Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: The worst special forces team on earth attempts to recover a blood sample to, somehow, save the world from zombies.
Review: Why, oh why, was this ever greenlit? I mean, was there really someone out there that was like, "We need a House of the Dead 2 stat!" Now, while this movie is technically better than part one, it's so bland, boring, and pathetic that it's nowhere near as entertaining. Yes, the first HotD was pure ass, but it was so over the top and ridiculous you can't help but laugh a little. There are few laughs to be had here except maybe about how inept the main characters are. Uuughhh, this was painful to sit through--too much eye rolling, too many facepalms, and too many moments of begging Rika to strike me down and end this cruel torture. They basically ripped off 25% "Resident Evil," 25% "Aliens," 25% "28 Days Later," and 25% every zombie movie ever. What does that add up to? That's right, 100% pure, unadulterated shit.
One of the first things you'll notice about this movie is the horrendous film quality; were the cameras leftovers from the early '90s? Did they not realize this ahead of time? Anyway, forget everything that happened in part one, because it's completely irrelevant to this movie except for a couple bullshit moments I'll touch on. This time the setting is a random college overrun by zombies. I will try to explain this setup the best I can since clearly this was not thought out whatsoever. Here we go: some scientist is conveniently trying to make zombies for no reason when all hell breaks loose. Of course the zombies begin to spread until the entire college is taken over. As with the worst films in the zombie sub-genre, the amount of time it takes to turn into a zombie is arbitrary and completely inconsistent. So we skip ahead to 29 days later...oh, I see what you did there! Wait, hold up. It's been 29 days and no one realizes this college has been overrun by zombies? No kid's parents, for example, ever wondered about them? No one escaped and called for backup? No one else visited? Nothing? A completely self-contained incident where people can die and turn into zombies with no one noticing for an entire month? Okay, that's kind of funny...good one, movie.
Wait, no, someone did notice...this covert division of the government knows exactly what's up. Apparently, zombie outbreaks are fairly common to the point that these idiots refer to zombies as "hyper sapiens." Really? Let me get this straight HotD writer, zombie outbreaks can occur naturally and have instances of being man made? And the public is clueless? So you're saying a random cough somewhere and whoops we got zombies and then also a mad scientist developing a zombie formula coincide yet unrelated? Can't compute...too much ripping off in play...trying to reconcile. Sorry about that, the stupidity of the scenario was giving me an aneurysm or something. Since no one has noticed the zombies at the college yet, the best way to clean up the mess is to simply send in a dozen troops, right? Fuck an entire army, we've got the highly skilled idiots in this movie! It's hard for me to properly do justice to how incompetent this team is, but suffice to say the movie wants you to see them like the badass colonial marines of "Aliens" when they're more on par with those flunkies from "616: Paranormal Incident." Oh and magically Casper is like in charge of this group. How the hell did she survive part one? And even if she did, why would she be the leader? It doesn't matter because she's only in the beginning. Do I even need to explain that the team dies laughably easy and puts up virtually no fight all the while trying so hard to act tough? I can't believe they also made one of the soldiers trying to get a zombie sample to sell for money...right out of fucking "Resident Evil!"
You may be wondering what the hell is this team supposed to be doing anyway, and I don't have a very good answer. At first I thought they were meant to kill the zombies, but they are more focused on collecting blood samples which they claim will lead to a cure. A cure? How? If zombies are both naturally and artificially created, how the fuck could you create one, all encompassing cure?! Whatever. So the team storms the college, but they don't bother to secure the perimeter; well, there goes containment out the window. It's okay though, they're sending in missiles to blow the place up for some reason. Can't believe I have to do this again, but, what? I understand you claim no one noticed a college overrun by zombies, but how will you explain how the entire school got blown up? Eventually they try to create a connection to part one by saying the first zombie of this particular outbreak was fencing girl that I thought died. That makes no fucking sense. The zombies in the first HotD were created from the blood of the villain. Oh and nice try with a jab at the first movie by indirectly calling it stupid--have you looked at this shit?! Later, we get to the dumbest parts of the movie as the main two soldiers, Nightingale and Ellis, get a sample of blood from that fencing chick only to lose it. Then, they waste more time to get another sample before the school gets blown up in one of the worst explosion effects I've ever seen. Guess what happens next? They lose that sample too! Alright, that's kind of funny too--well, funny in that the movie is quite literally pointless! The movie then ends with Nightingale ambiguously infected (she should be dead) as they imply the zombies have spread around the country. Well, considering you didn't do jackshit to contain the outbreak and sent in a whopping 12 people to handle the situation, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?! Argh. And what the hell is this...how dare you have a pointless after the credits scene! I hate this movie...
I could tear part one to shreds all day long and have fun doing it. With this movie, it just pisses me off with its blatant idiocy. This is about as generic as a zombie movie can get with dullness galore and mediocre everything. It's not all bad though--Nightingale is hot, they added more random titties, and there are a few mildly entertaining moments like using a picture of Paris Hilton for target practice. But, trust me, none of this makes up for how bad this film is. This is a definite avoid, and I think I'm being waaaay too generous with the rating as it is.
Notable Moment: When Ellis covers himself in zombie blood to trick the zombies yet can't take his guns, because zombies can magically smell gun powder. To make matters worse, his whole goal was to open a vent that they could have simply kicked open. For fuck's sake.
Final Rating: 4/10
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