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Friday, August 23, 2013

The House Where Evil Dwells Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After an American family moves into a home in rural Japan, they find themselves haunted by ghosts as zany antics ensue.

Review: When someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage...oh wait, wrong movie! Well, to be fair, this film is much, much older than "The Grudge" or any of the "Ju-on" films for that matter, but the similarities are hard to ignore. But don't let that deceptive title confuse you--these ghosts are about as threatening as Casper and are more annoying than anything. House where evil dwells my ass! Actually, beyond surface level plot elements, this piece of shit has nothing on the "Ju-on" franchise, and this is pretty much run of the mill garbage I'd expect from the early '80s. I'd like to believe there were some good ideas originally imagined, but the execution is so weak and laughable I can't imagine why anyone would think this was the right direction to take this film. The quality is also so piss-poor I kept thinking it was probably a made for TV movie, but apparently this had a theatrical release at some point. Worse yet, this was based on a book, so there's that to  take into consideration.

So the manner in which the "evil" was created is a bit sketchy to say the least. About 150 years before the movie's present, some woman named Otami stole some magic totem from a witch and then gave it to her lover who was also her husband's disciple. The husband caught the two banging, killed them both, and then killed himself. I guess through the magic of the totem the three spirits remain in the home to basically just fuck with new occupants; the movie is not quite clear on this aspect. But you see, that's just it, all the ghosts do is screw with people; there doesn't appear to be any other aim except to be as annoying as possible. Sure, they begin to ruin the American family's relationship, but it's mostly because that family was so stupid to begin with. Otami is no Kayako that's for sure, and the other two goofball ghosts are equally pointless since they rarely do anything except act like idiots. It doesn't even entirely make sense either because Otami can appear outside of the house. I should probably mention the ghosts don't look scary at all and they possess the family members too easily even if to say one thing. I don't get it. What is the point to it all?! By the end, the three ghosts possess the husband, wife, and some friend, and reenact their original deaths in the most retarded manner imaginable. Now, if the ghosts' goal was to get to this point, why do it in such a roundabout way, and it only worked this way due to contrivances. There were other occupants mentioned to have lived in the house before so what became of them since no previous deaths were mentioned? Lastly, the daughter of the family appears to have been written out of the script at one point because she ends up in the hospital and is never seen from again.

Ugh, I guess there were a few okay things going on here. Otami is kind of '80s hot as is the wife I guess. There are some titties and some decent beheadings...um...eh, this movie just sucks. The acting is bad, the effects are bad, the pacing is horrible, the ghosts make no sense and have little purpose, too much lame drama, and it bored me endlessly. I mean, the family friend was beyond dumb since his connection was never properly explained. He appears to be almost like a brother to the main guy yet is very willing to cheat with his wife while she's possessed by Otami. And how come the wife remembers the things she does but never addresses that she's not herself when doing them?! Plus, how do you live in Japan for years and not find a decent woman?! Come on fool, and then you steal your friend's wife? Don't even get me started on the exorcism scene and how ridiculously comedic that turns out to be. Actually, pretty much every scene is beyond pathetic and more humorous than scary. This is an easy pass for sure, but then again, I doubt anyone will really go out of their way to watch this mess.

Notable Moment: I guess when the daughter is being attacked by giant crabs. I mean, this movie is so full of stupid moments, but this has got to be the worst and you can see the string.

Final Rating: 3.5/10

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