Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: An isolated babysitter is attacked by killer trick-or-treaters on Halloween.
Review: Okay, now for the final Halloween horror movie of the year. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with this story since nothing is explained. I get the distinct feeling that Halloween was tacked on at the last minute to add as a mere selling point. I mean, if you took Halloween out of the equation, the only thing that would be really different is the main girl, Kylie, would have reacted differently to seeing people in masks; that's about it. Likewise, what about calling your movie "Berkshire County" cries Halloween horror movie?
One thing this movie can boast is that it's probably the only non-porn where the plot is set into motion over a blowjob. Yeah, not too many films can make that claim, now can they? I guess this is supposed to be character development as Kylie is oblivious to the fact that she is recorded from--get this--two different angles while blowing some dude at a costume party. Did she keep her eyes closed the entire time?! The next day, on Halloween, everyone is making fun of her until she runs home. Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen. If that weren't bad enough, Kylie gets progressively annoying for, roughly, the next half hour or so. I do like how her mom has a conversation with her while Kylie's showering...because that happens. Later that night, Kylie goes to babysit two kids living in the boonies conveniently. This family's house is really cool though. The son's room is amazing! It's a big circle with buildings and a town painted like a mural. But then the entire room is lined with shelves designed to look like buildings and such too. Eh, you kind of have to see it to fully appreciate the setup. Man, that would have been a dream room for me as a kid with all my toys. Hell, I'd still want that shit!
After putting the kids to bed, the dumb killers show up, and I still don't know what their goal was supposed to be. I will admit, however, I did like how one of the killers was a little kid credited as "piglet." Little piglet! Kylie sees these freaks wearing rotted pig masks yet she goes out of her way to give them candy. Come the fuck on, hun. At this point I've already seen Kylie sucking some dude off on a whim, showering, pissing, acting like a bitch to little kids and her mom, and being easily tricked--this is not how you establish your lead. Whatever...so the killers take their sweet ass time trying to get to Kylie and the kids. There are pure shenanigans with Kylie calling 9-11, and supposedly the killers intercepted the call and pretended to be 9-11. Riiiight. This is supposed to be a big twist in the movie--and that one killer is a girl--but this is utterly preposterous.
The vast majority of the second and third act revolves around Kylie going in circles with these inept killers. Somehow the dude Kylie blew also shows up to die; this is perfect, because that situation is conveniently resolved without the writers having to do anything. Toward the end, Kylie and the kids are captured, and that fucking piglet stabs Kylie in the gut with like a 5 inch blade. Uhh, goodnight Kylie! Wait, what's this, you're just going to brush that shit off, Kylie? Okay, Batman. Kylie strangles little piglet, who lives, and ends up killing both the adult killers including our beloved little 9-11 operator. By the way, these dumb killers just left Kylie with a knife in the back of a makeshift ambulance with open access to stabbing them. Kylie is later rescued, but everyone in the hospital is killed by, what I'm assuming is, a cult that was creating these killers to begin with. And that's the ending--yet another sequel-bait attempt.
This film has mediocre written all over it. There were a few interesting ideas here and there, but there was nothing we haven't seen a hundred times before. Kylie is far too unlikable to get behind, and the killers are too stupid to cheer for as well. The ending makes no sense, a cult of killers is played out, and Kylie probably should have died from her wound. Oh well, at least Kylie stabbing the killers was somewhat satisfying...though, letting the little piglet survive was wimpy. Overall, I think this is more on the pass side. There are certainly better Halloween horror movies out there, and this hardly felt like a Halloween movie anyway.
Notable Moment: When Kylie idiotically drops her baseball bat. Yeah, sure, just throw it on the ground instead of using it. Makes perfect sense. You're fucking killing me here, hun!
Final Rating: 5/10
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