Ramblings of Ryan Volume 6

You aren't doing Halloween right unless you have your Uncle Guts CD!

Time for yet another ramble, but, this time, there is somewhat of a general purpose. I first want to go over the status of the Halloween horror movies I've yet to cover (if ever). There are a plethora of films where the setting takes place during Halloween, but the holiday is not an actual driving force behind the story. For example, "Donnie Darko," or the first "Ginger Snaps" film take place on Halloween, however, it plays no real importance to the plot. Sure, I've covered a few pieces of shit you could say the same about, but they tricked me and the audience to say the least. Anyway, the following films left to cover are as follows (feel free to add another if I missed it):

-Berkshire County: I may or may not review this, but it doesn't look all that great.
-The Scarehouse: Besides looking like absolute shit, the story supposedly takes place on October 30th. Now, if it technically crosses into the next day it's Halloween, but that's exactly what I'm talking about with Halloween being insignificant.
-All Sinners Night: I'm starting to doubt this film even exists.
-Haunted Ship: There is some movie in production for 2016 and there is a 4 year old trailer on youtube. Hell if I know what is going on. Looks like shit one way or another.
-Hellfest: There is a metal concert or tour or whatever the hell each year with the same exact name. Yeah, good luck tracking this trash down.
-Tales of Halloween: I definitely intend to watch and review this one!
-Late Fee: This is another maybe. I'd like to review it, but the trailer does not make it look worth the money.
-Black Eve: A lot of porn comes up when I search this title but no horror movie.
-Scare Zone: Looks somewhat amusing from the low budget trailer, but it doesn't look worth paying for.
-All Hallows' Eve (2007): This is another case of does it even exist? Plus, 6.7 rating on imdb? Right.
-Mr. Halloween: Yeaaaah, it's not happening.

Moving along to another subject...my sheer disappointment with "American Horror Story Hotel." I'll admit, I do like the grittier look and tone, the use of Wes "plastic bag" Bentley, and overall idea of a haunted hotel. However, the story is an absolute mess already--combining far too many ideas right out the gate. This is the reason I couldn't even make it all the way through "AHS: Freak Show." I hate Lady Gaga with a passion and sure as hell don't want to see her running around in pasties. If she's a vampire, can we get Blade on the case to kill this bitch? More importantly, how the hell are you going to kill off Chasty Ballesteros in the first episode? What's that...who's Chasty Ballesteros?! Why she's this little cupcake:

Don't worry, I'll cover some of Ms. Ballesteros' films soon to make up for her death. But in all seriousness, this season pisses me off mostly because they are exploiting the Elisa Lam case. If you haven't heard of Ms. Lam's bizarre death, look it up. I have been following the case closely for the past year, and I don't like the possible direction this show may take her (or some form of her) real life death. I know the police and skeptics have decided her death was a suicide, and the internet believes there was something supernatural. But I agree with the armchair detectives that this was some kind of a murder or there is just something more to the story being covered up. The smoking gun clearly being the altered and manipulated surveillance footage that has become a viral video. The case has fascinated me so much, I've watched the surveillance footage a hundred times, and I want to see Elisa get justice no matter how deep this rabbit hole goes. Regardless, I feel AHS is cheapening the ongoing case rather than creating interest in starting a new investigation. Likewise, the proposed movie based on Elisa's death is insulting. I know people compare this to shit like the Zodiac Killer or whatever, but they aren't the same. When the official story is saying it's a suicide, the evidence is saying otherwise, and idiots want to tell a ghost story...we have a problem. If you are going to disrespectfully milk Elisa's death, can you at least have a disclaimer that helps point those interested in the real case toward the facts?

Okay, moving along...how about that retarded "Ghostbusters" remake?! Man, fuck that movie! I love the defense of "you don't like it 'cause it's womenzz!" Uh no, we hate it, because it's yet another pointless remake of a classic. And I am equally angry about the prospect of a dude bro version with Channing "talentless" Tatum. God, I would love to punch that douchebag in the face. He already fucked up "G.I. Joe" and now dares to screw up "Ghostbusters" too? The main problem with the chick remake is that it's A) pandering B) HORRENDOUSLY cast and C) being created by someone with no respect for the fans or franchise. I can't wait for this to bomb HARD!

(In Mandark voice) Ahahahahahahahah!

On to the awesomeness that is "Fallout 4," baby! I didn't think anything would surpass my excitement for the "Final Fantasy VII" remake, but then this game had to come along. This game has it all: giant open world, dialogue trees, custom characters, house building, town building, weapon customization, armor customization, an awesome and endless leveling system, and god knows how many extras yet to be revealed. Can this be the game to save this console era...because the games that have come out in the last two years have been nothing but disappointment. Everyone should get this game! I'll link to the E3 presentation since it was perfectly displayed in all its hyped glory:

Good ol' Godd Howard!

And finally, to close out this ramble...

Top: Haruna Iikubo, Masaki Sato, Erina Ikuta, Kanon Suzuki, Mizuki Fukumura

Middle: Haruna Ogata, Miki Nonaka, Akane Haga, Maria Makino

Bottom: Haruka Kudo, Ayumi Ishida, Riho Sayashi, Sakura Oda

I have to talk about my girls in Morning Musume finally releasing an all-English song! Individual members over the years have done various covers of English songs, but this was the first time they made their own. It's called "One and Only" and is certainly catchy--I'm loving it! Surprisingly, the girls' English was well spoken and pronounced, but it is clear that Miki is taking point as she's the only fluent English speaker. All the girls gave it their all, looked beautiful, and I respect their tireless efforts to improve. In fact, I really liked what Sakura had to say about the group doing an English song and how J-pop has its root with old, Western pop. 

I get that they are trying to appeal to a wider audience internationally, but I fear the song may be too tame and lost on Western audiences. Don't get me wrong, I prefer J-pop and wholesome music, but the West currently revels in songs that promote debauchery and outright idiocy; a song like this may be viewed as intended for children. Hopefully Morning Musume can expand their audience with efforts such as this, and I know I will support them as always. Personally, I must come to terms with the fact that this lineup has surpassed the golden era in which my darling Rika was a member. Of course Rika is still my dream girl, but the current Morning Musume has edged out Rika's lineup in fun, creativity, and pure talent. 

I'd love to link the song now, but it doesn't have an official video or anything yet. At the moment, it's simply being promoted through J-Melo, a Japanese/English hybrid show. I'll update this blog post if/when it gets an official video. UPDATED...here we are: