Friday, July 29, 2016
The House on Sorority Row Review
Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: After a prank gone wrong, a group of graduates are picked off by a mysterious killer.
Review: I know some fans may have an attachment to this little slasher, but I never stumbled upon it until Randy mentioned it during "Scream 2" so I may be a little biased. This was close to being a good film too, but it falls apart during the climax and doesn't really have an ending--it just ends. The story itself isn't necessarily the problem--though, it is cookie cutter--it simply lacks anything of distinction; we needed some plot element or twist that made it stand out among the countless slew of '80s slashers. It certainly wasn't doing the audience any favors by including one of the most busted up-looking sororities imaginable. Why does everyone look like they're 40 to boot? I mean, seriously, check out that party scene for proof!
One major positive I can say is that the kill count is high for this era. I doubt you could kill that many people with a cane (the killer's weapon of choice), but, hey, maybe the killer sharpened it? Speaking of which, the revelation regarding the killer is lame. A wannabe Jason scenario except we don't receive any payoff? No thanks. I'd be inclined to overlook this facet had they made the killer dress up in that jester costume the whole time. I get that they wanted there to be ambiguity regarding the identity, but the costume was too cool to waste arbitrarily. Of course, the defeat of the killer is also mishandled. Ignoring the fact that the main chick couldn't land a single bullet at point-blank range, she manages to pull a knife out of her ass to put the guy down. However, he merely springs to life, like all good killers do, and that is the point they decide to roll credits? Um, no. Maybe if the cops had already come and we thought the main chick was out of danger...then you could end it that way but not before. I don't know, dude, there are a lot of goofy moments all over the place.
Overall, this is a textbook '80s slasher with little else going for it. There are a few amusing aspects, and a lot of people do bite the dust, yet, there is a hollow feeling to the experience. Maybe if the reveal of the killer weren't so lackluster things would feel better. Not sure how they could have corrected this, but, as it stands, this is like a combination of "Friday the 13th" meets "Prom Night." Not a bad combination at all...nothing special either. I'd still say check this out if you ever wanted to run down Randy's list from "Scream 2." Plus, you can't go wrong with your millionth slasher.
Notable Moment: When that one chick, as if momentarily suffering a stroke, provides one of the worst line deliveries in cinema history. "How do we know she is alive?" You said it, sweetie.
Final Rating: 5.5/10
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