Ernest Scared Stupid Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Leading up to Halloween, Ernest unwittingly frees an evil troll that was captured by his ancestor.

Review: I used to really like this movie as a kid, but, unfortunately, it does not hold up well at all. This was the last entry in the Ernest franchise to make it to theaters...which is kind of shocking they even bothered after how horrific "Ernest Goes to Jail" was. Of course Jim Varney still carries the ridiculous story with utmost conviction, but the zany hijinks are a bit too moronic in this instance. Sure, the Halloween aspect cushions the fall slightly, but they don't spend nearly enough time dealing with the holiday. In fact, the original script probably just wanted to have Ernest fighting a troll, and someone in the marketing department wisely realized you could widen the appeal by including Halloween themes.

If you're wondering why is there never any continuity in this franchise...well...I have no clue. This time around Ernest is a garbageman, randomly, and, in typical fashion, is fucking everything up. We get some little kids for friends too which I'm okay with...I guess. We come to learn a troll was terrorizing the town sometime ago in which Ernest's ancestor managed to trap the fugly creature. After building the coolest treehouse ever with the kids, Ernest inadvertently awakens the troll that just so happens to be trapped under the tree they used. I do want to mention, that in fairness to Ernest's stupidity, a different idiot is the one that told him the exact way to awaken the troll so it's just as much their fault as Ernest's for freeing the beast. Anyway, the troll needs the souls of children to--here we go again--take over the world or some shit with the help of his children. No one believes Ernest other than the kids, because it's Halloween after all. The troll does manage to accomplish his goal due to no one believing Ernest, however, this little troll army is defeated laughably easy. Apparently they are weak against milk and love. Oh god. This is one of the worst take over the world schemes yet, and this isn't the first time I've made that statement! By the way, why the hell is one of those trolls a dead ringer for one of the Killer Klowns? Hmm. In the end, Ernest, with help of the townsfolk, manages to defeat the pathetic trolls and restore balance to the force I think. The movie ends abruptly with Ernest, seemingly, fucking his dog and a hag eyeing the camera because why not, right?

This may not be the worst Ernest movie, but it's probably the biggest waste of potential. How do you not utilize the holiday more than this? Worse, the comedic elements, intended to be the heart of the film, fall flat; a significant number of the jokes are embarrassingly lame, and the gags and setups aren't making out much better. If you liked other Ernest installments I'm sure this will entertain you since it's, more or less, the same shtick with a Halloween veneer. On the other hand, if you have no clue what the hell an Ernest is, or find even the better entries like "Ernest Goes to Camp" to be bad, then you will definitely want to avoid this. Objectively, this a mediocre film with little to offer and quickly forgotten once the credits roll.

Notable Moment: When those kids are using precious pizza as a weapon and wasting it! Granted, the pizza looked like shit but come on!

Final Rating: 5/10

Garfield's Halloween Adventure Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Intrigued by the prospect of free candy, Garfield and Odie embark on a night of trick or treating.

Review: Typically I wouldn't cover a short, TV special such as this, but, screw it, I make up the rules around here. Anyway, this special is near and dear to my heart as I've been watching it annually since the '80s. You'd think subsequent viewings would grow tiresome over the decades yet it still invokes the same entertainment value now as it did originally; I still like the songs and enjoy the little jokes. It's tough to imagine modern audiences fully embracing this special, but you'd be missing out that's for sure. You don't even need to be a fan of Garfield to appreciate the humor styling either.

What we have is typical Garfield action with him being a sarcastic and lazy bastard who is only interested in Halloween for the candy. Tricking Odie into helping him for twice the candy, Garfield decides on a pirate theme which adds another layer of material to explore. The songs work surprisingly well and the jokes still hold up...so long as you anticipate kid-friendly antics. The animation is acceptable, but I'll admit it's not exactly mind-blowing or anything. The best part is that the story kind of takes an unexpected turn once Garfield and Odie end up on a mysterious island. Here, an old man explains to them that ghostly pirates are returning for their long lost treasure that night. It might not sound like all of these elements will mix, but, I assure you, the plot points blend seamlessly. Not shocking whatsoever, Garfield and Odie escape from the ghosts and manage to make it back home in one piece. Garfield even splits the candy 50/50 which is difficult for him to not be selfish. The ending works too, because you get that same, creepy old man popping up on the TV for a final zinger almost.

