Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: Kirsty's amnesiac husband struggles to figure out what's real and what's not while trying to find Kirsty herself.
Review: I'm not sure what the game plan was for this entry. If you strip away all of the bullshit, this is essentially a wannabe sexy version of part 5. The only real difference is that you can easily tell this main character is in hell all along, and they brought back Ashley Laurence as Kirsty. Bringing back Kirsty would have been awesome if it weren't for the fact that they completely ruin her character in the process. Thanks for that. Also--and I should have acknowledged this with part 5--the cenobites from this point on look less like they come from the mind of Clive Barker and more like "Silent Hill" rejected concept art.
So, yeah, shocking no one, the main guy, Kirsty's husband, is in hell all movie. Well, if you wanted to get technical, he was just arriving in hell as he realized he was dead. They have this whole amnesia thing going on, but it comes off messy with nonsensical edits CONSTANTLY. I hope you don't suffer from seizures because you might after a viewing. What all of this schizophrenic editing boils down to is trippy nonsense meant to be scary, but the budget is not where it needs to be to convey that emotion. As for that sexy angle...this guy gets all the ladies somehow. Don't ask me how--they're just throwing themselves at this dude. Don't get your hopes up though...this is far from erotic thriller territory; if anything, I can see some executive tacking it on to spice the garbage plot up a bit.
What makes this entry painful is that Kirsty's character is both wasted and tarnished. She is barely in the film as they're trying to have another mystery, similarly to part 5, where you wonder what happened to her. The best I can understand through the shoddy editing is that the husband wanted her to solve the puzzle box--for whatever reason--and she decided to exchange his soul and 4 other victims in order to escape Pinhead once and for all. Well...something like that happened...I don't even care at this point. Regardless of the details, we get a fanfic level Kirsty/Pinhead-pairing as she kills 5 people. The ending implies she gets away with all of this as well which is okay...I guess.
There is a point where Pinhead clearly wants to say "welcome to hell" but then they remember that's what happened in part 5! And that's how you will feel all film long. Oh, yeah, sure, a few things are changed up, but this is more or less the same script tweaked. Worse, all the aspects that made part 5 interesting are removed for those lame sex scenes. What made part 5 work was not the realization of being in hell or bizarre imagery...it was the detective angle coupled with showing us the puzzle box at the street level. Even if you want to rip off your own franchise, you can't do it in the very next entry, you fucking idiots! I'm going to give this film an average rating, which is generous, due to the fact that it looked okay, the story was mildly acceptable as another standalone entry, and they did bring back Kirsty.
Notable Moment: When Pinhead comes out of an acupuncture poster. The CGI is utterly horrendous, however, I can appreciate the amusing concept at heart.
Final Rating: 5/10
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