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Thursday, November 12, 2015

Tales from the Dark 2 Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Consisting of three more stories, this is the second half of the ambitious, 2-film anthology series from Hong Kong

Review: While I generally enjoyed the first film's stories for what they were, the tales this time around are blander and nonsensical. This isn't to say they are terrible, but they aren't very good or memorable either. I will say this--these stories had a lot of potential to be better yet they did not capitalize on their ideas in a sensible manner. And, alas, there is no longer an abundance of cute girls to ease the situation (womp womp); the main chick in the first story is decent though. Okay, let's take a look at what we have this time around.

Pillow: Well...this segment is unique that's for sure. A woman has been spying on her boyfriend to find out if he's still involved with his ex. They make it so unclear as to what is going on with this ex, because the boyfriend gives her money but isn't cheating or something. I don't know. The main girl freaks out, somewhat deservedly, as the boyfriend bails on the situation after the girl destroys his little boaty. Sometime later the main girl is getting stressed out over the boyfriend not contacting her, and this, seemingly, causes her to have insomnia. She eventually buys a...groan...haunted pillow from a random shopkeeper. This tale tries to take a few twists and turns, but they're incredibly stupid revelations. For one, we come to learn the boyfriend is really dead all along from when their scuffle got out of hand. I suppose the insomnia is due to this, but why does she not seem to remember her actions? None of this matters, because the main point of the story is that the girl can only sleep when using this haunted pillow. During this sleep, our little chickadee has dreams where she does nothing but fuck the boyfriend's ghost. But wait, there's more! It's not really the ghost of the boyfriend at all but some kind of otherworldly entity that is draining away the girl's life force--some kind of incubus or something. After not explaining anything, the segment ends abruptly as the cops find the girl in a catatonic state as we assume the incubus-thing finishes her off. Whaaaat? This whole tale plays out like an erotica book you'd see in the checkout line. Lame as fuck. The look and tone of the story were decent though, and, like I said, the main chick was very cute in that "I haven't slept in two weeks" kind of way.

Hide and Seek: This particular segment felt a lot like "The Shock Labyrinth 3D." A bunch of, I guess, college kids are visiting their old elementary school after hearing it will be torn down. Surprise, the school is haunted by various staff and students who died from SARS. Apparently this group wants to make an entire day out of dicking around this school; they seriously discuss staying over night. At one point they decide to play a kind of hide and seek I've never heard of whereby your goal is to find a specific person in an allotted time. The ghosts decide they want in on this hot fire and kind of screw with the group. There were a few amusing aspects to this story, like joking about Sadako, but the best part was when a mural of kids came to life. Not knowing how to end this story, the ghosts whisk away the little sister of this group before we suddenly learn they're all dead. Dude, I don't fucking know! The last thing we see is that now the group are shown to be on the mural. Whatever. I did like the atmosphere of this segment, but they clearly had no idea how to handle their own material. There were ample opportunities to be scary yet they chose not to embrace them.

Black Umbrella: I suppose they saved the best for last once more, but that wasn't saying much here. An old, small man, mistaken for a child at one point, roams around the city helping random and ungrateful strangers. Each time he helps someone he adds a notch to his umbrella; what that's all about you can interpret in many ways. At the same time, we are shown a prostitute trying to give a sob story that will become completely irrelevant by the end; the useless nature of this buildup forces me to call this shit pretentious. Eventually, the old man crosses paths with the prostitute who tries to swindle the old man. After realizing he has no money, the prostitute then tries to cry rape. When a wannabe tough guy shows up--one that the old man already dealt with earlier--you think the old man will get beat up. Well, if this weren't a horror movie you'd think that. A higher level crony stops by later and finds that the old man is some kind of creature that is eating the tough guy and prostitute. I suppose we could draw the conclusion that the old man does good deeds to make up for the times he kills people. Instead of leaving well enough alone, however, we get a shot of the prostitute as a ghost now wandering about. Ugh. Despite the lackluster conclusion, this was a mostly entertaining story even if completely predictable.

Overall, I think you'd be better off sticking with just the first film; you certainly won't be missing out on much with this followup. These three stories are simply underwhelming and do not know how to end. There were interesting ideas strewn about, but there is a lack of focus throughout all six installments--it's simply more noticeable in these three stories. If anything, the six stories should have been reordered to divide out the time better between the two films; this film barely clocks in at 90 minutes whereas the first movie was nearly two hours. This would also have allowed for a, sorely missing, wraparound segment to tie these stories together. I mean, it appeared they were going for a certain theme so it would only make sense to have a unifying aspect.

Notable Moment: During the "Hide and Seek" segment when the ghosts come out of the mural. This was a great effect, but the ghosts are hardly utilized.

Final Rating: 5/10

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