Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: The remake...of a remake...of a remake. What could possibly go wrong?
Review: Maybe it's not fair to call this a remake? It's more of a "soft reboot" which is merely Hollywood bullshit-speak for remake. And, well, this is about as horrifically bad as you'd expect. Goodness gracious, how many times are we going to tell this tale?! Let's put some things in perspective shall we? "Ju-on: The Curse" was an incredible, made-for-TV horror tale. This was followed up by a theatrical remake, "Ju-on: The Grudge," that actually upped the quality in every regard. Then we come to the American remake, simply titled "The Grudge," that was almost on par with the original. So that's 3 versions as it is. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Japan decided they wanted to destroy the franchise so they also did a reboot with "Ju-on: The Beginning of the End." Finally, we come to this waste of time also titled "The Grudge." So we are at--count 'em--FIVE times this story has been told! Listen to Michael Jordan and, please, stop it, get some help!
As this movie began I actually had hope for a few fleeting minutes. Surprisingly, there is an attempt to make this a legitimate sequel to the American remake by showing a woman at the Saeki house, mentioning Yoko, and an appearance by Kayako. When they showed this, and the film flashing dates, I thought maybe--maybe--the filmmakers were about to bring everything full circle somehow, revealing something we never knew from the start perhaps. Maybe we would come to find out more about Kayako's motives or something. In fact, this movie even tries to simplify some of the issues of the franchise whereby explaining that the curse makes it so that everyone who enters the house across all time, past, present, and future, are all connected. The movie doesn't utilize this plot point whatsoever, but at least there was an attempt. Again, this led me to believe the events of this movie would somehow tie everything together. Nope.
So what do we actually get? We get a beat for beat retelling of the events we already know except tweaked in the weakest of ways. Instead of a husband killing his wife and drowning his son we have a wife killing her husband and drowning her daughter. What a change. Instead of a woman in the shower and the hand coming out the hair, it's a guy. Instead of a male detective it's a female one. Which, by the way, what the fuck happened to Andrea Riseborough? She was a super hottie in "Oblivion" and now she's playing her own grandma it would seem. Anyway, you get the gist of it; the changes are superficial and meaningless when we are seeing the same events reenacted. We never see Kayako again outside of crime scene photos so that's just fantastic. Oh, sure, there are a couple changes like some lady trying to assist in a suicide or the realtor being more pivotal to the plot but big whoop. The ending is significantly dumber so the filmmakers can take credit for that accomplishment at least, right?
What really annoys me about this version is using stupid CGI ghosts. Takako Fuji as Kayako, with practical makeup, looks intimidating. These goofy CGI ghosts running at the screen are painful to the eyes. More to the point, when you've told this tale this many times, the scares have lost all effect. What I don't get is why no one capitalizes on "Ju-on: The Grudge 2?" Why the insistence to retell the events of the first movie endlessly? I have no idea what anyone involved with this disaster was thinking, but this was a complete waste and bland as hell even if you've never watched any other entries from this series. If you're a fan of the franchise then I suppose you can attempt to endure the idiocy one more time, however, if you have already watched any number of the previous FOUR versions of this movie then you can stay far, far away.
Notable Moment: That little tease at the beginning with Kayako and the original house. Oh man, if only they kept these kind of ideas going throughout.
Final Rating: 4/10
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