TXT (Filipino 2006) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After her abusive boyfriend is killed, a woman is haunted by his vengeful spirit.

Review: To kick off this year's Asian horror month I thought I'd start with a Filipino film starring the beautiful and sultry, Angel Locsin. Unfortunately, Ms. Locsin is the only thing going for this "One Missed Call" ripoff. Maybe that's not fair--"TXT" did give us a male ghost for once...which just reminds me why sticking to a female ghost is the way to go. It's the hair I tell you! Actually, the main reason why the ghost looks so lame is due to terrible lighting. Unless you have a makeup effect akin to Natre, coupled with the naturally creepy face of Achita Sikamana, you will need lighting techniques to enhance the look; either that or fuck with the color of the picture flat out. Besides failing entirely with the scares, the story is too generic, drawn out, and boring, needlessly clocking in at almost two hours; dude, your story ain't that fucking compelling. Actually, this probably wouldn't have been half bad if Ms. Locsin were cast as the ghost and they played it more sexy. Hmmm...a man can dream...

 These chickadees and their fuckin' smirks!

So the story begins right as the boyfriend, Roman, is killed in a car accident while Ms. Locsin's character, Joyce, is driving. I love that he mockingly calls her Joycey-girl. Anyway, shortly after this incident, Roman returns as a ghost bent on killing anyone that badmouths him in death. Yeaaah...I wish I were making that up for his motivation. Roman's strategy is to send a photo text from the future of that person's death. Don't even think about the logistics of how this works. Unlike "One Missed Call" where this kinda made sense in context, in "TXT" this feels so forced rather than an inescapable destiny. While Joycey-girl's friends begin to die, she realizes that the guy she has been friendzoning for god knows how long, Alex, is the man for her. Oh goodness gracious. Well, better late than never, right? With the help of some spiritualist, or whatever the hell he was, Joycey-girl realizes that Roman actually wants her to somehow be bound with him in death. Come to think of it, did this film ever suggest a way to even defeat Roman? Could have called Sam and Dean at the very least. At the end, once Joyce manages to escape this binding to Roman, Roman magically gains the ability to possess Alex. And just as you think the climax is about to commence, the film suddenly ends as if Alex becoming possessed was like this big plot twist or something. Typically, I'd suggest ways to continue on with a sequel, but fuck this shit! Or, you know what, how about the porn parody: SXXXT. Huh? Huh?

I'd like to imagine this is how she looks when reading my review. So angry yet so sexy!

I was almost going to give this an average rating since it's not complete garbage, but that ending combined with the running time is what killed it for me. The scares are weak, the ghost looks cheap, the pacing is horrendous, the characters are stock, and the story lacks originality. On the other hand, this is a rare instance of a male ghost and Angel Locsin is easily one of the most attractive Filipinas ever. Believe me, there are better Filipino horror movies out there like "Sukob" and "Feng Shui," but those don't have Ms. Locsin so it's a trade-off. Unless you're a big fan of someone involved with this production, I'd suggest passing on "TXT."

Notable Moment: When Ida is trying to act all tough in the cemetery. This scene is so comically stupid and over the top that it becomes awesome!

Final Rating: 4.5/10