The Karate Kid, Part III Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A maniacal villain decides it will be his life's mission to...uh...annoy Daniel and Miyagi.

Review: You know, "The Karate Kid" would have a lot of imitators over the years, but this movie felt worse than the pieces of shit trying to mimic the franchise. What were they thinking? It's as if they were trying to compete with that retarded karate kid cartoon in who could have the shittier story. The first movie was about Daniel, the second movie was about Miyagi, and this movie is about the two breaking up...I guess. If that weren't lame enough, they decided to throw in nonsensical plot elements and an over the top villain with such an asinine plan that could only work in Hollywood. I want to fucking crane kick everyone involved!

You knew this was going to suck the moment the film opens with a mistake. Why would you try to set the story only one year after the end of the first movie? Essentially, part one ended in December 1984, part two took place summer of 1985, and this garbage takes place in fall/winter 1985. Typically you could pull this off, but Ralph Macchio was looking too old I felt. Also, if they allowed real time to pass, that would open up options to take the plot in a new direction with Daniel having time to perfect his karate. Oh well, the biggest problem was that they immediately write Kumiko and Yukie out of the script! Ugh. Are you fucking kidding me here?! I don't even know what to say--it's that stupid. For Kumiko we get a line about how she decided to go to a dance school in Tokyo. Riiight. And Yukie is...uhh...cleaning up in Okinawa? Hell if I know. They couldn't or didn't want to bring back the love interests, but you bring back that fucking old lady who had ONE scene in the first movie?! Arrrgghhh. Urge to crane kick writer rising! How are you going to cheapen the experience of part two this blatantly and not expect backlash?

There's something about Danny and Miyagi needing money, because Miyagi lost his job or whatever. Danny-boy decides to use his college money to buy Miyagi a store to sell bonsai trees. Yeah, that's totally going to work out. This leads to Danny meeting the supposed love interest for the film: Jessica. Okay, not only is Jessica lame as all fuck, but she makes it clear up front she has a boyfriend and only wants to be Danny-boy's friend. Ugh. From Ali to Kumiko to the fucking friendzone?! Arrrrgg. Allegedly some claim this was a last minute change due to Mr. Macchio's wife or that some felt the actress playing Jessica was too young. I don't care if either are true, because neither changes the fact that this is beyond idiotic! Okay...soooo...maybe they were going for a more realistic approach this time around, right? Cue the over the top villain who actually says his business is revenge! I hate this movie. The reason why they wanted the story to take place one year later is so that Daniel would be defending his title from winning the tournament. Danny-boy isn't going to do it, but the villain, Terry Silver, wants to use the tournament to humiliate Danny so he concocts this farfetched scheme. Apparently Silver is the owner of the Cobra Kai franchise and wants to help Kreese, from part one, since they believe Danny-boy and Miyagi ruined his career...or whatever. To his credit, Silver is amusing, but does he have to be smirking in every damn scene! It's like he's winking at the audience or something. "Hi, I'm evil...in case you couldn't tell."

Silver hires some bitch-boy to screw with Danny in order to force him to join the tournament. Somehow things work out that Danny is pressured to join the tournament, due to various dumb reasons, and he wants Miyagi to train him more. Miyagi refuses and the two get all emo together and it comes off stupid rather than endearing as it was with part two. Silver tries to turn Daniel to the darkside claiming he will help Danny beat the bitch-boy. Silver keeps calling Daniel, Danny-boy, while training him. Hey, that's my line! Antics ensue as many stupid scenes occur. Danny STILL finds ways of getting his ass kicked as well. Eventually Daniel realizes what's happening when Miyagi comes to save the baby. Blah blah blah, you know what happens. Danny-boy joins the tournament, gets his ass handed to him, and then wins at the last second. Never saw that shit coming. What a miserable and pathetic end to what could have been a legendary trilogy.

You know, this wouldn't have been so bad if they at least made Danny-boy tougher finally! It's the third movie and he's as helpless as he was in the beginning of part one...maybe worse! Pretty much all the ideas for this movie suck. They shit all over part two as if that didn't leave them plenty of room to continue. Hell they could have traveled to China or something to learn the origins of where the Miyagi family's karate came from. Silver is ridiculous, but he's probably the best part of this movie. The lameness to the love interest was terrible, and the entire film felt like a rehash of part one. Despite this, the film is mostly competent in other respects. If it weren't for the fact that this was the real part 3, this could have passed for a mediocre ripoff on its own. I hate this movie tremendously, but I will generously say it is average and bland and call it a day.

Notable Moment: When Danny-boy finally figures out he's being tricked by Silver, and, not only gets his ass kicked, like usual, but runs away like a huge bitch. If any scene demonstrated how idiotically they handled this character, this would be that moment.

Final Rating: 5/10