The Wicked Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A local legend about a witch that comes to eat you when you break a window of her house turns out to be real.

Review: I've read some really harsh reviews for this film, and, although there is a lot of stupid things going on here, this film is nowhere near as bad as some have said. Have these people never watched or heard of "Howling VII" or "Troll 2?" The funny thing is, those movies are at least shit that is watchable. What about shit so unbearable it cannot even be watched such as "Manos: The Hands of Fate" or virtually any syfy (hate that fucking spelling!) channel movie? This film is nowhere even close to being on that level of garbage. One of my pet peeves is the phrase "worst movie ever" being thrown around casually; there are shitty movies and then there are fucking SHITTY movies! I actually enjoyed this film for what it was. I know it has been pitched as a horror movie, but it's more of a family horror with just a tad too much gore and profanity making it confusing. Think of it as an edgier episode of "Goosebumps" or something along those lines, and you will be less disappointed by what you see. Let's start with the bad so you can understand the complaints people have. The first thing you will notice are the cheap-looking effects and stage designs. Words cannot express how annoying it is to see CGI blood! I mean, seriously? The few other effects regarding the witch and her powers range from adequate to weak, but they aren't as pathetic as the blood and the opening scene. While the characters are outdoors, things are okay, but when they're indoors it's obvious you're watching a filmset and a small one at that. This is especially noticeable when the kids are running around the witch's house, and they pass by the same 3 backgrounds repeatedly. The story is unoriginal, poorly planned out, and felt genre-confused. So there's some little town legend about a witch and throwing rocks at her window or whatever; eh, it's not elaborated on enough considering the witch's goal to regain her youth is the central plot point. Some dumbass kids decide to test this out and become caught up with the witch trying to kill them. It's nothing we haven't seen a million times and done better mind you. There's more to it than this though, because there are so many pointless plot elements thrown into the mix that are either contrivances or lead to nowhere. This is a perfect example of a story that must have been comprised of multiple scripts thrown into a blender: you've got something about a new girl, a dead grandpa who was a magician (that's sound so much dumber when writing it), shenanigans with the police and pranks, a shifty dad who seemed like he would be important, a disappearing car, some irrelevant forest ranger, a convenient ability to fight witches, and random romantic subplots clearly meant to be for a different film. You'd be surprised by how much is going on in this film even though the overall plot is ridiculously simplistic: witch eats people, that mess with her house, to stay young. My last complaints are that the film lacks scares and that some of the acting is bad, but it was much better than I thought it would be. Now, why do I like this film even with all of that? Because the characters and their interactions with each other were great, light horror is so rare that it was refreshing, and the film had a general sense of heart put into the production. The characters were, by far, the highlight of the film for me since it felt like something out of "The Goonies" or "The Monster Squad." I loved the banter between the main brothers, Max and Zach; Zach threatening to put a picture of Max "jacking off" on Facebook was hilarious and felt real. Zach's friend, Carter, saying Zach is only acting tough to impress the new girl, Julie, and Max's friend, Sammy, and the main cop, Karl, giving each other the finger after they beat the witch were such awesome moments among many others. There was a certain level of comradery that made the dialogue feel real or at least entertaining; the film successfully made me care about the characters and want to know more about them. Connected to this notion were the main romantic subplots I mentioned. I liked the development of these relationships even if they felt a bit out of place. I especially enjoyed the relationship between Max and Sammy since it's your typical best friends who love each other thing, but it was dealt with interestingly. Now, I'm not saying these conversations are anything award winning, but if you view it in the context of a family horror it was decent drama. Also, you just knew that witch was going to be a hot chick under all that makeup! Going back to what I said earlier, if you simply toned down the dialogue, removed a few gorier deaths, and took out the token sex scenes (no nudity anyway), this would be kid-friendly and would have worked better as such. I think that may have been a big turnoff for some, because it felt as if the film was written to be childish but later spiced up for effect; it's really difficult to shoehorn more mature themes in at the last second. If this isn't the case, well, then they're just fucking retarded. Finally, there was just this sense of heart to what I was seeing as if the pointless characters and plot elements meant more to the crew than was displayed to the audience. It's hard to explain because this isn't the typical zany antics you'd find in a serious horror film and comes off as merely stupid to casual viewers. Maybe I'm seeing more than there really is? Anyway, this film is far from great, that's for sure, but it surprised me by how much better it was than the reviews out there make it out to be. Like I said, picture it as a more adult episode of "The Haunting Hour" and it's decent enough. Expect this to be a scary and straight horror film and you will be in for a big shock. If this film were polished to be more serious, or toned down to be more family-oriented, I would have rated it higher. As it stands, this is a mildly entertaining film highlighted by interesting characters but deterred by stupidity, bad effects, and no scares. Worth a rental no doubt, but not much beyond that unless you can appreciate the characters.

Notable Moment: Honestly, when Sammy and Max are making out. I wanted more to their story to be developed and maybe even the focus of the film. But I guess that is the total loser in me speaking out.

Final Rating: 5.5/10