All the Boys Love Mandy Lane Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A group of teens invite the most sought after girl in school, Mandy Lane, for a weekend of fun when the teens start dropping dead.

Review: This is one of the most unusual slashers I have ever seen. It's not that they innovated or introduced some foreign concept, but it played out almost too realistically that it left more unanswered questions than a film ever should. Meaning, in real life, we hardly understand the motivations of deranged killers, but a film usually will reveal, hint, or have a character flat out explain their drive to kill for the audience. However, this film leaves you guessing too much as if I'm trying to solve the damn mystery myself! At the same time, the twist is not all that shocking because any reasonable horror fan should see it coming a million miles away. Lastly, I should note that this film is in a weird limbo-like state because it was made years ago, but did not receive a proper international release. It's not hard to track down, but watch out for the region it's meant for or wait for it to pop up on youtube or something as it has in the past. But let's find out for ourselves, why do all the boys love Mandy Lane?

I've read many complaints wishing this film had been supernatural in nature, but, while I do agree it would have been better as a conventional plot, I can appreciate what they were going for. There is this certain '70s-ish tone to the setting and atmosphere combined with an '80s slasher vibe that makes for a unique experience. The plot is so straightforward to the point of almost making no sense because it overlooks why the events are even occurring. So Mandy Lane is like the hottest girl in some high school, and apparently she used to be a dork or outcast of some sort. I do love the presentation of our dear Ms. Lane, played perfectly by the beautiful Amber Heard, as this virgin saint goddess! The funny thing is, Mandy says so little in this film, but Ms. Heard has mastered subtlety with facial expressions and looks that will make much more sense by the film's end. The film opens with Mandy and her friend Emmet reluctantly invited to a pool party with a group of supposedly cool kids. Emmet convinces some drunken idiot to jump off a roof toward the pool and kills himself; months later, Mandy is now friends with these kids and Emmet is seemingly stalking her. For some reason, this group has arranged a getaway at a ranch in the middle of nowhere where the plan is that every guy will have a shot at "getting with" Mandy. Once there, you notice Mandy having second thoughts as this group of bitches are so annoying you cannot wait for them to die fast enough. Mandy then runs into the ranch helper, Garth, who appears to be a great guy and, I suppose, a red herring. As the "fun" begins at this ranch, the group of bitches become even more annoying doing drugs, drinking, fucking, talking shit, etc. all the while thinking they stand a chance with Mandy and hitting on her.

Finally, as the group slowly makes each other angry, they storm off like babies in a tantrum where a killer lurks in the shadows to pick them off. My main gripe with a lot of these kills are that they were by shotgun rather than a genre-typical stabbing weapon, but, like I said, they were trying for more realism. Another problem is that it is revealed far too early that the killer is Emmet. The audience should have been left in the dark for as long as possible, because, even though knowing it is Emmet was necessary, there were too many red herrings and clues that pointed toward other possible killers. Now, it should come as absolutely no shock that Mandy is in on it. I've read people claiming they did not see her involvement coming as they thought she'd have some other secret relevant to the story, but come on people! She's so shady, had no reason to go on this trip, she clearly hates these people, and often buys the killer time or sends people out to die herself. Once everyone is dead except Garth, it is explained that Emmet and Mandy had planned this with everything ending in a suicide pact. Unfortunately for Emmet, Mandy had no plans to follow through and attempts to get Garth to kill Emmet. When this fails, Emmet and Mandy fight until Mandy comes out on top, killing Emmet's emo bitch ass. The film ends with Mandy patching up Garth as the two drive off into the sunset, and the audience is left wondering whether Mandy really likes Garth or plans to manipulate him as she had everyone else in the film.

