Jack-O Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: An old man is killed in the past and a pumpkin ghost seeks revenge or whatever was going on.

Review: I don't know what the hell I just watched, but I can say it was hilarious! There were multiple scenes that brought me to tears I was laughing so hard. This is what I like to see from a shitty movie--pure shenanigans of the highest caliber. It's not quite as fun as the likes of "Troll 2" or "The Room," but it's probably the best-worst of the Halloween horror movies. From the monotone and nonchalant line delivery to the unabashed continuity errors, this movie has it all and kept me entertained from start to finish. However, as dumb as this film was, it actually highlighted a phenomenon that used to make Halloweens of the past so amazing. I'll go into it later, but I have to give them a little credit for that aspect.

What better way to kick the story off than with some little boy, seemingly, about to get molested, right? Okay, he's not really, but his uncle(?) was creeping me out. Actually, there are too many pedophile-esque characters for my liking. You have this one pointless bitch a little too feely for this same boy and Linnea Quigley's character blatantly stating "I like little boys." Yuck. Speaking of which, I like how Ms. Quigley is the top billed actress yet she's merely a secondary character. That says a lot about the "talent" starring in this trash. Back to the story...this little boy, Sean, is the youngest descendant of a family that killed some sorcerer guy once upon a time. Because of this, a pumpkin-headed ghost wants revenge on Halloween. It honestly makes little sense really, and it doesn't help that this sorcerer dude is "played" by poorly edited footage of a dead John Carradine. Yeah...just roll with it.

Sean's parents are having a haunted garage attraction at their house so they need someone to babysit dear Sean. This is retarded as Sean shouldn't need babysitting, and they also oddly allow this weird lady they just met hang out with their son all day. By the way, this weird lady, Vivian, simply pops up out of nowhere as a mere plot device. The pumpkin ghost--let's call him Jack-O--runs around killing pointless victims to pad out the body count, but he does this in the most roundabout way. Through shoddy editing, they'll have Jack-O in one position, then he will be back to another spot seconds later; you have to see it to fully grasp the stupidity. Although I like that Jack-O wields a scythe, the kills are pathetic and Vivian's death is a highlight without a doubt. The best death, however, is this one bitch who electrocutes herself to death by stabbing her toaster. Not only does this fool run from Jack-O, moronically leaving her door wide open, but, when she is electrocuted, she turns into a fucking skeleton! Is this "Looney Tunes?"

At one point, Jack-O finally realizes what he's supposed to be doing in this movie and goes after Sean. I swear, every line Sean delivers is amazing! Only he can turn a simple "no" into comedy gold. My lord...I was crying so much when Jack-O was trying to bury this kid in a grave! The parents aren't much better though...the mom with her crack addict eyes and the dad sounding like a buffoon. That reminds me...the audio is fucking ATROCIOUS--easily among the worst I've ever experienced; that's saying a lot. Anyway, they manage to kill Jack-O with two fucking sticks in the shape of a cross. The end...or is it?! Dun dun dun! What a fitting conclusion to such an epic adventure. I love when everyone was trying act tough fighting Jack-O too.

Ignoring all of the idiocy for a second, there was one aspect they covered in this movie that I genuinely did like: Halloween and trick-or-treating lasting all night. There appears to be a collective forgetfulness or not caring about how great Halloween used to be. In this movie, Sean doesn't even start to trick-or-treat until 7 PM! The parents planned to keep their haunted garage open until 10 PM. Other kids are depicted as still trick-or-treating as well so it's not like Sean is abnormal. What the hell happened to the fun of this holiday? When did it become a night to whore it up, fall into a drunken stupor, and calling it quits when it gets dark? This movie at least demonstrated the glory I enjoyed when I was young. The kiddies now are seriously missing out.

Overall, this film serves more as a comedy than horror. It can be irritatingly stupid at times, and gets off to a slow start, but I would still recommend it for those who enjoy so-bad-it's-good movies. The Sean character is brilliant and the level of zany antics is reasonably high. Having this be a Halloween horror only adds icing to the shit cake. However, if you're looking for a serious film to watch this holiday, do not waste a second on this.

Notable Moment: Damn...this is a tough pick; there are so many fantastically horrible moments to choose from. I guess I have to go with when Sean is "begging" not to be buried alive. Oh man, I was in tears.

Final Rating: 3/10