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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Shocker Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After being executed, a serial killer returns as an electrical demon that jumps from body to body.

Review: Don't ask me why, but I really liked this movie when I was a kid. In fact, we had a kind of "tag" based off this movie due to the possessions the killer used. So when you'd tag someone, they had to do the limp the killer does to signify you're "it." Also, if you tagged someone without limping we counted that as cheating and you're still it. Hey! It was fun to us! Anyway, this movie does not hold up as well as I had imagined. This is like '80s cheesiness on PCP. I can't tell if it was meant to be completely serious, but, even if it weren't, there are still too many goofball moments. On top of this, we have to consider that Wes Craven made this film with the intention of establishing a successor to Freddy and the Nightmare franchise. Can we say fail. I'm not going to lie though, I would have thoroughly enjoyed a "Shocker 2," but this movie did not do well at all. Don't worry Wes, you had "Scream" to save the day.

One of the biggest problems is this movie takes a long ass time to get going. The structure of the story is nonsensical and needed to be reworked for cohesion. I mean, the killer doesn't even take the "shocker" form until halfway into the film. I get that they wanted to give us some back story, but this was going overboard. Oh well, at least the movie opens with a song that is based off the title of the film...a true '80s wonder. Then we meet our lead, Jonathan, who is presented as an idiot by falling all over the place during football practice. This was dumb because Johnny ends up being somewhat likable, but his initial impression is that of a jackass. John-boy has that hot kind of '80s girlfriend, named Alison, who you know will end up sliced and diced. When the two walk home, we suddenly shift into "A Nightmare on Elm Street" as Jonathan dreams about the serial killer, Horace Pinker, just as he's murdering Jonathan's family. There is a distinction, however, since John-boy has a psychic connection to Pinker and can astral project or something...so they aren't simply dreams. Honestly, it doesn't matter and becomes nothing more than a contrived plot device after awhile. Living in a town with the worst news station ever, they keep announcing the details of the story almost begging for Pinker to retaliate. Jonathan convinces his dad, a police lieutenant, that he knows who Pinker is and where he's at. Of course the cops all get slaughtered, because they are morons. John-boy, being the sweet guy that he is, gives Alison a necklace for her birthday amidst this chaos, but Pinker is conveniently there to carve the girl up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Getting super pissed, Jonathan and his best friend concoct a Freddy-esque scheme of astral projecting to Pinker then being woken up before Johnny can die. Of course this works and they go to fight Pinker, but the cops followed John-boy and screw it all up. Keep in mind, Pinker has that limp I talked about yet never appears to have trouble outrunning people. Jonathan manages to catch Pinker, the two fight, and when Pinker is about to kill Johnny, the cops intervene and arrest Pinker.

I don't know how much time is meant to have passed, but I'm calling bullshit anyway. Pinker is already prepared for execution in the electric chair--do you know how many years down the road that would actually be? With a serial killer like Pinker we'd be looking at a trial that took years. Then we'd deal with endless appeals followed by appeals to the execution verdict plus time stuck on death row. Forget all that shit. Pinker is getting executed before John-boy's wounds from the fight are done healing apparently! Pinker has a plan though as he makes a deal with a magic TV demon who gives him powers by merely saying, "You got it, baby." I mean, of course magic TV demons would be all '80s hip and stuff and look like that fucking plant from "Little Shop of Horrors." Oh for the love of fuck. Don't even tell me this was the inspiration for those idiotic dream demons in "Freddy's Dead." Ugh...I shudder at the thought. After being a little bitch, Pinker is brought to the execution where he reveals he's actually Jonathan's father. No...no...that's not true....THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I'm not joking, Pinker really is Johnny's father since it was briefly mentioned he was adopted by the lieutenant when he was a child. Whatever, Pinker gets fried. When he seemingly survives the execution, the entire area erupts in bursts of electrical flashes, the lights go out, Pinker's body disappears, and we know Pinker has possessed the doctor that checked his vital signs. When they search around the facility, they find Pinker's body that disintegrates just as Pinker, inside the doctor, possesses a cop that crashes his car. Jonathan suspects something is not right, but he's too busy having nightmares of a bloody Alison who somehow returns that necklace to him.