Okay, now let's try and delve into the mysterious mind of Mandy Lane! The biggest problem with this movie is we have no idea why Mandy was a killer, why target these people, or pretty much anything! There are hints strewn about but most lead down different understandings of why she killed. Let's deal with the traditional revenge route: it is implied she used to be an outcast and maybe even ugly. If this group in particular were the ones that bullied her most, that would explain why the need to infiltrate and kill them from within. But if it were all about simple revenge, why betray Emmet unless she thought he was like them in some way? He was obviously in love with her; we just don't know enough about her and Emmet's relationship. There is also the fact that there is something going on with Mandy's parents being dead. Is that somehow her drive? Did she kill her parents? Okay, so maybe Mandy is just a pure sociopath who shaped herself to be desirable in order to manipulate people. Obviously Mandy's primary trait is that of a manipulator and those subtle facial expressions I mentioned clearly show she was enjoying the idea that these idiots were dying (can't blame her there though). We have evidence that Mandy got herself in shape by working out as shown by her constant jogging and that she apparently changed her look over just one summer. We can also pretty much rule out any of this working with Emmet notion because she clearly had no plan to go along with him since she says she never did read his journal he wrote about their journey together. Clearly Mandy felt she was going to make it through this, presumably, letting Emmet take the fall. But the degree to her insanity would be determined by whether she continues killing or was this a one and done situation? Furthermore, I've read so many people debating whether Mandy was a lesbian because of one scene where she is seemingly coming on to another girl and it would explain why she has no interest in any guys. Well, she has no interest in the guys because they're all scum, clearly likes Garth because he's a nice guy, but all of this is missing the point of the scene! The girl, Chloe, says the line that "you're hands are shaking," which I suppose one may think it's because Mandy's nervous or thinking about kissing her, BUT what do we see when Mandy is about to kill someone? Her hands shaking! This so-called lesbian scene was merely Mandy preparing to kill Chloe, which she does anyway later, but was interrupted by the other guys. Finally, the whole Garth factor makes it so much harder to determine if Mandy is a sociopath or out for revenge. She didn't respect Emmet because he was just another guy that wanted her while Garth was not going along with things so easily. If Mandy wants revenge, maybe she thinks she can now move on with Garth as her equal or maybe she views manipulating Garth as a challenge of sorts. I'm not even going to discuss the many nuances and details that appear from time to time that apparently had no connection to why Mandy was a killer. Whether you hate this film or not, it will leave a lasting impression as you try to get to the bottom of the twisted psyche of Mandy Lane!

We are left with the rare predicament where the high points of the film are also the main detractors. I can applaud the use of a realistic duo of killers who were deranged and Mandy was perhaps even evil. But at the same time, this is a movie and the audience does not want to be left completely in the dark. There was certainly a desire not to spoon-feed anything to the audience so typically a second viewing is required if you're going to try and figure this shit out. But other than not understanding why things were happening, the pacing could have been tightened, the killer's reveal moved to later in the film, less one-dimensional characters, and don't close out on a flashback if it has no relevance whatsoever to the plot. On the other hand, there is a cool homage feel, the acting is decent enough especially from the subtle Ms. Heard, and the film successfully gets in your head whether you like it or not. I recommend this one for the horror fans out there as a cult following is building apparently leading to a theatrical release even though the film is seven years old already!

Notable Moment: You know I'm a man of simple tastes, and, I have to say, when Mandy is stripping down to her underwear to go swimming was phenomenal! But it was almost epic in its presentation with the rare usage of Beethoven's "Emperor" concerto which is a favorite of mine. Even the makers knew this scene was meant to be stared upon in awe.

Final Rating: 6/10

Ms. Heard preparing to go in for the kill.

Night of the Creeps Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Two dorks inadvertently release an alien parasite that transforms its host into a zombie that breeds more parasites.

Review: Over the years this film has gained a strong cult following in the way many forgotten gems of the '70s and '80s have, but I was that geek that liked it from the beginning. But you knew it was going to be good because it was written and directed by the same guy, Fred Dekker, that made one of my all time favorite movies, "The Monster Squad." While this film isn't quite as good TMS, it is so loaded with '80s cheesiness that it is nearly bursting at the seam. The dialogue, characters, and offbeat oddity to the plot scream of '80's B-movie, but, then again, it has everything so perfectly balanced that it becomes awesome! Think about it, alien leeches, zombies, shitty gore effects, and likable characters including a hot chick, what's not to love?  It's hard to believe so many missed out on this bad boy back in the day, but, let's face it, a ton of shitty horror movies came out of the '80s and many good ones fell through the cracks.

