Hell Fest (2018) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A girl and her friends are stalked by a killer at a horror-themed amusement park.

Review: As I mentioned with "Haunt," there are a ton of movies about horror attractions having real killers in them. That's pretty much their entire premise. In the case of "Hell Fest," the killer does come into the park independently, but you get the gist of things. On the bright side, the Hell Fest location itself is really cool--bordering more on an amusement park than a typical haunt. This was definitely the highlight of the film since it was fun watching the characters go through such an elaborate setup. If this is based on a real place then I want to go!

In essence, "Hell Fest" is mediocre slasher fare. My main gripe lies with the killer being too omniscient and seemingly teleporting. For a film that's final "twist" is showing that the killer is just a regular family man when the mask comes off, how do you throw realism out the window as you go? This guy always knows where the main characters are, how to get ahead of them, knows the inner workings of the park, and has the same damn costume as other people in the park too?! Come on, son, this is absurd. Others might be able to ignore this if the story can deliver the slasher goodness but it doesn't. There are only a handful of kills, and they're quite tame by slasher standards. The filmmakers focus more on the stalking which could have worked, but this guy ain't Michael Myers lurking in the shadows.

Of course, it's not all bad. As mentioned, the park is awesome and offers a large variety of horror scenarios. If anything, the park entertained me more than whatever was going on with the main cast. In fairness, this group was acceptable in their roles; they could pass for realistic friends especially when half were just boyfriends to the main chicks. You have a cameo by Tony Todd which was nice, and his voice is heard all throughout the movie in recordings. Finally, I did like that final reveal even if it's the loosest of twists--if you can even consider it a twist; a real killer would have a normal life to some degree.

Overall, "Hell Fest" isn't going to feel original, however, the core premise can be entertaining enough. The look and design of the horror attraction is probably worth the view alone, but don't expect to be wowed by the slasher elements. Likewise, if you're looking for an actual scary movie, or one with any kind of real tension, then look elsewhere. If you've watched the trailer for "Hell Fest" then you already know what kind of ride you're in for. Maybe check it out this Halloween for a movie marathon--make it the first of the night while people are still settling in and getting their food since you won't need to pay attention much to get the story.

Notable Moment: This isn't the best, but it sure was the most ludicrous scene--when a bunch of people, wearing the exact same mask/hoodie combo of the killer, mess with the main girl. Yeaaaah, okaaaay. Should have called this movie Contrivance Fest.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Terrifier Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A homicidal clown stalks two women, and anyone else in his way, one Halloween night.

Review: This is going to require a little bit of background. I've already reviewed a movie called "All Hallows Eve" which featured the killer here, Art the clown. Now, a significant portion of that film is comprised of preexisting shorts. Of those shorts, one included Art that was also called "Terrifier." Essentially, this is a feature-length version of that initial short, yet, heavily deviates from the Art we saw depicted in "All Hallows Eve." Rather than some kind of supernatural being, this Art appears to be human from what I can tell. Now, I suppose it's possible he could be turned supernatural, similarly to Jason, and then this could connect to "All Hallows Eve." Guess we will have to see whenever part 2 is released.

As for this movie standing on its own...eh, it wasn't that great. There simply wasn't enough material to work with, and the padding to the running time is palpable. Every time things should just about wrap up, another character pops up to get killed and drag things out longer. I found myself getting bored fast with a movie striving for shock and awe. The story tries to throw a few curveballs, but you will see them coming miles away. More so, these twists are nonsensical; like, why would the sister kill a TV show host? Another annoying aspect is how many times Art fake dies. You can get away with this, pretty much, once per film, but that's it. Finally, this doesn't feel too much like a Halloween movie since the character costumes are flimsy, and no one else in the movie seems to even acknowledge what day it is.

This isn't to say it's all bad. I did like that hazy look to the cinematography. Art's look is effectively creepy especially with those teeth and that hooked nose. In general, I think there will be aspects others may find entertaining. Nevertheless, I wasn't impressed by this outing for Art. I did enjoy "All Hallows Eve" more than most, but that incarnation of Art was more interesting to me--he had more of a mystique and allure. The "Terrifier" version seems too ridiculous with an outlandish amount of supplies in that dumb trash bag he carries. I can't really recommend this for casual viewing since it's nothing more than strung along murders with the lightest of plots to hold it all together. However, if you did like the previous shorts involving Art then maybe you will find mild enjoyment with "Terrifier."

Notable Moment: When the girls are eating pizza of course! Those slices looked big and cheesy too!

Final Rating: 5/10

Haunt (2019) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A group of friends visit an "extreme" haunted house on Halloween as mayhem ensues.

Review: "Haunt" starts off well enough but falters fairly quickly. Over the years, I've covered other movies that use "haunts" as a plot device, and it typically doesn't work out. You already know the drill with the attraction being real which sort of feels like a derivative of funhouse-themed movies of the past. In this instance, the buildup was what made things interesting. The design of the haunt--with "Saw" inspired traps and puzzles--kept you guessing where things might go. Perhaps a big payoff was coming? Not really. However, what truly dragged down the movie for me, along with my rating, is the continual usage of characters doing painfully stupid things no sane person would do. Hello, did you just deliberately bring a bat to a gunfight?! People might say horror is notorious for characters not acting naturally, but there's a difference between running up the stairs instead of out the door versus putting your hand out to stop a shotgun! You ain't Neo, sweetheart.

Starting with the good, I'll definitely acknowledge the tension as the group enters the haunt. You know things are going to go badly, but the killers present a kind of enticing scenario that appears real enough. As mentioned, the structure of the haunt is cool. It starts off innocent enough with cheap props to lull the victims into a false sense of security that way they don't know when the killings have begun. The pacing is on track with a steady series of kills to keep you interested. The girl in the nurse costume (something about those nurses, I tell ya) was a fun character and an original kind of quirky; she keeps mentioning factoids that she's learned from her 46 cousins! Other than that, the general look and tone are respectable.

As for the fault's, I might as well start with the killers themselves. These aren't just your typical psychos--they have mutilated their faces to look scary yet how could they function on a normal day to day basis? I get that this is implied to be extreme body modification, yet, we get no backstory or motive for why these goofballs kill. There is something about wanting to get people's "masks" off but whatever, dude. But that's not the main issue at hand. The core characters are boring and cliched. When the best friend disappeared I forgot she even existed, because she had contributed so little up to that point. Other than the aforementioned nurse chickadee, no one else is entertaining in the least, and they kill her off way, way too early. The main chick's backstory was weak, and her boyfriend drama was soooo fucking stupid except to add another victim to the fodder. As an extension, the asinine actions of the characters were annoying; the one guy deliberately going out of his way to beat the one killer with the bat was probably the worst. Finally, the ending was intended to be satisfying but felt forced and nonsensical with the main chick magically going all Kevin McCallister.

