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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Phone Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A journalist, in fear of reprisal for one of her articles, discovers her new phone number is cursed.

Review: In the past this was movie was often regarded amongst the legends of Asian horror, but I do not agree with that assessment. Side note: since when was the word "amongst" considered outdated and spell check says it's not even a word? I guess I'm just an old fashioned kind of guy. ANYWAY, it's not that this film is terrible, but it tried, and failed, to tackle too much while not even succeeding in bringing about any real scares or a coherent story for that matter. There are highlights and some good ideas, like the intrigue regarding the mystery, but everything else is a mess from start to finish. Perhaps the biggest gripe is that the story comes off as a lame drama more than a true horror film which is disappointing. Back in 2002, when the Asian horror boom was big, I can understand the novelty of this movie, but it does not hold up to repeat viewings nowaday and it certainly does not hold a candle to the likes of "Shutter," "Ringu," or the "Ju-on" franchise.

Right from the beginning, they severely mishandle the story. You have the main character, Ji-won, played by the lovely and similarly named Ji-won Ha, who is a journalist working on an expose regarding an under-aged sex ring...or something along those lines. You think this plotline will play a significant role to the story, but don't get your hopes up--it works merely as a huge ass contrivance. In essence, Ji-won faces backlash for the article and is forced to change her number and lay low at a friend's house until things die down since there's a stalker after her. Here's an idea...turn off the fucking phone, hun! My god, you will be pulling your hair out by the 30 minute mark by how many times you hear the same ring tone going off. Keep in mind this was 2002 and already we have a character who can't live without a cell phone it would seem. Well, apparently Ji-won still receives disturbing phone calls with her new number, accompanied by pointless visions for whatever reason, but she attributes this to the stalker; the ghost also went super saiyan 3 somehow which may explain her incredible power level.

There's a completely nonsensical plot point about Ji-won's friend's daughter going crazy from her blossoming Electra complex. There are some disturbing moments regarding this, but it's best to see them for yourself like the girl trying to make out with the dad. The reason why this is happening is because the girl answered Ji-won's phone one time when the ghost was calling and now she's possessed...I guess. I've touched on this bullshit before, but, seriously, how can a ghost simultaneously be spreading a magic phone curse while possessing someone? At least the little girl doing the acting really brings it and sells me on the bullshit. If this weren't weird enough, they had to add an extra layer of convolution by explaining that Ji-won donated her egg to her friend in order to allow the kid to be born in the first place. Again, this barely connects to the plot making it feel contrived; I swear, it was simply added to have more "dramatic" scenes of crying and moping. On top of that, the little girl disappears from the plot entirely at one point exasperating the contrived nature of it all. Okay, back to that whole stalker fiasco--Ji-won is nearly killed but the stalker idiotically is killed by the ghost calling. This scene is bad...like, really bad. Besides the fact that Ji-won does not strike me as someone with the upper body strength to pull herself up from a ledge with one hand in the snow on a wet rail, why would this crazed stalker stop in the middle of killing Ji-won to answer her phone?! What was the plan with that? "Hello, your friend can't come to the phone right now, she's about to go to hell." Uuuughh. Fucking contrivances. Oh yeah, it's also Christmas pointlessly so...merry Christmas! That honestly got a laugh out of me it was so unexpectedly stupid.

What was this movie about again? Oh right, ghost in the phone. After seeing stalker boy die, Ji-won finally looks into the mystery and realizes everyone who has had this phone number has died after reporting similar haunting experiences with that super saiyan 3 ghost. Then we learn the first owner, who is the ghost, was some nutcase the movie wants you to feel bad for named Jin-hee. Jin-hee had a secret boyfriend who got her pregnant before kind of playing her out. It really isn't hard to guess the boyfriend is Ji-won's friend's husband which means that the possessed daughter really wants the dad. The movie is very thorough in showing us the fine details of this lame affair revealing that Jin-hee is a crazed, obsessed, stupid little girl, but people seem to feel bad for her character for some strange reason I can't fathom. She's also a huge bitch, and I would have killed her too! Ji-won confronts the husband regarding the obvious murder, but big shock, it was Ji-won's friend that actually killed Jin-hee! Wow, couldn't see that coming. Ji-won's friend gradually caught on to her husband's cheating and tricked Jin-hee into meeting her. When the two argued, it was actually Jin-hee that tried to kill the friend first and she defended herself...so that makes her the villain? And enough with the crying over everything! It's not that sad. The room where Ji-won had been sleeping is actually where Jin-hee's body was stored in the wall. Hmm, who would have known that some Korean housewife was a skilled mason and electrician. Because the friend has lost her mind, she decides she will kill her husband, who I assume did die since we never see him again, and burn Ji-won along with the newly discovered body of Jin-hee. I know you allowed me to have a kid and are my best friend and everything, but I'm going to burn you alive for no reason...that's what friendship is all about people! The friend of course dicks around long enough for Jin-hee's body to come to life, which was admittedly cool, and kill the friend. Well, that's that. I guess the curse is over? Oh wait, Ji-won had to hold on to the phone long enough for a staged scene of her throwing it into the ocean where it starts to ring. Umm, it's the number that was actually haunted but okay--anything to separate a pretty girl from her god forsaken cell phone is a good thing I suppose.

Okay, in all fairness, there are a lot of good aspects to this movie. The acting is well done, the music is excellent, there is cool imagery especially with snowing shots, the mystery is mostly intriguing although predictable, and Ji-won and her friend are easy on the eyes. But none of this can excuse the complete nonsense going on with the story that unfolds sloppily with plot points that go nowhere. They should have taken gold five's advice and stayed on target. The ghost was also not scary and her appearances are spread thin as well. This movie is realistically a predictable drama, with special attention on the cliched love triangle, while being boggled down by filler and limply throwing a ghost into the mix. Overall, there are way better Asian horror movies out there from this era and after it. They had a good idea with the haunted phone number, but they did not execute it effectively as "One Missed Call" was able to. I'd say this movie is worth a view just to see what you're missing, but completely ignore those claiming this is on the level of something like "Shutter." Psh, give me a break.

Notable Moment: When the ghost comes out of the wall. I mean, it really wasn't hard to see it coming, and you don't even see her face, but it stands out nonetheless.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

1 comment:

Castlerock said...

What were the chances of the friend of the murderer to get the cursed number?