Pinker, inside that cop, comes to Jonathan and they set into motion one of the most ridiculous action sequences you could imagine. For one, Pinker, with that limp, always manages to be just behind Jonathan in each shot; this is sloppy editing and continuity at its finest. Pinker appears to have gone to the stormtrooper school of aiming as well. Jonathan comes to the conclusion that Pinker can only possess someone for so long before their life force is worn out and he must find another body. Despite this, John-boy runs around a park they end up at without any effort made to get out of there and get help. Pinker jumps from a few bodies with the dumbest one being inside a little girl. Terrible. When accidentally dropping Alison's necklace on the possessed little girl, it forces Pinker out instantly revealing that it's Pinker's kryptonite. When possessing another guy, Pinker decides instead of simply killing Jonathan, he'd rather get rid of the necklace first by throwing it in a lake. Sounds smart. Johnny finally escapes the park and seeks help from his football team and coach. Man, try and watch this scene and imagine your friend is telling you the plot of this movie as if they believe it's real. But it's okay, you have to get the exposition out of the way when you're already at the 1 hour mark. Conveniently enough, Pinker is listening in as they discuss a plan to get the necklace from the lake Pinker tossed it in. Later on, John-boy checks to see what happened to his coach and finds he's possessed by Pinker now. Then Alison's ghost pops up to fight Pinker...uhh...yeah, sure, why not. Okay, I admit I may be describing things in a ridiculous away, but come on! If you can fight Pinker, then just fucking kill him yourself instead of making John-boy do it.

Through shenanigans, the coach gains the willpower to kill himself and force Pinker out who then puts himself into the electrical wiring itself. When the cops show up and find the bodies, they arrest Jonathan just as Pinker possesses the lieutenant. Conveniently though, Johnny's best friend shows up and rescues him from Pinker who takes to the streets to chase down Jonathan. Gotta love how outlandish this whole scene is, and they included more of the limping Pinker always keeping even with Jonathan who is clearly outrunning him. The pursuit leads to the top of a television broadcast tower where Pinker is once again willed out of the body, but he flees into the TV network itself. Jonathan finally concocts a plan to destroy Pinker that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever. After having a dream with Alison and Pinker's other victims, Johnny magically has the necklace just as Pinker is possessing a chair. Okay, okay, now things are getting so stupid I'm laughing. Mission accomplished, movie? There's something about luring Pinker to the room where he murdered Jonathan's family, but whatever. The two then end up traveling into the TV and jump from channel to channel while fighting each other which was admittedly cool. Not sure how they don't die, but the movie finally stopped taking itself seriously; I guess this was their attempt to show-up the shenanigans in the Nightmare franchise. But it still comes off more stupid than funny. Like, if you saw someone come out of your TV, all Samara/Sadako-style, then proceeded to have a wrestling match in your living room, would you be concerned about where the butter for your popcorn was? Don't get me started, son. The two end up fighting their way back to that room I mentioned through Johnny using a remote control he finds. Pinker is stalled long enough for Jonathan's friends to knock out the electricity for the town which will leave Pinker with no bodies to possess or electrical outlets to save himself with...I guess. John-boy escapes the room and there are explosions and stuff and Pinker is somehow dead. The movie ends with Jonathan looking at fake stars and Alison's ghost saying they're beautiful. My, my, my...

You know, there are still a few good aspects to this movie I enjoy. You obviously must appreciate the over the top cheesiness associated with the era. Pinker is kind of imaginative despite his wannabe Freddy personality. Alison, as some kind of x-factor, is unique and original in many respects while providing a few legitimate scares. And surely this film crosses into that so bad it's good territory. On the other hand, the story is a fucking mess and shows us many scenes that could have been left out completely. The best way I can describe this aspect is that it felt like these were ideas that should have spread out over a franchise rather than shoved into one movie. Most things that happen make no sense, are laughably stupid, or are simply pure bullshit. I think if this movie had come out earlier in the '80s, as opposed to '89, this would have been successful. It's not terrible, but it's corny as fuck. I think it's worth a view, but I can see why a lot of people hate this movie.

Notable Moment: When Pinker possesses a stupid little girl and tries to run Jonathan over with a bulldozer of sorts. Not only is this scene laughably bad from start to finish, but the little girl trying to limp was pitiful. Oh goodness gracious.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

Alison, played by Camille Cooper, hotter as a ghost? I think I'm going to say yes.

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