Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: After escaping a mental institution, a deranged man returns to his childhood home to embark on a murder spree.
Review: Whoever wrote the wikipedia and imdb pages for this movie is either a complete imbecile or a trolling genius. Yeah...this movie is simply about the killer trying to prove his innocence. Good one. When I said I was going to scrape the bottom of the barrel for Halloween horror, I meant it! Imagine a movie completely comprised of ripoff moments from better horror films, and you have this movie. Come to think of it, most garbage being produced in the last 10-15 years has been excused by low-budgets, but the original "Halloween" was low-budget and look what it accomplished. The worst part of this film is definitely the killer himself. Despite having the superhuman strength to put his hand through an orderly's throat, and being a big guy, this idiot is beaten up by a skinny girl (badly), disarmed on two separate occasions, and taken hostage! HOSTAGE?! Wow...just wow. Can you imagine--say--Michael Myers taken hostage by some fodder character? The idea is so ludicrous it's hilarious to even consider it. Well, I must hand it to this film, it certainly made me laugh.
The film opens by fusing "Silent Night, Deadly Night" with "Halloween 4" by introducing us to our bitch boy killer as a child. The kid's mom is raped and killed by some masked goons who were hired by the dad to kill the mom...for whatever reason we never learn. When they shoot the mom in the head, the bullet goes through and hits a boiler that magically burns the kid horrifically. Riiiiight...because that would totally happen. They later explain the dad boarded up the mom's body in a wall and then the dad killed himself. I honestly don't know; the film is extremely vague on details. Maybe the kid killed the dad--who cares--but this leads to the kid being locked in a mental institution for years while also being the most over the top burn victim. The actor is clearly wearing a shitty mask, but I'll give them an A for effort. Seriously, the kid was not burned on his whole body, the burn wouldn't have been that bad, and even if it were, he would have undergone surgeries to look more normal. Nice try. Anyway, the orderlies conveniently torment the killer until he snaps and escapes. Way to ripoff the stupid "Halloween" remake! Hold on...(checks imdb)...this movie was made in 2006 and that godforsaken Rob Zombie piece of shit came out in 2007. Robby, you ripped this movie off?! THIS MOVIE?! I might have to go back and lower my rating even more.
Due to contrivances, a group of losers are having a Halloween party at the killer's house. The main loser has a prank planned that conveniently allows the killer to slip into the party unnoticed, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. First off, the main loser gives his girlfriend a necklace that, as you may easily guess, belonged to the killer's mom. I'm glad that was pointlessly hanging around--and that scene definitely wasn't completely forced. The killer is hanging out at a gas station (probably looking for a jumpsuit) when one of the losers show up just as they are preparing to get into costume. The killer takes the costume and the abundance of cornball weapons he, again, was conveniently carrying. I mean, what are the odds that a crazed killer obsessed with Halloween would escape on Halloween, run into a guy dressing up for a prank at that killer's very house, on the exact night a group are having a party at said house?! Sounds legit. The killer suddenly teaches himself how to drive a car through sheer willpower. Wait, are you honestly trying to take a shot at the original "Halloween" with that scene? Fuck you!
With the lame party underway, the killer shows up just in time for shenanigans. Although, didn't he kill like 3 people when he first walked in the door? No one noticed those dead bodies when leaving? I have to say, this party is utterly pathetic. It looks like someone panicked and threw it together in a couple hours. The costumes people wear are especially terrible as well. I mean, one asshole is wearing a paper plate for god's sake! Oh for the love of fuck. The only redeeming aspect was a random pirate girl, that shows up late, who was very attractive; I would have enjoyed a movie about her! Anyway, the prank plays out with the dumb hostage scene I was talking about. This entire sequence is too painful to explain, so let's move on. Once the killer is alone with a few losers, and realizes it was fake, he kills them in an attempt to make it back to the party. This killer loves slinking around like a fucking goofball too. The party is broken up by one, horribly acted cop as the remaining losers are sort of mad at the prank. The killer eventually picks everyone off but spares the girlfriend due to that dumb necklace and ties her up. Never would have seen that coming. Good lord, did the "Friday the 13th" remake rip this movie off too?! We then come to the scene when the killer tries to kill one of the better looking chicks and gets his ass kicked. He only narrowly survives this encounter; come the fuck on, man! There's something about the killer going apeshit and uncovering the mom's body from the wall followed by that girlfriend shooting the killer anticlimactically. When the cops are cleaning up, in a nearly unbearably acted scene, we realize the killer did a switcheroo with his body and the main loser's body. The movie ends with the killer escaping, wearing that fucking stupid paper plate mask, and conveniently being picked up by a passerby. Believe me, no one in their right mind would pick this guy up even if it were Halloween. Also, I like the cop's sunglasses appearing and disappearing between shots.
I know I'm technically rating this higher than "Hallow's Eve," but, in truth, I preferred that movie. This movie is overwhelmingly dumb and the ripoff moments are hard to tolerate; although, it is amusing to think this piece of shit inspired other movies! This killer is one of the worst I have ever had the misfortune to come across, and that's saying something. The acting is terrible, the story is weak, and there is a general sense of incompetence at every turn. With that said, the kills are not bad, the dialogue can, at times, feel believable and genuinely funny, and there was a fair amount of chickadees going topless (although none were really my type aside from pirate girl who remained clothed). Considering this film was made by "The Asylum" company, it isn't as bad as the rest of their abominations. Overall, this is a terrible movie, but it has its moments and straddles the so-bad-it's-good line to the point that I imagine others will enjoy the story.
Notable Moment: When the killer is taken hostage of course. New levels of idiocy were achieved with that feat. Congratulations.
Final Rating: 4/10
Random pirate girl: I think her name may have been Natalie Defay.
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