Episode 50 Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Two stupid teams of paranormal investigators annoy the living fuck out of me.

Review: Once more I tackle a movie saying bye bye from Netflix streaming. I should turn this into a segment or something since this keeps happening. Typically this would be the point where I would complain that Netflix needs to add more movies instead of deleting them, but, in the case of this movie, they're doing the world a favor by getting rid of this shit. My fucking god I HATED this movie! I kept praying for Rika to put me out of my misery as I had to take at least four breaks to gather my composure and force myself to continue. I can't even think--the stupidity of this movie is overwhelming my cognitive abilities. You see that kind of creepy movie poster? That artwork is seriously hundreds of times better in quality than anything going on with this garbage. Arrrgh. Ughh. Aaaahhh! Why...

The story is a shameless ripoff of "Grave Encounters" with tidbits of numerous other films thrown in for no reason; like, was adding a Kayako-clone really necessary in this instance? In a nutshell, two stupid teams investigate a haunted sanitarium or whatever and dumb shit happens. Something about a demon, a serial killer, an idiotic ritual, a gateway to hell, and a dying tycoon wanting to know if hell is real. Hell if I know and definitely don't care. This has got to be one of the worst editing jobs I have ever had the misfortune of viewing. You will probably have no idea what the hell is going on for the majority of the film due to the abominable editing. I thought this movie was supposed to be found-footage style, but it is not consistent at all and at one point it's like they say "fuck it" and stop. Plus, why do we keep getting cuts back to testimonials? Who cares what these fools think...aren't they supposed to be tormented by the ghosts at this point?! The fuck? The acting is unforgivable with horrendous delivery and overacting out the ass; the allegedly dramatic moments are the worst and border on suicide-inducing. The special effects are about as shitty as you would imagine. They appeared to put some work into the look of that Kayako-clone, but then they completely waste her in favor of displaying the most cliched looking demon.

I don't know what else to say. The movie is a mess from start to finish and fails in every aspect; I can't put it any more plainly than that. If I had worked on this film I would be completely embarrassed. There are worse movies out there, no doubt about that, but this movie took itself so seriously with the cornball music and attempts to be dramatic. I was laughing a few times over the sheer shenanigans, but, more often than not, I was just annoyed. This didn't even come close to the so bad it's good territory which makes it that much more insufferable. With its merciful removal from Netflix I feel like the evil spirits are being cleansed so I will take solace in that. If by chance someone should come across this movie on a whim, do not waste your time! It's like "Jumanji:" Netflix is burying the movie and may god have mercy on your soul for digging it back up.

Notable Moment: That final shot of, what I'm presuming is, Jack's dead body. I absolutely love the chocolate syrup blood with no wound to be found. Are you fucking kidding me here?!

Final Rating: 2.5/10