Hollow Gate Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Some guy hates Halloween so he kills people sporadically over the years.

Review: In a word: painful. Could this be the worst Halloween horror movie in existence? Hmm...it has a lot of competition so I don't know. What I do know, however, is that this was hard to sit through--forcing myself to watch it in 10 minute increments (sometimes only 5!). The acting isn't the worst I've endured, but it felt like all the dialogue was being ad-libbed in the worst of ways; maybe they were writing the script as they went. I'm assuming this was intended to be a "Halloween" ripoff of some sort, but the story is beyond ludicrous. Also, unlike a piece of shit like "Jack-O," this isn't fun or entertaining in any conceivable way.

This has got to be one of the flimsiest motives for a killer; the only one I can even think of that comes close is from "Christmas Evil." One Halloween when he was a kid, Mark, the killer, had his drunk dad dunk his head when he was bobbing for apples. That's it. That's his motive. Now he hates Halloween and wants to kill people on the holiday. Oh goodness gracious. Waiting a decade before he finally kills anyone, Mark is working at a gas station when some asshole couple bothers him. By the way, Mark's family is rich yet he works at a gas station? Okaaay. So this couple decides they want to finger fuck right in front of Mark and he blows their car up in response. In fairness, I probably would have done the same. So we skip ahead again a couple years. Oh fuck...this is "Children of the Living Dead" all over again. This time Mark goes crazy after some bitch rejects him, but they imply he didn't kill her. What? This leads to him being under a kind of house arrest at his grandma's mansion for an indeterminate amount of years.

Finally we jump to "present day" with a group of idiots going to some airport party or whatever. Apparently this movie takes place in good ol' Oblivion, Oklahoma. Through contrivances, the idiots work out a deal where they will deliver costumes to the grandma's mansion in exchange for getting a wig. Don't even ask. Little do they know that Mark has decided this is the night he will finally kill grandma and go trick-or-treating. When the idiots arrive, Mark traps them with an electrical fence that allegedly covers the entire grounds. Yeaaaah...bullshit. The kills are pathetic, Mark is omniscient, and the idiots seemingly just run in circles around the mansion. The only remotely positive thing I could say is that Mark changes his costume with each death and adjusts his weapon accordingly.

In the end, a couple police officers, we keep cutting back to, realize something is up. They get through the electrical gate when the last idiot is about to die. After shooting Mark a bunch of times, everything appears to be over...or is it?! Magically surviving a headshot, we see Mark waking from a coma as the credits roll. That's really funny. I love how all of these shitty movies have sequel-bait endings as if anyone in their right mind would ever fund these fools a second time!

This film is absolutely terrible from start to finish. The effects are shit, the acting is unbearable, the story is ridiculous, the killer is nonsensical, and the entire experience is boring as fuck. What were they thinking? This movie is a disgrace to Halloween itself. The only slightly redeeming qualities--if you want to go there--are the costume changes and the sheer cowardly nature of the idiots which can be somewhat humorous. Avoid this shit like a razor blade in your caramel apple.

Notable Moment: I don't know...maybe the sheer incompetence of the finger fuck scene? Seriously, who does that and doesn't expect to have their throat slit?

Final Rating: 2/10