The movie jumps into things right from the first scene as aliens are chasing, what appears to be, a zombie alien that has a creep in a canister. The creeps, as I will refer to them, are essentially leeches that attach to the brain, turning you into a zombie, where they multiply and attempt to infect others. I know for years I could not understand if the one alien was supposed to be a scientist or was everything an experiment gone wrong, but finally seeing the cast list revealed someone credited as "alien zombie." Finally that is cleared up in my head! The zombie alien launches the canister out of an airlock where it somehow ends up on Earth in the late '50s. This allows for some seriously cornball scenes and dialogue with a couple going out to some kind of lover's lane when they see the canister crash. There are a lot of elements incorporated from other films during this segment as, coincidentally enough, an escaped, killer mental patient is on the loose in the same area. As the guy in this couple finds the canister and is infected with the creep, the girl is chopped to pieces by the maniac. The slowness of the guy to become a zombie is merely one of many inconsistencies regarding the creeps so let's address that now.

So we skip ahead, all the way, to the futuristic setting of "pledge week--1986!" Oh shit, now you know things are about to get serious! Two dorks, named Chris and J.C., are hanging out at some party near a fraternity as Chris believes he sees the girl of his dreams, Cynthia, played by the smoking hot Jill Whitlow. While the acting may be shaky at times, the thing I like best about Chris and J.C. is that they have a realistic dynamic to their friendship. They talk to each other in a way that makes it feel as though they have had the same conversations before and have been through shit with each other. This kind of natural behavior and dialogue is one of the reasons why I actually liked "The Wicked" even though everyone hated it; it's hard to have dialogue that makes characters feel real and as if they've known each other for years! I should also note J.C. is disabled from some unknown condition which requires him to walk with the help of crutches. For some reason,  Chris is convinced that if he joins a fraternity he will stand a chance with Cynthia so they try and pledge to some guy who refers to himself as the Bradster. Yes, the Bradster. He's supposed to be the token douchebag, but his acting was so over the top I wished he were in more of the movie! Apparently the Bradster, who is Cynthia's boyfriend, wants them to steal a cadaver and bring it to a rival frat, but what can our heroes do but oblige? Do to sheer hijinks, somehow Chris and J.C. stumble upon the cryogenically frozen guy infected with the creep from the '50s. Now, let's completely ignore the outlandish notion that he would not zombie-out in the time it would take to cryo-freeze someone or that there has to be this cryogenic technology to begin with or why in the hell would they keep his body at a facility debatably on campus instead of the some government research lab?! If you're overlooking this stupidity, then chances are you're really enjoying this film! After releasing the guy, he comes to life and Chris and J.C. run away as the only scientist in the vicinity becomes infected.

From here we are introduced to Detective Cameron played by horror icon Tom Atkins. Oh come on, you remember him..."Halloween III" my favorite? That fucking piece of shit! Cameron is a mixed bag for many because his character will either come off amusing or annoying as hell since he's always sarcastic and saying "thrill me." Personally, I like the character because Mr. Atkins does a good job, and because I knew the character was meant to be an homage to classic detective novels which you even see strewn about his home. Cameron is also suicidal and a bit unstable since he was the ex-boyfriend of the girl who was chopped up in the beginning and he secretly killed the mental patient. At the same time, zombie guy finds his way to Cynthia's sorority and his head bursts into many creeps right in front of her. The next day, the Bradster and his flunkies confront Chris and J.C. about the prank that seemingly went awry. Cynthia overhears their side of the story as they explain they wimped out, but the Bradster does not likey and kicks out J.C.'s crutches. Cynthia then helps the dorks while ditching the Bradster as Cameron shows up to question the duo which he humorously dubs as Spanky and Alphalpha. The two convince Cameron they aren't involved as Cynthia later shows up at their dorm believing they are the only ones who may understand what she saw with the zombie guy. In all honesty, if someone as hot as Ms. Whitlow was speaking the nonsense she was saying I think I'd be even more interested! Cynthia even asks out Chris to some formal dance--lucky bastard. Unfortunately, J.C. had left to let Chris and Cynthia have some alone time when he is attacked by creeps and infected.