Whether or not you have kids, are a kid, or are simply looking for good, clean Halloween fun, this is worth a holiday viewing. Sure, you might be looking for a more hardcore recommendation this time of year--which I've covered hundreds of films that fit that bill--however, this special can still serve as a cool down; think of it as a way to forget all about Natre at the end of your bed! Regardless of the situation, this is a fun short that hits all the right notes. The comedy is solid and nothing feels dated at all despite over thirty years passing by. Of course it helps if you are already a fan of Garfield, but it's not necessary as I've stated--the story works well enough without any context for the characters. Just watch this--you won't regret it!

Notable Moment: When Garfield and Odie run into, seemingly, real monsters...also trick or treating for some odd reason.

Final Rating: 7.5/10

The Nightmare Before Christmas Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: In a world where creatures only experience Halloween, the Pumpkin King wishes to celebrate Christmas.

Review: I planned to review this film some time ago, but I was never sure if I wanted to cover it during Halloween or Christmas. In the end, I decided that the majority of the film is Halloween-centric so here we are. Anyway...this is an undeniably unique and ambitious example of filmmaking, however, I've never understood the appeal. Sure, the songs are catchy and the visuals are imaginative, but I guess I just don't "get it." The story makes little sense and the pacing is an absolute fucking mess with an impromptu villain added in the third act since most conflict in the plot is contrived and forced. Not sure how this crack trip was created, but anything this weird is going to attract a specific crowd one way or another.

Starting with the positives I must acknowledge the animation efforts. The character designs and general aesthetics are impressive and wholeheartedly original. Although you clearly feel Tim Burton's hand in the production, the crew did a fantastic job worthy of high praise. Overall, from a production standpoint, the movie is quite the accomplishment. Since the film is, more or less, a musical, I did like many of the songs. The voice actors also turned in admirable performances since I wouldn't have even recognized them from their usual speaking voices without consulting a cast list. While the story may not fully dazzle my senses, there is a certain, whimsical tone that engages the viewer in the way a bizarre fairy tale would.

As for the negatives, it's hard for me to accept the situations when it feels like they're making things up as they go. Yeah, this is a fantastic world where monstrous creatures simply exist--I can come to terms with that--but random things keep happening on the spot as if you are supposed to roll with the punches. I can't. For example, the Frankenstein-wannabe can just create lifeforms because Jack shows him a picture? Or Jack is shown being blown up and falling out of the sky and just brushes this off. Yet...we are to believe he's in danger when fighting Oogie Boogie? Speaking of which, Oogie Boogie comes out of nowhere, like he was supposed to be this threat all film long, and is easily dispatched with. AND the only reason he's in the story at all is because Jack enlists the help of his minions for no discernible reason despite being told not to trust them! Then the romance element is completely shoehorned in as if it's of epic proportions. It ain't. The running time is incredibly short--70 minutes without credits--and you feel like every plot point is rushed as if they just wanted to be done with it already. I don't know, dude...there is definitely a reason those cowards at Disney wouldn't attach their brand name until AFTER the film had succeeded.

As a fan of film itself, I can respect "The Nightmare Before Christmas," but it is not my cup of tea. There are numerous elements I appreciate especially in regard to the production and art style. Maybe if they went darker with the material--presenting an adult fairy tale perhaps--I could be more invested. To turn this into some kind of holiday movie for the kiddies, on the other hand, makes it bland to me somehow as if they wasted the full potential. Had there been, maybe, another 15-20 minutes tacked on to the film--establishing Oogie Boogie, explaining how all these holiday worlds exist separate from reality, etc.--then I believe a truer vision would have been realized. This is probably another instance where you will simply adore the film through and through or awkwardly shrug once the credits roll.

Notable Moment: The scene used for the poster--when Jack is singing across the moonlight. It's a great image, and I can see why they played it up for the marketing.

Final Rating: 6/10