '80s magic adding icing to the cake. Overall, this is the best entry in the franchise, hands down, and definitely worth a view.

Notable Moment: When Karen is examining the Good Guy box and the batteries fall out. Then, with glorious tension, she inspects Chucky and discovers he, in fact, has no batteries. This is quickly followed by Chucky's head spinning around as he says, "Hi, I'm Chucky, wanna play!" So creepy and unsettling to say the least...definitely one of the scariest moments of all time. It also helps that Chucky is in the normal Good Guy form.

Final Rating: 7/10