Cameron later explains to Chris that he killed the mental patient as, conveniently enough, a creep brings the mental patient back to life to begin a new killing spree and infecting a dog with a creep. Cameron eventually kills the zombie again and sees the creeps running about. This leads to the next contrivance as somehow J.C. was able to leave a recording to Chris explaining how the creeps work, they are vulnerable to fire, and he was killing himself. I didn't want J.C. to die but it's a good thing he was able to explain everything to the characters and audience in a convenient manner skipping all that exposition! For some reason a bunch of douchebags are traveling to this formal dance by bus which crashes when trying to dodge zombie-dog. The doggie then proceeds to infect the bus full of mostly Bradster flunkies as the Bradster too is infected by the doggie at a later point. Chris and Cameron borrow a flamethrower from the police armory because uh, what police station doesn't have a flamethrower on standby?! Cynthia is all dressed up looking even sexier as zombie Bradster tries to infect her only for Chris to show up and save the day. For some inexplicable reason, Chris gives Cynthia the flamethrower as the bus full of zombie flunkies show up to meet their dates. You have to love the action in these scenes because it is just hilarious to see Ms. Whitlow torching zombies. Eventually they realize all the creeps are gathering in the basement of the sorority because a plot device presented earlier demands it! Cameron laces the place with gasoline and then blows himself up with all the creeps in a semi-epic manner. From here there are two distinct endings, one of which I only recently viewed. The ending I have watched my whole life involves the zombie-dog reappearing and infecting Cynthia. I never did like that ending because I don't want Cynthia dying damn it! But apparently the original, director's ending involved Cameron, charred and infected, making his way to a cemetery when his head bursts out more creeps. Then the aliens finally show up looking for the creeps. I much prefer this ending because it would make more sense that the aliens would have tracked down the creeps ala "Critters" style, and because I don't like the idea of Cynthia dying.

Is this film corny and full of over the top lame scenes? Yes. Sure, the acting is bad at times, the dialogue can be stupid, and some effects are really weak, but none of this deters from the overall presentation. Like other underrated horror movies, there is this certain charm to the film that shines through especially when it offers that rare instance of making characters appear to be genuine friends. You do need to have a certain appreciation for films like this, but it just works somehow. I have to give credit for the creativity and unconventional direction the plot goes in as well. I definitely recommend tracking this down and now that it has been given a proper re-release, it shouldn't be all that hard. Although, from what I've read, this updated version only includes the director's ending. So if you're interested in the ending people have been watching for years, look it up on youtube or something. Either way, give this one a try, but understand it comes off more as a comedy horror than meant to be serious.

Notable Moment: When J.C. rants about how Chris is a little bitch; it makes the characters feel more real with an established friendship. If only more films would take the time to add that little bit of development.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

The lovely Ms. Whitlow killing it '80s style:

The Conjuring Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After a family moves into a new home, they discover it is haunted and seek aid from notorious paranormal investigators.

Review: I've begun to notice a trend that the better a film does the more people seem to knock it for no good reason. There are already reviews claiming this film was overhyped, not scary, and even bad. It had some cool trailers, but, beyond that, how was it overhyped? The real most overhyped movies this year were all the bombs--I could have told you "The Conjuring" was going to easily blow away the likes of "R.I.P.D." and fucking "Turbo." I mean, come on, really?! Yes, critics are praising it because it deserves the praise, but it's as if the more successful a movie becomes, the more people feel they need to take away from it; I want to refer to it as "Avatar/Inception syndrome" or something like that. The only real downside I noticed was an overall sense of unoriginality to the scares as it's mostly things we have viewed many times before, but this film still manages to make the scares their own and in a stylized way. Some have said most were jump scares, but I disagree and for me the best scene in the whole film didn't even show a ghost and was making me anxious as hell which I'll go into at the end. Obviously I really liked this film as it was truly creepy with some genuinely terrifying moments with that added sense of dread that perhaps some of the events may have actually occurred.

Okay, let's first deal with the validity of this allegedly "true story." I should note there is also a detailed and prolonged history to the film's production you can explore too. If you want to really get to the bottom of it all, check out the "House of Darkness House of Light" books to hear the story from the Perron family. But to be fair to the skeptics, the books tell the tale more than 30 years after the events and that leaves a lot of room to let your imagination run wild or, at the very least, for us to question the accuracy of your recollection. The infamous paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, have stated that it was the most disturbing case they had dealt with, but if it was as severe as it is claimed to be, why did the Perron family stay in the house for 10 years? No one died so the threat was not as immediate as well. Eh, I never know what to think in these situations, because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I am never satisfied with no major physical evidence (I mean beyond an audio recording, etc.); in the movie there's all kinds of recordings and documentation but not very convincing evidence in reality. Oh well, nothing I can say will change anyone's mind and I'm no expert on the story so on with the show!

