Siren (2016) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Before his wedding, a groom encounters a bizarre party and a supernatural creature.

Review: So...if you remember from "V/H/S," there was a segment called "Amateur Night" in which a couple guys pick up a chick from a bar that turns out to be a monster of some sort. Well, this is the feature-length version of that tale. "Amateur Night" was one of the better segments, but was it necessarily worthy of being its own movie? Eh, yes and no. Yes, in the fact that they could have went anywhere with the material, and, no, in the fact that they did not deliver on the premise. I'd also add that it's highly unlikely that this was intended to be a continuation or prequel to "Amateur Night;" the story beats are recreated in the film along with her seemingly finding a perfect mate, hence, negating the short's story line.

Starting with what worked...it was cool to see an expansion of supernatural elements. First, we have clarity that the girl in "Amateur Night" was a siren, but then we get a glimpse at a few other freaks and people who can seemingly wield mystical powers. I'd like to add, the original segment was probably intended to be referenced when the villain, Nyx, calls the people who summoned the siren amateurs. Speaking of which, Nyx was probably the most interesting character of the story given he's the only one who knows how everything works, merely hinting at all the other forces at work. I do want to note that the guy playing Nyx, Justin Welborn, was also Dante the Great from "V/H/S: Viral." Not to be outdone, the original actress, Hannah Fierman, does return as the titular character. She pulls off that creepy vibe quite well...though...I'm not seeing the hot angle whatsoever; I'd lump her in with Achita Sikamana in terms of unusual looks. Hmm, other than these aspects there isn't much else to say...I mean, I did like the mansion party, that moves around, idea, but that's been done plenty of times before.

Now, as for the film's faults, they become quite clear the moment the main characters open their mouths. The acting is significantly worse than I thought it would be. Strangely, it does get better as the story progresses, but, still, it's hard to overlook. This might be a nitpick but--whatever--the lighting was horrendous and hurting my eyes; it's as if each scene were lit up by a single light bulb next to the camera. The siren herself has some shitty effects with a few moments mirroring a sci-fi channel original. You kind of have to see it for yourself, however, "Amateur Night" appeared to handle the effects better and that's just sad. Another annoyance is the unclear limitations of the siren's powers. Is everyone just a shitty shot or do bullets not hurt her? Finally, I'll simply address that there were too many zany antics going on that were not done well; yeah, I'm looking at that tail-rape scene and Jonah's nonchalant phone call afterward--among many other ridiculous scenes.

Overall, this wasn't really that good. Sure, a couple ideas did spice things up, but the entire film fails to be as memorable or scary as the initial short. I think the main problem was the, almost, lighthearted tone the film instilled, intentional or not. When the siren is saying things like "I like you" in this story's context, it comes off as humorous, yet, in the short, this same line was used as an effective form of ominous foreshadowing. It's just little things like this that show a stark contrast in vision between short and movie. The other major detractor is the low-budget presentation that is not masked for shit. Essentially, this is rental material that is easily forgotten in a day, but it didn't have to be that way. "Siren" has its high points, yet, it fails to outdo the short its based upon.

Notable Moment: When Jonah is talking on the phone to his bride to be and is speaking all calmly. Who would just have a little chitchat after being raped by a monster, their friends are dead, and they could die too at any moment?! You wouldn't be like, "Oh hi, honey, it's good to hear your voice." You'd be screaming, "HELP! Call the fucking police, my mom, aunt Ethel...ANYONE! HELP!"

Final Rating: 5.5/10