Jack Frost (1997) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A serial killer, mutated by an experimental acid, seeks revenge against the small-town sheriff that arrested him.

Review: First order of business: try not to confuse this "Jack Frost" with the 1998 film starring Michael Keaton; apparently a good portion of the general public can't tell the difference simply by looking at the cover. Anyway...this is a movie about a killer snowman so I think you know the levels of cheesiness we will be dealing with. More so, the story and shenanigans easily launch this into so-bad-it's-good territory. Somehow the makers balance amusing kills, original ideas, and over the top scenarios with just the right pacing to make it fun. Rarely can a cornball horror movie successfully revel in its own campy setup, and come out entertaining in the process, the way "Jack Frost" is able to do.

I'm just going to list the zany antics that happen in no particular order. The most notorious scene from this film is a pre-"American Pie" Shannon Elizabeth getting fucked to death by Jack Frost. Apparently someone working on the film wondered "where's the carrot" in that scene. Yes...where indeed. The sheriff's dumbass son tried giving his dad cookies filled with antifreeze. Of course that turns out to be JF's weakness, but is this kid special? Speaking of which, they have a reoccurring character hidden in a lot of the scenes simply called "idiot." The best part of this character is he doesn't even care that a killer snowman is running around, and he got a special thanks in the credits! JF has a nearly endless variety of snow-related jokes that are so stupid they're funny; I mean, he just randomly blurts out shit like "don't eat yellow snow" for no reason. What kind of divine intervention would create a situation where JF, about to be executed, passes through the same little town where he was caught at the exact moment a truck crashes into the transport carrying an experimental acid? Does that sentence even make sense? Probably not. Oh well. I like when that one random bully appears just to get killed in the most implausible way imaginable. They want to go sledding on the town sheriff's driveway? Whaaaat? JF is blown up in an explosion and almost immediately recovers, but he's scared of blow-dryers with the longest cords known to man? By the way, the priest using his blow-dryer in a blessing manner is awesome. Obviously you have to watch the closing credits--the added jokes make the entire film that much more entertaining. Finally, who the hell were all those weirdos hiding out at the town hall? I think we even hear a goat at one point. Ehh...there are no words...

It should go without saying, but this movie is not for everyone. I'm not even saying it's good--simply, it delivers exactly what you would expect and then some. However, unlike movies that turned out to be hilarious shit unintentionally, this is one of those times where they knew exactly what they were doing. As Todd Howard would say: it just works. The fun the cast and crew were having is almost palpable in each increasingly ridiculous scene. The snowy, Christmas tone is decent, the kills are good, and the balls to walls nature of the story works wondrously. If you love holiday horror, you need to check this shit out immediately.

Notable Moment: It seems all anyone remembers is the rape scene, but I die of laughter when that kid is decapitated by a sled and the head goes flying in the air.

Final Rating: 6/10

Bonus: The only other thing I want to mention is I wrote a story, when I was, around, 8 years old, simply called "The Killer Snowman." The plot is remarkably similar to this movie except my story was made anywhere from 1991-93. Maybe they were trolling a little kid? In my story a kid made a snowman that was splashed with a chemical after a car accident. After that the snowman began killing people I knew in real life since I often would include my classmates in my stories. This is something my friends and even my teacher liked, but I would probably receive therapy for it nowaday. Toward the end, the snowman was absorbing all the snow in the area to make himself a giant on a rampage. Eventually he was led to a foundry where he was melted. That's it. Hey, I didn't say it was great--what do you expect from a little kid?! I wrote a sequel as well, but I can't remember what happened in that one. All I can vaguely remember is the snowman was resurrected somehow after part of the snow didn't melt. I now plan to file a lawsuit against whatever a Frost Bite Films, LTD. is supposed to be.