All things considered, "Haunt" is still slightly above average. It does have its moments and can be entertaining at times especially toward the beginning. It's not going to feel original, yet, the story and setup are engaging enough to pull you in. If you're waiting for a big reveal, or something noteworthy, that's not here unless seeing the ugly faces of the killers was supposed to blow your mind. While the characters are stock, they're acceptable in these roles. I wouldn't necessarily recommend wasting your Halloween on a movie like this, but if you are planning to binge a slew of horror films then I guess this would make for decent filler viewing in between the first and last of the night.

Notable Moment: When they prematurely kill nurse girl. Not that this scene was great or anything, but how can you kill off the best character only halfway in?! And she was a nurse! Sure, she wasn't in sexy nurse attire but still!

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Trick (2019) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After going on a killing spree, a teen is, seemingly, killed only to return every Halloween to continue his rampage.

Review: I'm actually surprised by how good this movie turned out to be; it wasn't at all how I imagined given the various plot summaries. Of course, "Trick" takes inspiration from the likes of "Halloween" and various other horror films, however, this is more of a detective story. Yet, this still isn't enough to properly describe what is happening here--it's a wonderful amalgamation of ideas you've seen before but presented originally. I'd go as far as to say this would have made for an interesting remake concept for the "Halloween" franchise as a whole. Imagine Michael Myers returning every single Halloween, rather than the nonsense we got, and how the police and locals would handle him realistically. Now, there are some problems with this movie, but what really drags things down is that I wish the story wrapped up after it's big reveal--things go on for 10 minutes too long.

So Trick is actually the nickname of the killer himself, Patrick, who simply goes nuts one Halloween night at a party. After killing a bunch of his classmates he takes a ton of physical abuse including being skewered, shot, and thrown out a window. The police conclude there is no way he could be alive, but they never find the body. The following Halloween Trick is spotted, seemingly alive, killing more people. Then this happens the next Halloween and then the next and so on. Eventually Trick becomes almost like an urban legend on the internet, the police don't know what to do, and the FBI doesn't believe there is enough evidence to attribute the killings to one man--one man who could not have survived that initial fight against the police. The main detective, Denver, has become obsessed with Trick and believes the kid might be some kind of supernatural being if he can't be killed and is always staying one step ahead of the police. With this setup, we get a fantastic and enthralling mystery that you will want to see to its conclusion.

The characters are somewhat cliched, with this universe having its own Loomis and Laurie, but your expectations will be toyed with. There is also significantly more CARNAGE CANDY than most horror movies. I mean, the body count in this movie is massive; Trick is shown killing a ton of people every Halloween for like 5 years plus the people trying to stop him. This is also important to mention since Randy himself, Jamie Kennedy, is in this movie. Then there's Tom Atkins which came as a surprise since I kept thinking he was dead. Oops! The pacing is somewhat faster than it needed to be, but this will definitely keep audiences thoroughly engaged with the events. I will point out that you need to be paying attention during these quick transitions since many of the clues for the final reveal are there if you have a keen eye. I didn't fully guess the twist, but I did suspect the obvious: Trick isn't a supernatural killer. But how did he survive? How come he can't be caught?

Here is your last big spoiler warning! I both like and hate that Trick was a group of people. On one hand the clues are definitely there with the physical evidence pointing to different people and the FBI insisting it's a copycat killer. The filmmakers do handle this perfectly, but it's still somewhat disappointing to find out that all these random, background characters were in on it. Likewise, Trick, the original one, surviving the initial fight with the police is still quite absurd even if he's permanently crippled. Besides, I don't get how he organized all of this from the onset, including erasing his life as a kid, when so many parts of the plan could have gone wrong. And why risk everything on the fifth Halloween by going after the original survivors? It would have been better if the events came together naturally. I mean, things like the chick forgetting she stabbed Trick was contrived when it didn't need to be. Last thing I'll add is that the movie should have ended once you found out Trick was still alive and had henchmen continuing on the myth. Everything afterward was lame and ridiculous. How many stabs can Denver take?! Should have saved that shit for a sequel since the story still sequel-baits. Oh well.

Overall, I was quite pleased with "Trick." It's definitely worthy of being a "Halloween" alternative that's for sure. While this is more of a mystery than horror, slasher fans will get an impressive bloodbath nonetheless. The reveal is cool despite the flaws, and the mystery of what is happening is fully engaging on all levels. It helped me to go into this blind, but I don't think viewers will be disappointed. Now grab your bag of candy and enjoy the show!

Notable Moment: I guess it's funny to me that, in hindsight, the event that set into motion all the killings was Trick not wanting to kiss another guy while playing makeshift spin the bottle.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

Halloween at Aunt Ethel's Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Zany antics ensue as some girl becomes fixated on an old lady killing kids in the neighborhood.

Review: Oh, wowwee, where to even begin with this disaster? First and foremost, ignore the high ratings and positive reviews. The shilling from the cast and crew is pathetic and unforgivable. Next, let's address the obvious: this movie is fucking SHIT! Realistically, the running time is like an hour, but the credits are ludicrously long, there are bloopers, and a song made about the Aunt Ethel character. Typically, I might even like these shenanigans if they were done tastefully, but that hour of running time was so painfully stupid I couldn't even tolerate another second of this pure garbage. You know it's bad when they can't even nail the schoolgirl outfit which is used plentifully throughout. I mean, come the fuck on, dude!

You know the drill at this point. The effects are cheap, the acting is atrocious, the cinematography is trash, and the story is moronic beyond imagination. I won't even tell you how much time I spent trying to figure out if Aunt Ethel was played by a man. This bitch is just killing people in broad daylight in an average neighborhood even with the blinds open on the windows. Nobody notices, nobody calls the police, and she gets away with this for years with none any the wiser. Riiiiight. There's a difference between trying to be funny and outright idiocy. Guess which one this is? I'll admit, some jokes are funny and do land, however, that hardly compensates for the eye-rolling moments at every torturous second. Don't even get me started on that retarded ending. Good lord!

While I can laugh at something as dumb as pickled chocolate, it's hard to put up with this level of mindless humor. They do throw in titties, but I just ended up feeling sorry for these actors. This may not be the worst of the Halloween-themed movies I've covered, but it's definitely right there at the bottom. This isn't even a so bad it's good kind of situation either. Worse, the shilling to give out fake reviews and ratings irks me greatly. For that, I'll give this film an even lower rating which is already embarrassing as it is.

Notable Moment: When the "karate kid" chokes some girl out. Okay, I'll admit I did laugh at that scene.

Final Rating: 2.5/10

The Barn Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: One Halloween, a group of teens discover that a local urban legend is real.

