Check out my updated review! http://thevagrantrises.blogspot.com/2015/03/updated-review-7-howling-vii-new-moon.html
Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A stranger investigates weird deaths in a small town full of idiots and bad special effects.
Review: I figured, what better way to compliment reviewing my favorite franchise and my favorite movies than with my most hated movie I've ever watched. While the werewolf-themed "Howling" franchise is "okay," its crowing jewel is none other than part VII or New Moon Rising...eh, does it even matter? I don't even know where to begin with this complete mess of a film; I'm not sure if it even deserves to be called a film because this movie fails in virtually every regard to film making! The very first scene is laughably bad with terrible dialogue, pathetic "acting," and shoddy film quality. Trust me, it only gets worse from there...much worse! After all these years, I'm still baffled by the choices they made when creating this piece of shit. The main problem is that the town they picked to film is where they decided to get all the actors for this movie. Now this might not be too bad if they didn't pick the most ridiculous, stupid town that must exist in the USA: Pioneer Town (I still question if this is even real). Even worse, the "actors" are merely playing themselves and 90% of the dialogue are inside jokes that the audience has absolutely no clue in regard to what they are talking about. Enhancing the painfully, cringe worthy dialogue is that these "jokes" are constantly being laughed at by the "characters" as if it's the funniest shit they've ever heard...ugh it makes me want to kill someone! Oh wait, it gets worse: the vast majority of the "plot" are these stupid jokes and pointless, throwaway scenes; you begin to wonder what does a werewolf have to do with anything?! There are a few so-called actors reappearing from the previous installments, but their acting is nearly as horrendous. Believe it or not, it gets even worse; when we finally see the "werewolf" the transformation is done using hysterically bad effects and the final form is just a halloween mask and gloves! The werewolf even dies off screen as does every other death in this sad excuse for a horror film. Speaking of which, when the "werewolf" is killing someone, they just make the lens color red and then show someone screaming. It's just all so embarrassing. Little kids with a phone camera could seriously make a better film. The music is stock, the acting is on par with an elementary school play, the characters are stupid and annoying, the plot is nonexistant, there is no horror to be found, nothing works, and even the film quality itself is so bad you'd think the movie is 10-15 years older than it is. It did manage to keep the camera steady for the most part, so this film has that going for it. I fucking hate this movie! "Howling VII" needs to be experienced so that people fully appreciate the effort that goes into REAL film making. There are probably a few, rare movies worse than this so that's why I rated it just barely above a 1/10. I need to reserve that bottom spot for the absolute worst film known to mankind.
Notable Moment: When Ted says, "You're fucking done!" It is supposed to be tough, but I died of laughter. I've been saying this line ever since.
Final Rating: 1/10
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