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Saturday, January 7, 2017

J-Horror Anthology: Legends Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers

Plot Summary: A series of six episodes from a Japanese TV show about various horror legends...supposedly.

Review: First and foremost, that title is what has been slapped on the DVD; the Japanese title is "Inagawa Junji no shinjitsu no horror." So I don't know what others might call this series around the world. What I do know, however, is that the segment, "She Bear" (or She-bear), has been floating around youtube for a long ass time. The other important aspect to note is the extremely low-budget nature of each tale. Some of these stories would have been significantly better with a sufficient budget to back them up. Essentially, this set feels incredibly similar to "Dark Tales of Japan" which I reviewed previously. Although...it's a trade-off since the tales are better here yet the sets and picture quality are noticeably worse. Oh well.

Wraparound(ish): Okay, there isn't an actual wraparound, but there is a wannabe Rod Serling setting up each episode which is the only way to know these tales were from the same series. Considering how short the segments are, it does help to know for certain these are all connected. In fact, despite there being six episodes, the total running time is still only about the length of an average film. As for the wannabe Rod, sometimes his ramblings have little to do with the story. Also, they don't do a very good job of masking his obvious line reading; sure, this is a nitpick, but it takes away a part of the mystery.

Peony Lamp: I don't know what the hell a peony lamp is, and I didn't really see any lamps connected to this tale, but this is the segment that felt closest to any kind of Japanese legend. There is some noblewoman that is in love with a samurai, but the two are forbidden to be together. Unable to cope with that life, the woman kills herself and haunts her samurai lover unbeknownst to him. When a servant of the samurai realizes the truth he tries to assist by blocking the ghostly woman until her time left in the world passes; if the samurai is touched by her he will be taken to the afterlife too...or whatever. Of course shenanigans ensue when another suitor of the samurai makes the ghostly woman jealous, turning her into a yurei seemingly. Since ghostses are tricksy, the noblewoman convinces the samurai that her time has passed, and things are safe, only to realize it's still night. The next morning the samurai is found dead like a dumbass. I liked this segment a lot due to that classic, ghost story vibe. Also, that chick was willing to kill herself to be with you...that's loyalty you can't buy!

She Bear (She-bear?): Two schoolgirls are walking along wherever when they stumble across a warning to avoid the She-bear. Then they go home and nothing happens. The end. Who am I kidding...of course they come across the She-bear! I guess she is supposed to be some kind of supernatural creature, given her teleportation abilities, though it's not explained for beans. Our beloved She-bear carries around a teddy bear with jewelry inside and, occasionally, the limbs connected to it like a finger or ear; she uses large scissors as her weapon of choice. For no particular reason, She-bear fixates on our little schoolgirls and chases them around until they figure out to simply give her all their jewelry willingly. Unfortunately for them, they held out on one item and the segment ends with an angry She-bear about to collect. Overall, this is probably going to be the highlight for most although I thought it was simply okay. Gotta love the gratuitous upskirt shots and a character named Rika though.

Yamaba: This title appears to be spelled wrong on the DVD menu. I mean, I could be wrong, but the subtitles spell it as "Yamamba" and I hear that second "m" when characters pronounce the word. Anyway, a cute journalist and cameraman--I'm guessing--investigate some bullshit about a deity called Yamamba. When trying to interview the locals of some village, the two eventually become lost in the woods. Stumbling upon a random house, the two are invited to stay the night by a shady woman only for the cameraman to become that night's dinner. Yummy. When the journalist figures this out she runs away from monsters that turn out to be the villagers they interviewed. The story ends with my cute little journalist about to die at the hands of horrendous CGI. This was another decent story save for the laughable effects. I think more time could have been spent building things up, but the ADHD crowd will appreciate this kind of pacing.

Nurarihyon: This was the dumbest of the tales by a significant margin. A pumpkinhead ghost...uhh, haunts...a little boy for reasons unknown. This is apparently a friendly, yet mischievous, spirit that gets his rocks off by being annoying. One night, thieves decide to rob the boy's family but are dispatched by the ghost's psychic powers. Yet...the ghost is magically hurt by a sword? Uh huh. Once the thieves are moronically defeated, the ghost disappears and moves on to be an annoyance somewhere else. Umm...thanks...I guess. Dude, I don't know what the fuck was happening here, but, mercifully, this was the shortest story of the six.

Heart Broken Trip: This is probably the best tale overall, but it's also hindered by shoddy effects. Another cute chick decides to spend a weekend away with her friend to help get over being dumped. Once at the...spa...hot spring...fill in whatever anime cliche...the main chick settles in alone, because her friend is running late. That night, after coming out of a bath looking like 10 times better, the cutie becomes haunted out of the blue by various ghosts. In particular, I was impressed by the mirror ghost; that's how you utilize a low-budget effectively! Just when the cutie appears doomed, her friend finally appears and saves the day. Shocking no one, the friend is also a ghost and died when heading to the trip. I don't know if the writer felt like viewers might interpret these two as lesbians or something, but they beat it into your head that the friend was sad about also getting dumped by her boyfriend. And that's it. There probably should have been more story elements at play to explain the random ghosts, but the tale is respectable for what it is.

Lost Souls: I wish this and "Heart Broken Trip" had swapped positioning, because this episode ends things on a sour note. A young couple cruising around in the middle of oblivion suddenly become hungry for Ramen. Surrre, why not. At some seedy restaurant, a family of ghosts haunt the place and will drag you to hell seemingly if you look at them. The mullet-wielding boyfriend is able to ignore the ghosts, however, the dumb girlfriend just can't help herself. When trying to drive away, the two are magically drawn to the location in which the ghost family drowned. The episode ends with the ghosts adding the girlfriend to the family so to speak; well, either that or they're just giving her a nice back rub! Hmm, it's not that this is a bad story, but it's more that nothing is explained and ends abruptly. In fact, a lot of these stories needed some fleshing out to build up the tension.

All things considered, this series was merely above average. There are too many glaring flaws that cannot be overlooked, yet, there is a charm to the presentation. Most of the individual tales could have been better with more time and better budgets, but I respect their efforts nonetheless. There are better sets out there to fill that J-horror void, however, I only paid like $5 for this DVD so I'm not complaining. I imagine the complete set is floating around the internet in some shape or form since I saw that "She Bear" segment years ago. Regardless, I'd recommend this most for Asian horror fans as casual viewers will likely not be impressed with the experience.

Notable Moment: During the "Nurarihyon" segment when the thieves go flying. This is painfully embarrassing to behold.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

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