Review: Another year and I continue my effort to review all the movies that use Halloween as a plot device. In this instance, "The Barn" delivers low-budget done right! Now, I'm not saying this movie is going to rival "Halloween" or anything--let's not get ahead of ourselves--but the filmmakers understood how to utilize that tight budget in the most meaningful and creative ways. However, what truly impressed me was how Halloween as a holiday was implemented. The combination of an urban legend that was intertwined with Halloween traditions was fantastic. Furthermore, the attempt at an '80s throwback was appreciated even if not quite realized.

So what's working? The main character, Sam, is semi-obsessed with Halloween and respects the traditions that have been altered over the centuries in regard to the harvest. For example, scary costumes are intended to trick evil spirits into believing you are one of them; or that treats are meant to keep the spirits at bay lest they play a mischievous trick upon you. The story doesn't fully use all of these ideas, but it was certainly a breath of fresh air that I wasn't expecting. Beyond this, "The Barn" gives us the goods: carnage candy! I was surprised by the body count this film racked up. There are cliched characters abound, yet, the filmmakers still felt obligated to massacre half the town for good measure. I approve. The '80s aspects are fun especially since I remember having a lot of those shitty paper decorations that you'd, pretty much, have to tape to doors or windows. Structurally, I also think the outright shenanigans of the story is '80s-esque in the best of ways; I mean, they even have a gearing up to fight montage.

Okay, I'm making this sound pretty good--and it is good for what it is--but you need to remember this is low-budget as hell. The effects are noticeably cheap, the acting is shoddy, and the camerawork is annoying since it must zoom in closely to hide small sets or whatever. While I can overlook much, I don't think the casual viewer will be as forgiving. I also cannot ignore the general cornball nature to much of the story. For example, we are shown that something similar happened in this town 30 years prior yet the demons did not kill everyone then? How come the main characters are able to hold their own against the monsters while everyone else is ripped to shreds? If it's because they're in costume, and hold sway over the monsters, that's not addressed whatsoever. There are plenty of other plot details like this, but I will allow the viewer to see for themselves.

Despite the flaws, "The Barn" is pretty damn good for an indie movie. In fact, I'd place it fairly high on the list of alternatives to "Halloween." Again, this isn't some incredible hidden gem, but it's probably significantly better than you'd imagine especially if you want to see a movie show some love for the Halloween holiday itself. There is room for a sequel so maybe some day we will get another installment with hopefully a bigger budget to give a glimpse of what happens when the devil doesn't get his treats on Halloween!

Notable Moment: When, like, 20+ people get torn to pieces at the "harvest hootenanny."

Final Rating: 6/10

Ghost Theater (TV Show) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: An anthology series, covering a wide spectrum of horror tales, intended to promote a film of the same title.

Review: I'm not sure on the fine details of this show, but there appears to be only these ten episodes in total. Each episode is introduced by this guy from the movie version of "Ghost Theater," and there is a continual reminder to check out the actual movie so we can conclude this came out first. Other than that, many sites list that the cast is primarily comprised of girls from the hugely popular J-pop group, AKB48. I'm not much of a fan of that group, however, the girls here are all pretty good looking so I'm going to assume that these really are girls from that group; if you're a fan of AKB48 then this will be a tremendous bonus. Finally, I want to acknowledge that Amazon Prime done goofed and has episode eight playing twice rather than all ten episodes in completion. It's almost ironic really since the episode that they play twice is called "Recurrence" and is about a girl stuck in a time loop. Get your shit together Amazon!

Enough of the intro bullshit--what about this series itself? Surprisingly, this show is well above average as far as these kind of shows go. The effects aren't half bad, and most of the stories felt original enough even if predictable. The constant use of the same music can be annoying, yet, each story offers a wide variety of ideas to play with. The cute girls certainly help, but the pacing is on point when telling consistently positive stories. While not every episode is a hit, most are going to keep you engaged. So let's take a look, shall we?

Episode 1 - Burial: To kick the series off, we have a drunk student being passed off to the quiet girl in class after a party. Of course, the quiet girl has more going on than meets the eye as the two go to her cool-looking house to sleep off the booze. After hearing some noises, and being told not to go into a particular room, the drunk girl discovers a third, tied up girl as well as the implication that the quiet girl is a serial "kidnapper" as they say. Can't it just be a killer? The obvious twist is that the quiet girl captured the real killer who was tied up and is now freed. After the revelation becomes clear, the drunk and quiet girl put up a pitiful struggle against the killer who later buries them alive. Overall, this was an okay episode in comparison to the rest but still a decent way to start.

Episode 2 - Final Hour: A girl staying at the hospital for whatever illness comes to notice a dark figure in the photos of other patients. Big shock, the patients then die shortly thereafter. When the girl realizes that the figure is after a little boy she has befriended she tries to stop his death. Inadvertently, the girl exchanges her life for the boy's, and the figure finally comes for her later on. I mean, the plain as day implication is that this figure is the grim reaper so why fight it? I'd put this on the weaker side of the segments, but it's still not too bad despite the cookie-cutter nature of the plot.

Episode 3 - Idol: This time around we have a dad begging an old friend of his daughter for help. The daughter has become a shut-in obsessed with a dead pop singer. The old friend tries to snap the girl out of her obsession, but she becomes more crazed as time goes on. The two decide to meet up with other fans of the dead idol only to discover that the fans kill themselves on the anniversary of said idol's death. When they do not go through with the suicide, the ghosts of dead fans appear to awaken and kill the old friend--the obsessed daughter feeling some kind of sense of retribution for the friend getting her into the fandom in the first place. Eh, the ending is a bit weak yet effective nonetheless.

Episode 4 - Carrion: Changing up the pace considerably, this story tries to be more comedic with emphasis on the horror elements being extra ludicrous. The most popular girl in school is a model and used to be friends with the biggest loser in the school. When the two cross paths one night, the model accidentally knocks the loser off a bridge and leaves the girl for dead. The next day, however, the loser is back at school and has become some kind of zombie. Using the guilt of the model, the loser then forces the two to become friends again to the surprise of the school. As the loser continues to rot, they try to hide her appearance while the model also attempts to date her co-worker, also a model. The loser ends up going full zombie and eating the boyfriend who was actually more interested in the loser--emphasizing the zany antics. At the end, the girls fight once more at the same bridge and both fall over. To the loser's joy, and the model's great dismay, the two have both become zombies together. This was one of the better episodes to me, but I can see the tone annoying others who want pure horror tales. The model was one of the best looking chicks in this series, and there was something about the loser too. She has some crazy teeth, but, I don't know, there's something about her look--I kinda like it more.

The model in the foreground, and the "loser" in the background. Wish I knew the actresses' names.

