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Saturday, January 14, 2017

The Last Dragon (aka Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon) Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: While on a journey to become a master, a martial artist must battle a slew of villains while trying to rescue a singer.

Review: Ironically, while trying to create a nod to the Kung Fu films of the '70s, "The Last Dragon" turned into one the most '80s-riffic movies of them all. We are talking such levels of cheese that you'd think someone were parodying the era from today's perspective. For some, this '80s overload might be too much, but, for people like me, this is simply glorious to behold. You have a badass soundtrack (including all kinds of movie-specific songs), outlandish clothes and outfits, big hair, random instances of dancing, pizza (of course), and shenanigans of the highest order. When all of these elements combine you have an extremely fun and entertaining film that is the ultimate product of its time.

To help demonstrate the cornball nature of the plot, I'll cover some of the story beats. Our main character, "Bruce" Leroy, attempts to find a new master after reaching the limits of his current Kung Fu training. Something you will probably notice is that there is very little in the way of Kung Fu with lots of Japanese aspects oddly mixed in. Sure, why not, right? Anyway, Leroy is considered a dorky outcast by his family, owners of a pizza shop. A local villain, the infamous Sho'nuff, wants to fight Leroy...because...he just needs to...but Leroy becomes more concerned with another villain trying to capture a singer named Laura; Laura is played by an '80s hot Vanity. This particular villain, a shady businessman named Eddie Arkadian, eventually switches his focus to killing Leroy after Leroy continually meddles with his scheme. Of course, Leroy and Laura develop a little romance after the frequent rescues and it's some next level cornball shit...but it works. After a constant stream of zany antics, Eddie assembles a horde of fighters to kill Leroy which includes Sho'nuff who has been antagonizing Leroy's friends and family in the background. While trying to rescue Laura, yet again, Leroy struggles with the large number of fighters, but he too is rescued by his Kung Fu students. This fight is downright fun, with a cliched little kid kicking ass, and just all out ridiculousness. Finally, after a huge buildup, Leroy fights Sho'nuff and gains the upper hand. Unfortunately for Leroy, Sho'nuff has supernatural, Kung Fu powers that allow him to overpower Leroy. However, just when Leroy is about to die, he realizes that the master he's been seeking is himself and he too gains these Kung Fu powers, dubbed "the glow." I promise you, it's cooler than it sounds yet still cheesy as fuck. So...with Sho'nuff defeated, Eddie tries to shoot Leroy who can now catch a bullet with his teeth! The cops arrest Eddie out of nowhere, everyone puts on white outfits to dance for no discernible reason, and Leroy finally gets his girl, Laura. Suffice it to say, it's absolutely amazing to watch this plot unfold!

Look, this movie is certainly not for everyone. In fact, there is a good chance the average viewer will think this is borderline retarded. The problems with the film are plain to see with questionable acting, some weak effects, a lack of understanding when it comes to individual Asian cultures, and a general sense of idiocy weighing everything down. Despite these flaws, it's important to understand this is a cult film of epic proportions. The fun factor is simply too much--off the damn charts--and you were never meant to take anything seriously; the filmmakers were definitely having a good time with the material. If you love the '80s, this is one of the quintessential movies for you, a must-watch. I've watched this movie since I was a kid so it's hard for me to imagine what someone would think upon seeing it for the first time. Nevertheless, I am confident that the right audiences will appreciate this prime example of '80s magic where everything just comes together.

Notable Moment: When those two goofballs prop up a boombox and suddenly start dancing in the middle of the movie theater. This is so ridiculously absurd that it becomes awesome!

Final Rating: 6.5/10

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