Battleship Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Idiotic aliens try to invade Earth in the most implausible manner possible, and only a band of equally idiotic navy personel can stop them.

Review: Let me get what little is good about this film out of the way. The visuals are nice, most of the special effects look impressive (even if they look like transformers), and some action scenes are fun. Brooklyn Decker has a nice body. That's pretty much all I can say positive about this film. Now this movie has one of the worst introductions of a main character you could imagine; it only gets worse and worse as it progresses. I couldn't get over how nonsensical the aliens were. They have no discernable motivation and their actions are conflicting. For some reason they don't kill non-threats, yet they are planning an invasion? They can traverse the galaxy but crash like a drunk driver into a satelite upon arrival? They can withstand the forces of space but outdated bombshells can blow them to hell and back?! UGH! Everything about this movie is just so stupid! The acting is laughable, there is no character development, the aliens are completely uninspired, and the plot is on the level of '50s drive-in shit. The thing that really makes this movie unbearable is that it's over two hours long! My goodness...what the hell were they thinking?! Whatever you do, do not waste your time watching this trash, and more so, do not waste any money!

Notable Moment: When the retired navy veterans have to help the main crew start up the battleship. They appear out of nowhere and march in slow motion; this is one of the dumbest scenes I've ever had the misfortune to watch in my life.

Final Rating: 4/10