Episode 5 - Fate: From night to day, the next episode tries to be overly serious and is maybe trying to make some kind of societal statement. A girl regales her school psychiatrist (?) with a tale where she posted a picture of a supposed voyeur online. Unintentionally, the pic went viral leading to the man committing suicide with his reputation destroyed. When it is revealed the guy was innocent, people begin stalking and hounding the girl. While I thought this story was leading to some kind of big twist, we simply come to learn the ghost of the man is after her too...seemingly. And that's really it. Hmm, I'd say this is one of the worst segments when all things are considered, however, it does have good atmosphere and keeps you interested in where this is all heading; unfortunately, the story was heading nowhere.

Episode 6 - Ruins: This was a damn fine episode with some commendable scares to boot. After showing the audience a couple of kids being picked off by some ghost known as the "bandage woman," we are introduced to a traveling family whose car breaks down at the same site the kids died at. When exploring these ruins, if you will, the parents are picked off in cool ways. The mom specifically is killed using a great scare that also serves as an awesome camera trick; I give a lot of praise for that scare and it's simplistic effectiveness. The ghost does get the remaining two girls after we get a final, cool reveal/scare involving a sound you keep hearing. This is how you do an anthology segment, people. Asian horror cliches? Sure. But are they done well? You bet your ass. If you only watch one episode of this show then let it be this one.

Episode 7 - Hallucination: A rising pop star goes on a radio show to promote her album only to be haunted by a spirit from her past. The buildup is admirable as the ghost appears to be getting closer and only the pop star can hear her voice. Everyone else thinks the pop star is losing her mind until they all disappear, leaving the pop star alone with the vengeful ghost. We come to learn the two were friends until the price of stardom led to their friendship shattering and the one girl being pushed in front of a van. The ghostly encounter turns out to be some kind of delusion or trick by the ghost to admit on the airways that she is guilty. The pop star goes completely fucking nuts at the end which is okay, because she's like the cutest girl in the series.

Episode 8 - Recurrence: I'd place this episode toward the top and maybe another contender for the best depending on your outlook. A girl wakes up in a strange building--clearly the one from the "Ruins" episode--and attempts to find her sister and escape. As the two sisters try to find a way out they come across a large group of shadowy figures that block their path. With each instance of the girls failing to escape, a time loop of sorts resets. We are shown the main girl trying different strategies to escape but to no avail. Eventually a man appears--some kind of psychic--and he reveals to the main girl that she is a ghost trapped in a memory. She was burned to death in a fire, but she was actually successful in saving her sister who is now grown up. Those shadowy figures are malevolent spirits of other victims who are angry, and they seek to kill the adult version of the sister. Once more, the main girl saves her sister, her spirit seemingly able to rest. There's a lot to appreciate in this segment, and I thoroughly enjoyed the idea of a benevolent spirit since we so rarely get those. Likewise, we finally get some different music during the revelation scene which let me know the editors also knew this moment was too powerful for the typical ambient music heard in every episode.

Episode 9 - Longing: Now, keep in mind, Amazon Prime lists this as episode 10, but we know the truth! A young actress is practicing on the stage with the help of her mentor, a retired actress herself. Somehow the presence of these women awakens a kind of manifestation of negative energy. It's hard to explain since it's not really supposed to be a specific ghost as much as bottled up anger and jealousy. Regardless of the explanation, the mentor somehow becomes possessed by this energy and goes apeshit. The two actresses clash with the younger coming out on top...or you'd think. In typical fashion it is revealed at the end that the younger actress is somehow possessed too or that the mentor is now possessing her. I like the basic concepts here, but the general premise is muddled by shenanigans and a lack of clarity.

Episode 10 - Eternity: Again, if you're watching this on Amazon then you will need to find an outside source for this story. I went with Asiancrush as they had it on their site. As for the episode itself, sadly the series goes out with arguably the weakest segment of the bunch. Maybe that's why Amazon got rid of it?! A housekeeper starts work at a house only occupied by a young boy and his apparent grandmother. Surprise, these goofballs are not what they seem. The boy is some kind of spirit or creature or something; it's never explained what exactly he is. The grandma was just the last chick he kept at his house for like 50 years or something until he needed a younger replacement...which is where the main girl comes into play. Little is explained as to why any of this is happening or how. For example, if the boy keeps these girls locked up until they're old women then how do they have food or pay for the house or anything?! And how long has this shit been going on for? Ugh, what a mess. I'd say, this is probably the worst episode and easily skipped.

As a whole, I enjoyed watching this series and looked forward to each episode. Some episodes are on the weak side, but there was far more positive than negative. Of course, having those cute girls in every segment works wonders for me! Again, if you want to give one episode a try--to see a general glimpse at the quality--go with "Ruins." There are only ten episodes in total and each segment is probably like 20 minutes total if you cut out the bullshitting with the intros, closing credits, and previews...so you could easily binge-watch them all in one sitting.

Notable Moment: During the "Ruins" episode when the bandage woman looks like a little girl and runs toward the camera only to become her true form at the last second. There is a scene extremely similar in "Annabelle," however it works slightly different here. Very effective and creepy nonetheless.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

Annabelle Comes Home Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Zany antics ensue as an unwitting fool releases the Annabelle doll from its containment.

Review: I like this movie for what it is, but this could have easily gone by the alternate title: The Baby-Sitters Club and the Haunted Slumber Party. I mean, the tone is a stark contrast to the rest of the films set in this universe and a massive departure from the dread presented in "Annabelle: Creation." I'd go as far as to say this is closer to a family-horror--on level with the maturity of something like "The Monster Squad"--rather than resembling any of the prior Conjuring-universe installments. Nevertheless, "Annabelle Comes Home" is still an interesting horror movie full of countless creative ideas that allow it to stand out from its predecessors.

On the positive side, the filmmakers are still innovating with the scares in this series which is impressive; Annabelle's shadow changing in the light spectrum, the bride, and the ferryman are great examples of this. We've seen these shots of the Warren's house for fleeting moments in other films so it was cool to see these cursed objects spring to life in a variety of ways. The characters are nothing spectacular, however, it was fun to see them interact with the different spirits and objects that are unleashed along with the Annabelle doll. While Annabelle doesn't do as much as I would have preferred, most of the best moments involve the doll and the demon that inhabits it. "Annabelle Comes Home," of course, exhibits jump scares aplenty, yet, there are just as many terrifying moments to balance out the pacing. In this regard to pacing, I would say the filmmakers followed "Annabelle: Creation's" method of trying to make the scares become relentless. I'm starting to think this style is helping these films resonate with audiences more especially now that they know the doll does not run around Chucky style. Finally, I'd add that the sentimentality that the story tries to convey is admirable and adds a certain charm to the experience.