As I mentioned, there is this stylized, old school 1970s feel, which is appropriate as it is the '70s in the story, but it's more than that. There was a clear and successful attempt to instill certain techniques, tone, and scares specific to that decade of horror films; besides the fact that there is a character who becomes possessed, this is one of the main reasons many keep claiming it feels like "The Exorcist." I don't necessarily agree with that sentiment, but I can understand why many draw that conclusion. However, like "The Exorcist," this film is scary as hell with some awesome setups, in your face scares, and, yes, even cheap jump scares, but they're done well. We first get an interesting introduction to the Warrens, to establish their extensive history dealing with the supernatural, when we are regaled with the tale of a haunted doll which leads to some freaky scenes both at the onset of the film and one of the best scenes toward the end. The Warrens are played excellently by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga who portray their characters with a lot of heart. And for some reason I feel inclined to say, Mr. Wilson (hey Mr. Wilson!), please stop doing other genres and become a horror king because you seem to feel so at home in these kind of movies. But the primary focus of the story is on the Perron family of seven as they discover the horror that lurks in their new home. The parents are played by Lili Taylor who does an impressive job carrying a large portion of the film and of course my boy Ron Livingston (Say hi to Lumbergh for me!). The five daughters are played mostly by recognizable faces from various recent films, but they're each given a time to shine throughout the film as they deliver a realistic sense of fright.

So the story is never that complicated as essentially we see one cool setup after another as the Perrons are haunted, seek the help of the Warrens, and then attempt to end the haunting. Now, granted, most of the early scares are things we've come to expect from a haunted house film such as items moving on their own, scared pets, whispers, etc., but as the film picks up we get some truly remarkable moments worthy of a top horror list. I don't want to spoil too many because it's best to see them for yourself and be caught off guard. I only wish the many trailers hadn't shown so much because the clapping game scenes are really great and would have had me more tense if hadn't already known the outcomes! There are multiple ghosts in the home but the main one is some kind of malevolent spirit that is semi-demonic so I guess it's like a hybrid. Supposedly there was a woman named Bathsheba who was believed to be a witch and sacrificed a child or her child to satan. The movie's version and the folklore surrounding this woman differ quite a bit so who knows what's truth here. Whatever, her evil spirit inhabits the house, and land for that matter, as she seeks to possess the mother and kill the kids; Bathsheba is disturbing-looking enough, but I would have preferred a slightly different approach to her makeup effects. The actual most memorable and horrifying moments are when you don't see anything and your expectations are toyed with. This is why I didn't understand the jump scare criticism since many scenes required the audience to put themselves in the situation to appreciate how unsettling the scenario was, but I guess if the music spikes that automatically makes it a jump scare? I'll admit the ending feels a bit abrupt, despite having a strong and insane climax, mostly because everything just wraps up in a nice, neat package with a typical Hollywood happy ending out of the blue. They're already discussing a sequel so maybe we will have more with the Perron story, but I imagine they will simply continue with another tale from the Warren's history.

Overall, this was an incredibly scary film definitely worthy of the praise and success it is receiving thus far. Sure, it had it's fair share of flaws, questionable editing, a hint of unoriginality, and an overly sentimental ending, but it's strong points and high scare factor severely outweigh these problems. The acting, pacing, style, atmosphere, and musical score were all exceptional and commendable. There was also a creative use of a limited budget and a play on the audience's expectations and imagination that deserves to be mentioned. I highly recommend this film for reminding me I can still feel uneasy hours or days after watching a film. I really need to assemble a top 10 horror film list!

Notable Moment: When the one daughter is nearly pulled out of her bed by a ghost. The tension and fear is properly built up as she carefully checks under the bed only to realize the ghost is by the door. This is followed by the girl telling her sister something is in the shadows. Although we never see anything, this is how you execute an awesome scare by merely playing on the imagination of the audience. This is also a great example of how to create powerful scares with a smaller budget and without shitty CGI.

Final Rating: 7.5/10