Helldriver Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After a comet crashes in Japan, half the population is turned into zombies that an android girl must stop by defeating her mother who has literally ripped out her heart.

Review: As you may have guessed from reading that ridiculous plot description, this is another one of those overly bloody splatterfests with cheap ass effects. Now I have already stressed that I don't really like these films overall with the exception of a few like "The Machine Girl" and "Deadball," but how does this film stand up to those? Not very well unfortunately. Considering the goal of most of these kind of movies is shock and awe, or whatever the hell they want to invoke out of the audience, I found myself bored and no longer surprised when I see random bullshit that makes no sense. I don't know what really went wrong here because the story had some potential to pull out many over the top moments, but never really delivered anything beyond the standard fare in this sub-genre. Or maybe that was the problem; it never raised the bar or introduced an element we hadn't watched before and, dare I say, played it safe? Is that even possible with these kind of films?

So, I mention "The Machine Girl" quite often when referring to over the top films from Japan, because I feel it is the best one out there and good for a comparison basis. The lead here, Kika, played by Yumiko Hara, is too bland without any real backstory or drive to her plight. Let's face it, she's no Minase Yashiro (yum!) as far as looks, talent, and presence are concerned, but she does the best with what she could. Turning her into some kind of android was okay, and I did love the notion of a chainsaw sword. But beyond a somewhat cute girl running around with a cool sword, there's nothing more to her character except that she wants revenge on her crazed mother who killed her dad and abused her while simultaneously being transformed into this zombie queen; oh, and then there's the whole stealing the heart issue but it never really has relevance to the plot. Her mother, Rikka (hey, that's too close to my precious Rika), played by the iconic Eihi Shiina of "Audition" fame, is mostly wasted as all she does is sort of rock back and forth and laugh; I don't know how else to explain it. The final battle between the two wasn't even as epic as it should have been despite a creative setup. All the other background characters aren't even worth mentioning since they're pretty much useless, and we have no sense for who they are. It's hard to explain, but the characters felt empty and with little conviction unlike my dear Ms. Yashiro who carried "The Machine Girl" splendidly while looking oh so delicious along the way! At the same time, the story plays out too straightforward (well about as conventional as these films go) with some kind of societal message I'm not fully grasping. I mean, there are moments of "what the fuck?" but those aren't phasing me at this point, and there was no real attempt to pull off some decent jokes, gags, or setups as "Deadball" successfully accomplished. You have alien zombies, an android girl with no heart, and all kinds of shenanigans and you can't even make that interesting? Plus, this film clocks in at nearly two hours which surprises me all the more that they couldn't bring something new to the table in all that time. Even the title card and opening credits don't roll until the 48 minute mark; although I did think that was a unique touch. I'm not even exaggerating, but I had to view this film in intervals, because I was getting so bored and I always watch every film to its conclusion...well, except for "Elizabeth Town" (I shudder at the thought!). The director/writer/everything under the sun is a veteran of this sub-genre to boot so I expected something original or at least amusing.

Overall, there are some okay ideas, like the chainsaw sword, and a few decent scenes worth viewing, but don't expect to be dazzled. The film is too long and boring when it should have filled that void with either humor or better action or both. The acting ranges from weak to acceptable and the characters are as one dimensional as they come. There's really no use criticizing the quality or production value since these kind of films always look so shitty, but, to be fair, that is half the charm and attraction. I don't know what else to say, because I simply feel this film should/could have been better. Damn it, the film is called "Helldriver" and there's hardly any driving, only one major car chase, and Kika only drives the car herself once! That fact should give you a good indication of how nonsensical many of the choices were. Eh, this is an easy pass for just about everyone including fans of the sub-genre, but if you feel inclined to watch anyway, just be aware of all that I've said.

Notable Moment: When Kika must fight Rikka atop a giant mass of zombies formed into one gigantic humanoid creature which eventually can fly. It sounds better than it turns out to be.

Final Rating: 4.5/10