As for my gripes...there shouldn't be this much joking around in these movies. As I mentioned, this felt heavily toned down all around in this "wrap up the hijinks before the parents get home" kinda way; it was almost cartoon-ish in this manner. This really was a haunted slumber party for fuck's sake! Too bad the pizza looked like shit. And that one chick was just in the "Goosebumps" sequel too which only added to the feeling that I'm watching an edgier kids movie! Seriously, re-watch "Annabelle: Creation" right before this, and you will notice a startling difference in tone--you have the demon winning even! But, I get it, you can experiment with these movies so others might not agree with my fixation on this issue. However, I was right with my "Annabelle: Creation" review that they have boxed themselves into a corner with writing--this tale is ultimately pointless. You can't really do anything with this plot besides tell a story that cannot influence existing continuity. Better jump this franchise into the '80s or something. "Annabelle: 1984" here we come!

Overall, "Annabelle Comes Home" is a fun movie with a lot of great scares and interesting concepts. The story, more or less, gives you exactly what you would want to see and capitalizes on rapid pacing to squeeze in as many ghosts and cursed objects as possible to freak the audience out. Unfortunately, the Baby-Sitters Club tone, lack of stakes, and general pointlessness drag things down a bit. I know I might be alone in this thinking, but the first "Annabelle" is still the best installment. Or watch the trilogy and compare for yourself. Just understand what you're getting yourself into with this newest installment.

Notable Moment: There are quite a few scenes to choose from, but I'm going with the first appearance of the bride as she walks around, and through, the house. Wonderful editing, to say the least, and one helluva entrance.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

Bilocation Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: An artist fears for her life as she realizes she and others have dangerous doppelgangers on the loose.

Review: If there's one thing this movie has taught me it's that all it takes to marry a Japanese girl is to knock on her door. That's it?! And maybe dropping a book in front of her too. Moving along...this is another instance where any plot synopsis you read online will, more than likely, make this movie sound much different than it truly is. That can be both disappointing and a pleasant surprise depending on your outlook. "Bilocation" is closer to a fantasy-thriller than a true horror and transforms into a drama by the end. At first this bothered me, but I tried to appreciate the film for what it presents rather than what I had hoped it would be. Lastly, I want to acknowledge the main girl, Shinobu, played by Asami Mizukawa. She does an incredible job as both herself and the double. More so, you may recognize her from "The Locker" 1 and 2 plus "Dark Water." I've covered her a few times now, and we will be seeing more movies from her in the future.

What "Bilocation" does best, and quite successfully, is toy with the audience's perception regarding who is a double and who is the original in any given scene. The characters refer to their doubles as "bilocations," but they really are closer to a doppelganger and bilocation is more of a phenomenon than the thing itself. Is that making any sense? Onward we go! The characters use codes and mirrors to figure out who's who which adds to a few clever and unpredictable twists by the end. I almost feel like there are two movies being intertwined as the first half is about survival, and the second half is more about revelations and understanding. While I have discussed other movies in the past that fail to blend ideas coherently, "Bilocation" is able to reconcile the plot evenly. The characters are in danger at first until we realize more about what created the doubles in the first place and their goals. It's somewhat difficult to explain, but we are introduced to the different doubles in an order that enhances the twists of the story. In other words, we are shown generic, killer doubles at first only to realize that not everything is what it seems with the doubles and their originals. Needless to say, there are plenty of twists and turns that can be shocking and even tragic. There are two endings, and I can't say which one is supposed to be the true one. I will go with the "happy" ending since it would explain the character with the scar as it's greatly implied he was born from a double but not the original.

The film does falter quite a bit which I will address. The origin of the doubles felt as if there was a greater meaning to them, yet, they're simply created from a powerful emotion--a detachment from the original self during a single moment. This explanation felt a bit flimsy as if we must accept things readily in order to enjoy the events; I was waiting for the "why" when it was not important to the writer apparently. As mentioned, the running time is longer than necessary and many story aspects are unnecessarily confusing. Plenty of the twists are only unpredictable because the movie shows you the opposite of what they later explain as the truth. That's cheating and didn't even need to happen. For example, when Shinobu is first shown in the puddle at the start they could have simply angled things better so the audience didn't realize she wasn't there. You wouldn't even notice at that point in the story, and this would greatly add to replay value to find all the clues. Instead, it is cool to uncover the truth about the film's events, but things feel unearned when the filmmakers did not design the shots to better demonstrate the reality at hand.

All things considered, "Bilocation" is a surprisingly emotional film well worth your time. Although it is important to realize this isn't a conventional horror, it doesn't take away from the entertainment value. The mystery and reveal surrounding each of the characters is captivating and structured remarkably well. Furthermore, Shinobu is an impressive character especially once you fully understand the dynamic between her and the double. More to the point, I thoroughly loved this notion that the doubles could be a magnification of what the originals wanted of themselves. Although I do think the filmmakers cheat due to a lack of proper editing, I can mostly overlook the shortcomings. I do recommend checking this one out, but go with the ending where Shinobu doesn't fade away so to speak.

Notable Moment: Only one thing's true. I love you.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

The Promise (Thai 2017) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Two girls make a pact to commit suicide but one backs out at the last second. Twenty years later the ghost of the girl who died wants to complete the pact with the survivor's daughter.

Review: Man, this movie wants so badly to stand alongside the Asian horror legends of the past but, ultimately, fails to deliver when it matters the most. Since the 2010s began we have only seen a handful of films that could have held their own against the greats of old, and it sucks to see the potential come and go yet again. "The Promise" presents the audience with gorgeous cinematography, a real-world setting that is as haunting as it is stunning, and an incredible premise complemented by edge-of-the-seat tension...but, somehow, this isn't enough. The filmmakers went with a less is more approach which works wonders in this classic, ghost story style. However, the filmmakers also went so overboard with this philosophy that they forgot you need a payoff--a Sadako coming out of the TV moment to finally satiate that tension.

So what makes "The Promise" worthwhile? Well, the story line about a suicide pact and a vengeful ghost is cool. Revolving the setting around the 1997 financial crash in Asia gives "The Promise" an added sense of realism that enhances the ghost story. Likewise, the incomplete skyscraper utilized for much of the setting is a fucking monument to architecture. Going back to what I said about less being more...the filmmakers mastered the fake-out. For the most part, I do appreciate these scares as the audience's expectations are being toyed with quite successfully. As such, many of the setups for the scares were original while staying true to the known formula. Connected to this is the way the story continually builds up its tension with a sense of urgency and dread. The main chick's daughter is about to turn 15, and the ghost wants to complete the suicide pact in a similar fashion since it was originally the mom's 15th birthday in 1997. Although counting down the days is certainly reminiscent of "Ring," it's a tried and true method that is simple yet effective. Another entertaining aspect is the nostalgia of the '90s. This wasn't even an aim of the film, but they pay a decent tribute to the '90s in the coolest of ways. Finally, I want to give credit to the main actresses since they bring it with their mother and daughter relationship.

