Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A series of low-budget tales related to Halloween.
Review: I've covered so many of these low-budget anthologies over the years that I'm starting to wonder why anyone keeps making them. While these particular stories were admittedly on the original side, they're still rough around the edges and, ultimately, lack any kind of substance. My main gripe is that these particular segments drag on far too long to pad out the run time. Also, the acting can be utterly painful at times. So let's check this shit out.
Wraparound: This hardly qualifies as a wraparound in my book. We get a wannabe Elvira that introduces the movie and then closes things out. There are no interludes or reactions to each individual story so that sucks.
The Old Hag: I suppose this is the best entry of the five...which isn't saying much. Two guys are trying to make an advertisement for some bed and breakfast. The one guy sees the titular hag lurking about the old mansion until it comes to kill them in their sleep. The caretaker of the mansion apparently can't sleep unless people die? Whatever.
Trespassers: This was complete nonsense. A couple on their first date visit some haunted farm. There's something about a scarecrow and Farmer John killing his family. But, wait, it's actually vampires or something. The guy comes ready to slay vampires, including his date, but then becomes one himself? I don't know.
Killing the Dance: This was torture--talk about dicking around. Some chick is going to run away with her girlfriend or something? But she decides to hang around at a roller rink and watch everyone skating in an endless, dizzying circle until the characters themselves are bored. Finally, a killer appears to slash everyone up. Turns out that it's the girl's unhinged mom as the killer. But, wait, there's more! The brother of the main chick has psychic powers and blows up the mom's head. Okay then.
The Halloween Blizzard of '91: There was potential here to go far outside the box, but, alas, this story is a failure. A rare snow storm on Halloween cancels the festivities for the most part as a family remains indoors. You'd think the family would have a bigger reaction when they still get creepy trick or treaters at the door but nope. Then Santa shows up, because people are starting to like Halloween more than Christmas. Whaaaaat? Whatever these people are smoking pass that shit my way.
The Samhain Slasher: Closing things out is this cornball "Halloween" ripoff. Totally not Michael Myers is on the loose killing people. We see ghosts or demons just for the hell of it which makes no sense. Eventually fake Michael Myers kills everyone. The end. Wowwee. What a story, Mark.
I forgive low-budget movies quite often, but this was pretty tough to slog through. Each story simply drags on with bad effects, bad lighting, bad acting, and aimless direction. So many shots are zoomed in considerably to hide the background limitations which makes for a terrible viewing experience. I was honestly surprised I didn't fall asleep, because I was getting bored as hell. I can appreciate the originality to these stories, but that's about the best compliment I can give out. This is an easy pass.
Notable Moment: When Santa appears out of left field. Hey, why not, right?
Final Rating: 3.5/10
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