Jason X Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After being cryogenically frozen, Jason is awakened in the distant future to once again wreak havoc.

Review: I still remember the first time I read the plot for this film and thinking it was some kind of joke. Well, it's a joke alright, but not entirely intentional. So the Jason franchise lingers off due to the stupidity of part 8, then is brought to an end by the stupidity of part 9, only to come back nearly a decade later in fucking space?! How the hell do you even pitch this to the studio? "Well Pinhead and the Leprechaun went to space...why can't Jason?" Grrr! You want to know the worst part? The sketch comedy show, "MadTV," came up with an eerily similar concept years before called "Apollo the 13th: Jason Takes Nasa." I wonder if this truly was the inspiration? Well, despite the ridiculous concept and leap into the realm of implausibility, this movie isn't that bad; realistically, it's on par with part 9 and much better than part 5 and 8. I did like the humor since it kind of reminded me of part 6, but I can see why it would annoy hardcore fans. Also, this entry has the privilege of starring the best looking chick in the entire franchise, Lexa Doig, playing the main character, Rowan; although I have a special place in my heart for the '80s babes in part 4 and the remake's girls are insanely hot as well. Lastly, I want to mention I'll have a little rant at the end of the review in vague reference to this film's release.

As for the timeline issues, they sort of acknowledge it by stating Jason was probably captured by the government in 2008 which would fit what I've been thinking, but would that be enough time to build an underground facility at Crystal Lake? The idea is that since Jason's resurrection is, once again, not explained, people believe that the "Freddy vs. Jason" resurrection is the bridge between this and part 9. I suppose it could fit the timeline, but that Jason looks nothing like "Jason X's" version. Speaking of which, this movie starts off on the wrong foot the moment you see Jason; he looks way too human and almost no zombification if any at all. They're either going to have to make another entry of some sort to explain this away or it will forever be left as a continuity error. By the way, how did they capture Jason to begin with? There are too many unanswered questions going on here, but none of it matters because it's all an excuse to skip exposition and get Jason into space as fast as possible. So Rowan works at this facility storing Jason as he, of course, escapes since there's like 5 people guarding the place. She lures Jason to a cryogenics chamber that had been prepared for him since they couldn't figure out a way to permanently kill him; hmm, people seemed to do just fine in part 4, 8, and 9! Unfortunately for Rowan, she is trapped with Jason in the cryogenics chamber after he stabs her and ruptures the coolant. We then jump ahead to the year 2465 with some group of research students stumbling upon Rowan and Jason; uh okay, so no one from the government ever came by to check up on the facility? In this future, Earth is in shambles and humans live throughout space and on a different planet, idiotically named Earth 2.

The students bring Rowan and Jason onboard their spaceship and successfully resurrect Rowan through advanced technology, of which, we will see a lot of throughout the film as one of the better highlights. The fodder this time are a mixed bag as some are over the top stupid while others are kind of cool. I liked the guy with his cyborg girlfriend and the wannabe space marines were interesting especially the badass Brodski. Big shock, when Jason awakens, he rampages and kills just about everyone onboard the spaceship. For the most part the kills are decent with a ton of victims, but I'd say they are less graphic than part 9; I think a lot of people like the girl who has her face frozen and then smashed. I should probably note that the scenes of CGI are especially bad and look to be on the level of sci-fi originals. Eventually, the cyborg girl is given a combat upgrade and she obliterates Jason until he has been reduced to pieces similarly to part 9. Instead of staying dead, Jason is regenerated and modified by these things called nanites that helped repair and resurrect Rowan. Now Jason has become what the film regards as "Uber Jason" as he has robotic limbs, a metal mask, and looks even more unstoppable despite the fact that we never really see him do anything different; in fact, Jason came out swinging much harder in part 6. By the end, everyone is dead except Rowan, the guy and his cyborg girlfriend's head, and Brodski who sacrifices himself to pull Jason into Earth 2's atmosphere. Jason is shown burning up into nothing except his metal mask that lands in a new lake nearby horny teens. I wonder how that will go?

They claim this film was made in order to keep Jason relevant in the public's mind before finally finishing "Freddy vs. Jason," but that makes so little sense. How would making a movie that has nothing to do with another movie, except for the titular character, help in any way? If anything, this would deter viewers because this movie was so over the top it would cast doubt in the audience's mind on your capability to produce a decent film. Everything about Jason's look is way off, taking a classic villain into space and the future is moronic, and the tone was to the point of self-mockery that many fans disliked. On the other hand, somehow it didn't turn out nearly as bad as one would think. Sure, it's stupid and too humorous, but there are some interesting moments, a few creative ideas, Jason was represented decently, and there were enough references to the state of the franchise to make it watchable. I'm kind of glad they rebooted the franchise, because I really don't think I could have tolerated a "Jason XI" that's for sure!

Notable Moment: When Jason is distracted by the hologram simulation and the two hot chicks. It's amusing, but the original idea to have a hologram of Mrs. Voorhees would have been a million times better.

Final Rating: 5/10

Ms. Doig:

Bonus Rant: So once upon a time, when I was maybe 14 or 15 and before "Jason X" came out, I actually wrote scripts for F13 part 10-13. I'm not going to say these were all that good, but I believe they provided a more fitting and epic end to Jason and the franchise as a whole. I don't even fully remember a lot of what they were about except certain aspects like in my part 10 I tried to continue off of what part 9 was going for with the stupid possession shit. I had it where Jason's mask at the end was found many years later and it still somehow retained the essence of Jason to possess someone. From there, it played out sort of like part 1 with you guessing who the killer was since the person did not realize they were possessed by Jason. Toward the end, Jason's spirit had spilled enough blood to regenerate his body and that was how that one ended...with Jason winning; I felt that was a nice change of pace for the franchise. For my part 11 I introduced some kind of proteges of Creighton Duke trying to hunt down Jason since they were the only ones who believed he was still out there. I invented these characters based on the fact that they said Mr. Duke had a training compound, and I tried to explain how he came to the knowledge he had about Jason. I can't recall completely, but I think this one ended with Jason beheaded and the only surviving protege kept the mask and head thinking that was the source of what was allowing Jason to return--obviously it wasn't. For my part 12, I honestly can't remember a thing except that it had some kind of cliffhanger to segway into the last entry. And then for my conclusion to the franchise, F13 part 13, I had it so that all the survivors from all the films returned to fight Jason while being led by Tommy and the guy from my part 11. Throughout the script each survivor has a chance to deal Jason some damage before most died. I can't remember who lived or even how the hell Jason died, which sucks, but I just remember having a lot of fun writing the final showdown and Jason's soul being destroyed by some means. I'm pretty sure it made reference to the spellbook in part 9 and the means in which Jason was resurrected was reversed. The last thing I'll say is that I would have gladly uploaded these scripts if they weren't deleted long ago by a crazy bitch who erased my entire computer and all my stories and writing. Thanks bitch!