With so many positives going for this movie, it was a bit shocking to see it fail to deliver by the ending. I can, essentially, break my issues down into three, glaring missteps. One: the ending is too melodramatic and not befitting of a horror. The semi-depressing yet hopeful fate of the characters was more along the lines of what I'd expect from a romance or family drama. Two: there is no goddamn payoff! Almost every scare becomes a tease where you see nothing or the ghost is only faintly in the background like once or twice. This is fine at the beginning, but, when you hint that the ghost is becoming more monstrous, you have to finally give a reveal at the climax. When we see the ghost under the sheet...that was the moment to finally deliver the goods. C'mon, dude. You can't come up with this many scary set-pieces only to show nothing every single time! Three: this is one of the most heartless and evil ghosts we've seen for no reason. I thought the ghost was supposed to be a friend? This ghost is really going to be this callous against an emotional 15 year old girl who was horrified by her best friend blowing her brains out in front of her? Really?! This ghost cannot be reasoned with whatsoever and wants to utterly destroy the main chick's life and child just because she was too scared to commit suicide? I thought maybe there would be some revelation fueling this overwhelming fury but nope. Furthermore, the ghost's efforts go unresolved with her--what--giving up? I feel like we needed a moment where the mom pleas with the ghost face to face or something. Oh well.

All things considered, "The Promise" is still a good film...it just could have been better. While it fails to deliver on a satisfying conclusion or payoff, it does present a compelling story full of tension and commendable acting from the players. Although I've discussed how we don't see much from the ghost physically, the scares are still effective. I know I was on edge multiple times since these scenes are presented so well. The pros definitely outweigh the cons, however, I think it's important to understand the dynamics of the film before giving it a view; some may better appreciate that the film avoids the long-haired, ghost girl tropes altogether.

Notable Moment: When the mom finds this kid that can see ghosts and they explore the building together. In particular, the ghostly shadow on the wall scene--eerily similar to "Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum" that I just reviewed--was a fantastic concept and probably the closest we got to seeing what the ghost's face looked like. Why didn't they just make her walk out of that shadow?! Seriously, come on, people! Deliver!

Final Rating: 6/10

The Ghost Bride (2017) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: In need of money, a girl agrees to become the bride of a dead man only to discover she is getting more than she bargained for.

Review: "The Ghost Bride" is an unrefined mess that feels more like a first draft than a feature length film. While the core premise is cool, it has been tackled before and done better; for example, check out "The Maid." Don't get me wrong, there are positive aspects to "The Ghost Bride," but the overall presentation is blander than it should have been given the subject matter. Ghost Month has become the Halloween of Asia, but it still needs a true, legendary film to do the holiday justice. This is not that film sadly. On the bright side, that little cookie from "The Healing," Kim Chiu, serves as our lead chickadee which certainly helped me to slog through the overly long running time.

The story starts off interesting enough except that the main ghost looks like a rejected member of the Royal Flush Gang. People are getting their hearts ripped out and the ghosts appear to be running amok. However, the movie will have a ton of holes by the end with characters seeing supernatural occurrences yet shrugging them off like no big deal. Speaking of which--dear lord--there are way too many damn family members. I don't know who the fuck half these people are or what is their relationship to Mayen, Ms. Chiu's character. Mayen's drama with her boyfriend is also ludicrous and should have been cut entirely. And was her cousin trying to marry her? Who was that pink shirt-wearing jackass exactly? And if that weren't enough, Mayen's ex(?) pops up at the eleventh hour to save the day, and we only heard his character mentioned like twice.

The main problem here is a lack of focus. The story is too chaotic and is structured nonsensically. The reveal that Mayen married something akin to a demon was nice, but we are not given context about who or what the ghost is or why it wants Mayen specifically. There is essentially an entire international group of henchman working for this demon yet what is the point? If killing someone while wearing that dumb bracelet sends them to hell, why even bother with this ghost bride scheme? It was amusing when Mayen is suddenly an incredible swordswoman out of nowhere and can beat four bitches at once. Uh, okaaaay. What were the filmmakers actually trying to accomplish here?

Ultimately, there is a lack of vision and direction with "The Ghost Bride." The ghosts are CGI instead of makeup effects which looks atrocious. The movie is too long, has too many tangents, and is not told coherently. Still, I do like certain aspects and can appreciate the effort. Ms. Chiu is as cute as ever and was probably the best part. Underneath all the mistakes, the Ghost Month plot is intriguing and could have been done well. I can't really recommend this when you could get a better experience from "The Maid," but if you're slightly curious maybe go in with low expectations and hope to be surprised.

Notable Moment: When Clinton dies. I actually thought he looked scarier than the ghosts.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Zany antics ensue as a group of people broadcast their investigation into an allegedly haunted asylum.

Review: Considering the kind of horror Korea is known for, it was surprising that this movie was such a huge hit--opting for cookie-cutter scares instead of the psychological. Maybe it was the allure of the actual location, the Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital, that aided in this movie's success. Forget a sequel though since the hospital has since been demolished; perhaps this was due to the film itself? Despite the questionable backstory on the real location, I can say with certainty that the movie is a huge letdown. Nothing happens for more than half the running time, and, when things finally pick up, it's lackluster and by-the-numbers for found-footage. The story presents a variety of angles for the filmmakers to approach the scares yet little is accomplished. I've read others liken this to a Korean "Grave Encounters," but I think that's an insult to "Grave Encounters" which had a payoff worth your time.

You might easily guess what happens. Surprise, the group doesn't think the asylum is really haunted, but then they find out it's all real and die. For the most part this could be acceptable if done properly, however, the film drags its feet with presenting any tension or sense of fear. It also doesn't help when the tone is lighthearted leading up to the group going to the asylum. There are story decisions that lead to nothing like the drone camera; why not have a rooftop ghost for example? The one chick, Charlotte, she's cute, speaks multiple languages, and has been to other haunted locations...they could have worked with that differently. Or the guy hanging out at the camp...lights flicker and stuff but so what? And even the ghost image on the their website...it comes to life at the end...why exactly? Perhaps the most egregious offense to me was the complete squandering of the ghost outline in the shower or whatever it was. Oh man, come the fuck on, the lighting would have been so easy to manipulate between shots to give the illusion of the shadow coming to life. You use the lighting to blend a character's shadow up against the wall's image, cut away, insert ghostly woman in black behind character, and then show the ghost grab the character from behind. This shit writes itself, people! Step up your game.

"Gonjiam" isn't a complete waste, as there are some scattered moments of entertainment, but there really isn't anything done here to stand out among a long list of found-footage tripe. Had the filmmakers fully utilized the material they were dealing with I think this could be better and wouldn't have needed so much padding at the beginning. In fact, I would have rated this a tad higher had the story simply picked up earlier on. Overall, this is just a mediocre time-waster with hints of good ideas that go nowhere.

Notable Moment: When that possessed chick does her noodle-slurping noise. I guess this was supposed to be scary, but I just laughed.

Final Rating: 5/10

Wish Upon Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A whiny, narcissist bitch is given seven wishes that are only granted at the cost of a life.

Review: As I've stated on multiple occasions, I love me some wish-granting stories, however, "Wish Upon" ranks right up there with "Kazaam" in stupidity. If you take every be-careful-what-you-wish-for plot line ever conceived and throw in some blatant ripping off from "Feng Shui" then you have this waste of time. Hell, if I asked you to just guess what a teenage girl would wish for nowaday you would probably guess half this film's story. Yes, it's that cookie-cutter. Except, actually, it's worse than you'd imagine, because the protagonist, Clare, is soooo fucking unlikable and insufferable to withstand. Rarely have we ever had a lead in a wish-granting story this selfish and ungrateful; she possesses more of the traits of a villain really. How many people would continue making wishes even as they know it's killing their best friends and family?! AND this jackass couldn't figure out people were dying until like, what, the fifth wish?! Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen...

Obviously the film fails to create a compelling lead, but is that reason enough to hate the film? No, but everything else is painful as well. As mentioned, this is a by-the-numbers genie-esque tale. You will not be thrown a curve ball or anything worthwhile. While "Feng Shui" had a ghost lurking in the background, and more interesting concepts in general, "Wish Upon" doesn't capitalize on its own premise. Likewise, the rules of the "music box" are flimsy. Someone can steal it and you lose all your wishes...sorta...as long as it moves the plot forward. There is no consistency to say the least. Clare can wish for everyone to love her, but her friends don't change their feelings and think she's becoming a bitch? How? Clare wishes for some dude to fall madly in love with her, but he bides his time for, what seems like, months? The pacing of these events are utter shit, and I already brought up how Clare doesn't notice anyone dying somehow. Plus, how does wishing back her dead mom not alter the very fabric of reality? Oh, no, everything is exactly the same except the mom is magically there. Right. And the mom caused everything or something...? I don't know or care. The movie ends with Clare shockingly going back to the start to undo all the events of the film. Wowwee...I never saw that one coming. Wish upon my ass.

All things considered, this movie is garbage. I do find stories like this intriguing, however, "Wish Upon" does not deliver even the most rudimentary concepts of entertainment. Oh, sure, there are a few glimmers of hope like with the Ryan character (argh) discussing the multiverse and the notion that the film could include that plot thread. Spoiler...it doesn't! Or there could have been a richer backstory on the Chinese lady that originally had the music box but nope. Ultimately, what kills the film as a whole is how annoying Clare is. She makes all the wrong decisions and is a complete idiot. You cheer for her death and it takes so long to deliver on that predictable outcome. If you want to throw away 90 minutes of your life, knock yourself out. Otherwise, I hope you have a magical music box that can send you back in time before you watch this pitiful movie.

Notable Moment: When Clare gets ran over at the end. So stupid, yet, strangely, satisfying to see that bitch fly.

Final Rating: 4/10

Us (2019) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: While vacationing, a family is attacked by their murderous doppelgangers.

Review: Putting it succinctly: "Us" starts out amazing for around 30 minutes, meanders into mediocrity for the second act, and then finishes with one of the worst endings to ever disgrace cinema. Where is the praise for this film coming from?! These so-called critics have become an absolute joke in the last few years. Do they even understand the basic concepts of storytelling at this point? Besides the final twist being beyond fucking predictable, the explanation for what is happening is so ludicrous and implausible that it boggles the mind. What kills me is that I can feel the power of the story at the heart of this mess, yet, it's buried under first draft idiocy and a lack of outside input. Goodness gracious.

I'll be generous and begin with what was done right. As stated, the opening sequence and the early buildup is great, full of intrigue in the best of ways. The attention to detail and simply portraying the camera from the perspective of the kid--showing how they would view mundane things as creepy--is creative and implemented excellently. Later on, there is this conveyance of dread through only visual cues similarly to "Final Destination." This depiction is hard to adequately express in words, but it's not a feat easily accomplished through film as a medium and that impressed me. Overall, the establishment of the premise is effective and thoroughly engaging as the audience will want to figure out what's happening. The story does focus on a family, however, the mom is the main character and she's played with such intensity by Lupita Nyong'o; high praise for her dual performance as the doppelganger. Everyone else is pretty good too, but the mom was exceptional. Finally, I liked many of the stylistic choices and cinematography. "Us" might be disappointing by the end, but it was still awesome up to a certain point which I do acknowledge.

On to the bad and there is a lot! First, let's knock out the final twist. Wowwee, the mom and her doppelganger switched when they were children. OMG WHAAAAAT?!!! Oh, please, that was the kinda shit you could predict from the first few minutes. It did not help either when none of the doppelgangers, called the "tethered" here, can speak except the mom's doppelganger. The thing is, you could keep this twist, but introduce it earlier and make it a plot point. Whatever...this is the least of this movie's problems.

Next, the second act is a complete failure, deflating the momentum established at the beginning. In fact, once the doppelgangers are fighting the originals, the movie is completely lost onward. You might think this is a personal story about one family fighting their evil twins and trying to figure out why it's happening but you'd be wrong. Instead, this turns into some kind of take over the world scheme or, at least, take over the USA. So, yes, everyone has fucking doppelgangers coming after them--not just the main family. This isn't the kind of story that needs that level of scale but okay. The "tethered" make little sense either as they seem superhuman often yet there is no explanation for that; in fact, story evidence would point to the contrary. Furthermore, the doppelgangers inconsistently have to do the actions of their original when the script contrivances kick in. Gotta love contrivances.

At long last, let's go over that trash revelation as to why this is happening. Ready? Okay. Soooo...there are tunnels all over the USA (maybe even the world) and our doppelgangers live there. They were created by...uhh...humans as the movie says...in order to control our actions. So let's just say they were an experiment created by the government and be done with it. Instead of controlling our actions, regular people seem to control the "tethered." When the mom was a little girl and switched places with her doppelganger, she was able to organize the tethered since she can think freely. Over the next 33 years, the "tethered' plotted to come out of the tunnels, form hands across America (yes, you read that right), and kill their originals with scissors because that symbolism was the least subtle they could imagine. And that's it.

Commence ranting and raving: how the fuck can the kids have doppelgangers?! So if two people have sex that somehow creates the exact same sperm and egg combo with the doppelgangers?! Births don't work like that. How did the mom get all those red jumpsuits, gloves, and scissors? Who maintains this facility? Who built this shit and how? They eat endlessly breeding rabbits for food?! Uh huh...because that would work. Okay, so where is the water coming from? Where is the air coming from? It's tough enough feeding people as it is yet we have resources for doubles of everyone?! If the "tethered" mimic our every action and are literally in the same positions to us down in the tunnels...how to they mimic driving, flying, anything?! What happens when someone dies naturally...does the doppelganger die? What if you get hit by a car or jump off a building? If this were some kind of experiment, why would they create everyone in existence?! You don't make a doppelganger for hundreds of millions of people if they aren't even working as intended. How the fuck could the doppelgangers pull a "Thriller" shirt out of their ass unless they have materialization? In fact, everything the doppelgangers have appears out of thin air except apparently the eating the rabbits part. Don't give me this shit about a psychic link! That is just for plot contrivance. A psychic link wouldn't explain getting the same clothes, maintaining similar haircuts, aging exactly the same, dental work, you fucking name it! I could go on and on and on and on. God damn this is fucking retarded. Yeah, we all have clones living in a tunnel who are matching our weight on a rabbit diet, growing the same on a rabbit diet, pulling the same material items out of their ass at the exact same moment, and can have the exact same kids too despite the sheer improbable series of genetic variations necessary to maintain this idiocy.

Needless to say, I was very angry by the time the credits rolled on "Us." I can handle a shitty movie...I mean, hell, look at the kind of garbage I've reviewed over the years. However, I'm so tired of seeing potential squandered, and there are fantastic ideas here, trust me. What's worse is watching critics continue to praise mediocrity in an era where their reputations are all but lost. This stupid ending could have been effortlessly cleaned up, but I can almost guarantee no one pointed out the glaring flaws at any point in the production. All things considered, I do still think "Us" is worth a view; the beginning is done well, and the family is likable. Just make sure you dial you expectations way back and don't even attempt to rationalize the ending.

Notable Moment: The opening sequence with the mom as a little girl. This setup is done so well that it's painful to see that premise turn to shit.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Extra: How to fix everything?

The story tries to depict the "tethered" as humans living underground for the most part, yet, this is not possible on any feasible level. Ditch it. Ditch all this stupid shit with tunnels and everyone having rabbit-eating doppelgangers. Make things personal and only the family have doppelgangers.

You can keep the mom and the doppelganger switching roles. The opening showed a storm and the power going out along with all the mirrors. Say that there is a tethered dimension where everything happens reversed. Somehow this bizarre series of events with the storm and mirrors opened up a gateway long enough for the two girls to switch. The movie already establishes this idea of synchronicity where the mom feels like something is wrong as she has been avoiding that beach her whole life. Make it so the mom's presence allows for the gateway to open again since she doesn't belong in our world since she's tethered.

Have a scene where she confronts her childhood fears in the same mirror, but this allows the doppelgangers to get into our world instead. Since the family has had such a great life you demonstrate the contrast with the tethered having horrible lives. You could even have cool scenes where their lives paralleled in different ways. For example, make the son's stupid "magic trick" not work still, but the tethered son did get it to work and that's why his face is burned. Stuff like that would be really cool and make more sense.

Finally, and this is crucial, make it so that the audience fully realizes the suffering of the mom from our world who got switched into the tethered world. Her desire for revenge and having her life stolen from her should be palpable. At the end, instead of fighting in some classroom with rabbits--these godforsaken rabbits--you have a final showdown in the hall of mirrors. It might be cliche, but you could make it where one mom comes out and the audience is left wondering which one really made it.

Escape Room (2019) Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A group of strangers must solve a series of puzzle rooms in order to survive a sadistic game of death.

Review: Well, "Escape Room" isn't exactly going to win any awards for originality with it's parallels to the "Saw" franchise, the "Cube" trilogy, "13: Game of Death," and a slew of other titles. Nevertheless, the film is still able to be entertaining in its own right and offered clever traps for the characters to navigate. Speaking of which, the characters are intriguing as the audience tries to understand their connection to one another. Honestly I was surprised by the amount of good ideas presented here and how well everything comes together...until the end that is. While the connection the characters have to one another is workable--despite being somewhat disappointing--my main gripe comes with how cornball the events wrap up and that sequel-bait ending. That ending is so cheesy and comical that it's almost cartoonish.

What "Escape Room" does best is create effective tension. Each trap room felt unique and had a layer of depth and planning we don't usually see depicted. In other words, the rooms were meant to connect to the lives of the characters while also syncing up with the previous room. For example, the opening room is intentionally hot in order for the characters to remove as much clothing as possible before going into the next room which wants them to be cold. Follow this up with the cold room creating a weakened and delirious state which is played upon in the upside down room, disorienting them further. Adding to this is that each room does have a connection to the characters with little items to remind them of their past trauma that connects them. "Saw" was somewhat able to pull this off, but "Escape Room" showed an expert level of crafting and plotting that those other "death game" movies lacked.

The other aspect that worked was likable characters. Sure, they're not going to win any writing awards, but their banter and interactions were fun. Making their connection to one another being that they're all sole survivors is cool yet not fully realized. It would have been amazing had each person's accident contributed to the other person's in a manner similarly to "Final Destination 2," but I suppose that would be difficult to write. Nevertheless, this notion that they were all the last person standing and now must be the sole survivor among a group of other sole survivors enhances the struggle. Finally, I want to add that Taylor Russell excellently pulls of that dorky-cute approach as Zoey; I'd do some escape rooms with her that's for sure!

Unfortunately, we get the same shenanigans of a shady corporation or "rich people" masterminding everything. Weak. I get it though--it's a safe explanation that can wrap up any plot contrivance. After all, the "Saw" franchise spent sequel after sequel filling in the holes to explain how one, sickly old man could have done everything depicted in the first entry. However, when this "company" can know the color of a coat you had in the middle of the ocean, and the get well cards you had at the hospital, we are reaching supernatural levels of omniscience. Making matters worse is how over the top and Dr. Claw-esque the supposed "gamemaster" is shown to be. It just sucks to have a terrific buildup throughout the movie only to be introduced to an exposition character, convenient explanations, and a shadowy figure all within like 5 minutes before the credits roll.

Overall, "Escape Room" is just as you'd imagine but in the best of ways. The puzzles aren't as mind-boggling as "Cube,"  as splatter-riffic as "Saw," or pushing any extremes like the Asian death games, however, this doesn't mean you can't enjoy this movie for its own merits. The traps are unique enough to stand out among the crowd, there is a respectable mystery regarding the characters and their connection, and the design of the rooms and the way they build off one another is better than most of the films that are inspiring "Escape Room." This isn't a movie that will change the formula of death games, but it's a worthy addition without a doubt.

Notable Moment: When the group is trying to get out of the upside down room. I think this had just the right level of intensity to keep audiences on their toes, and Amanda dying is an upset I don't think audiences will expect.

Final Rating: 6.5/10